Singles

Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

By Melany on September 2, 2014 in Relationships

Social Media rocks and advances in technology are cool but it is killing my dating life. I can’t remember the last time a guy actually picked up the phone and called me. Also, what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. Click To Tweet If we have been talking via the computer or some other typing device I want to meet before Teddy Brewski… Continue Reading

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Run For Your Life: It’s A Singles Event

By Melany on August 19, 2014 in Relationships

Once upon a time there was a blonde, single girl who was a great catch but could not meet anyone normal so she decided to put on her big girl panties, black eyeliner, 6inch Louis Vuitton heels and try something new. Yes, the Louis may have been a little much for the 115 degree Arizona heat but she wanted to wear them so she did. After getting lost in a second parking lot that week she arrives at her final destination, which is a group of young, active, singles looking to meet people just like them. And…. STOP right there…. Continue Reading

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Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

By Melany on July 21, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

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10 Snarky Rules for Dating My Owner: Woofed by Teddy Brewski

By Melany on July 5, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy day after the 4th of July aka July 5, 2014. I am writing to you from HOT Arizona and was supposed to be unpacking these past few days but my AC is non operable, neither toilets are working and I had more than enough creepy crawlies in my place that I had to check into a hotel. There is more to this story and is a contender for the Greatest Hits section but I wanted to post something super cute today. While I am in the process of shuffling clothes, shoes and purses from one area code to another,… Continue Reading

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41 Things Before The Alarm Rings

By Melany on June 26, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

I am up but the rest of my body is sleeping. You know when you get up and you should go back to bed but you don’t because you have 41 things on your mind for the day? Yeah – that’s me every day! I never said these things were important to everyone – don’t judge, or do, because we all do. This was written at 6:00AM so here is a little peak into my early morning mind for the day….. 1. Get up before the dog. If Teddy Brewski hears me walking around before 7AM I will never get… Continue Reading

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Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

By Melany on June 3, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Since I did win in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category yesterday I thought I would share with you a funny ditty. Here goes…. You know how bad and non-existent dating is in the city of angels because I have told you over and over again. So, why not import someone? I did just that with my last tour mate. He hailed from the desert and we had known each other for quite sometime so I thought that this could be a real keeper until our last rendez vous ended in disaster somewhere between the Boulevard of Broken Dreams and… Continue Reading

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Bad Ass Blog Award – Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

By Melany on June 2, 2014 in Relationships

Happy Birthday to me 10 days early! MelanysGuydlines was nominated and won The 2014 Badass Blog Award in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category! Thank you to all that read, support and voted for me. I really appreciate it and happy that my hard work is being recognized on such an awesome platform. It is even sweeter to know that I was voted on by peers and fans alike with thousands of nominations flooding the Indie Chicks website. Here is my badge! I am going to sport this loud and proud. Wouldn’t you? It was a good race… Continue Reading

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Same Old Story: Too Much, Too Skinny, Too Dumb, or Too Too

By Melany on May 27, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

Random post. I wonder why every time I wear no makeup – I get hit on? But, if I am dressed to the nines guys seem to duck under tables. It is so weird. Does wearing makeup make me unapproachable? Or do guys just really like to pick up on girls that look young? I mean every time I am sans makeup I get carded. Thank you – this is awesome but I am totally confused by it. I get carded without makeup often (even though I think this is a quasi-creepy attempt for the bouncer to get all my… Continue Reading

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Bringing Sexy Back: Enter & Win $190 Love Massage Box from Hello Cheri

By Melany on May 7, 2014 in Goodies

I always say I will never post anything on the blog that will embarrass my parents or I will look back in a few years and want to crawl under a table from OMG syndrome. With that said, I am all about finding love and cherishing the one you love (if I could ever find him-where is he hiding???) I also don’t think you need one specific day to show your partner that you love them like the Hallmark holiday of Valentines Day. You should appreciate each other every day and no one should tell you when, where and why…. Continue Reading

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Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth Part 2

By Melany on May 5, 2014 in Relationships

And without further ado…..PART 2 to Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth. If you did not read PART 1 – you should! 4. Manners/Doesn’t Know Shit/Full of Shit -She thinks that if she is indecisive and acts like she doesn’t know what to order while at dinner that it makes her date feel more like a man and being courteous to his wallet. Unfortunately, the only thing this does is annoy him and makes him want to jump out the nearest window (which is nearby their “best” table he has so cleverly arranged with the host while being early)…. Continue Reading

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Getting a Second Date: The Real Truth

By Melany on April 28, 2014 in Relationships

So, you want to know how to get a second date? Before you can “want” a second date you need to successfully survive and impress on the first one, right? I am willing to bet that no one willingly goes out on first dates just to go on one date. First dates are awkward no matter how drunk you get (and that could lead to a more awkward second date but that is a different post). They are by far one of the most uncomfortable situations so it is fair to assume most of us go on a first… Continue Reading

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Surviving Beverly Hills: Rockstars & Bitches

By Melany on April 24, 2014 in Snarky

Earlier this week, I was invited to a schmoozing event in Beverly Hills at the Four Seasons Hotel. I met some exciting people including chatting it up with Shirley Jones and Marty Ingel (just another evening hanging out with an Oscar winner and her comedian husband). They were great and he had me laughing! But, if I had a dollar for every time someone (especially older gentlemen) ask why I am still single or what I do working in social media, I would be filthy, stinking, snarking rich! So, I put Marty to the test and asked if he knows… Continue Reading

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