It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s A Zeusvision Bus : Larger Than Life Creative Ads For You & Me

Melanysguydlines on a Zeusvision bus

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the world of Zeusvision and their ginormous buses. You’ve seen outdoor advertising in many places? Those annoying looped vids in Las Vegas taxis that repeat the most annoying ads for huge companies with no relation to the person viewing in the cab. What about those billboards in NY or LA that stay up for too long? Can you say a decaying, Thanksgiving ad that still hangs above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. when Santa is coming down the chimney for his milk and cookies Christmas Day? Have you ever wanted… Continue Reading

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Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

The social media world is vast and offers so many opportunities I wouldn’t otherwise have without this blog and MelanysGuydlines channels. This morning I was honored to “hangout” as guest on Reality Crowd TV discussing crowdfunding, entrepreneurship, and relationship marketing in social Media & PR. The only catch was we taped via Google Hangouts and most guests were on the East Coast. As you know, I am somewhere in the world but on the West Coast. So, when I woke Teddy Brewski up at 5AM to take him for a walk and it was pitch black in the desert –… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

Why people like memes III: Tired and LAZY

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

Why people like memes II Naked & Afraid

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen


Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

Dont you ever wonder why?

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Win A Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps

Win a Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s Timbaland Sweepstakes

Ella…Ella…Ella…..Read this entire post to find out how you can win one of the coolest contests yet! Yes. How amazing is this? Can you believe that I worked in the music business for ten years and never went to a Coachella Festival! What is wrong with me? Can you say workaholic? And now….I have a chance to offer you guys the opportunity to go! Let me explain the Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps to you. REWIND. So, last month, Lenovo and Microsoft teamed up with Timbaland (love and yes I am a rocker but love him) to create… Continue Reading

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Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

Win Martian Smart Watch worth $300

You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both… Continue Reading

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I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too!

Purina Paws4Life Pledge

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Purina® for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge a happy pet is a healthy pet from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too! Come on! It is easy! Well, we all know that Teddy Brewski is my main dog man. I was so happy to pick him up yesterday as I have been traveling so much lately and he has been staying with my favorite dog trainers at Partner Dog Training in Cave Creek, Az. I highly recommend them, though I think he… Continue Reading

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MelanysGuydlines iPhone6 Case & My Own Store On Zazzle

Teddy Brewski approves Zazzle custom iPhone6 cases

We have a winner of the Zazzle contest for the iPhone6 case! Congratulations to Karen who told me that she unselfishly and wonderfully is going to gift the case to a friend going through a hard time right now! I think that rocks. Enjoy and keep up that spirit. I wish I had more friends like you. Guess what she is going to put on her friend’s case? She is going to put a picture of her friend’s Pug. Pugs rock! What would you put on your case? I love all of the suggestions on how to customize the iPhone6… Continue Reading

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Cox Business Proves Whatever Happens In Vegas Doesn’t Stay In Vegas: #GetStartedLV

Cox Business & Inc Magazine: Get Started Las Vegas

  Whoever said, “Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” doesn’t know twitter or social media, especially when Cox Business and Inc. Magazine are involved. If you have been following me via social media you know I was in Las Vegas last week courtesy of Cox Business for an event called Get Started Las Vegas at the Palms Hotel and Casino. First, can I tell you how much I love my job? Whoever said “Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” doesn’t know twitter and Cox Business…Click To TweetPowered By… Continue Reading

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How Snarky Are You? Quiz

how snarky are you quiz?

  Take this quiz I created with the help of Riddle App and tell me – How snarky are you? Take this quiz I created with Riddle App & tell me – How snarky are you?Click To TweetPowered By CoSchedule Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit of snarky in him or her. Put your personality to the test. We will break down your inner snark and let you know where you reside in Snarkland! That may even be too much mention of the “S” word for me. Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a… Continue Reading

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Snarky Tales: Humor From a Girl With A Dog & A Blog

Snarky Tales from a girl with a dog and a blog

So, I am super proud of this: My first online publication on Issuu! It was hard to pick which posts should be included in this installation so I went with a bunch of my greatest hits. Hope you like it because I laughed re-reading these. I can’t believe these have all happened to me, but they have. Sit back, relax, grab a drinky-poo and enjoy! BTW – The easiest part of creating this magazine was the name: Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A Blog Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A… Continue Reading

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Tinder for Shoes? Shoe Swipe


We all know that I have been on Tinder a time or 100 and for some reason no matter how many not so great guys I have met on there, I go back for more. It is addicting. Like gambling, but I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter. I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter.Click To TweetPowered By CoSchedule It is so fun showing people Tinder and how easy it is to just x out someone’s face like yelling “NEXT”… Continue Reading

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21 Things I Can’t Travel Without

21 Things I Can’t Travel Without

If you have been keeping up with me that is better than what I am doing. I was actually in one place for longer than two months in July and August and my suitcase called to tell me that he needed a workout, so I obliged. People always tell me I need to put roots down but every time I try to put down the anchor other things pop up in my schedule that need to be attended to for work. Just this week, I traveled from Scottsdale, AZ to Beverly Hills, CA and then next week I will travel… Continue Reading

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Get Some Satisfaction: Win $100 Official USA Network’s “Satisfaction” Kit

win USA network kit worth $100

What gives you satisfaction? Do you measure your satisfaction by job success? Wealth? Love? Happiness? I think most of us would agree with Mick Jager when he sings “I can’t get no satisfaction” in life. Achieving satisfaction is harder than ever these days with the advent of technology. I am not talking getting to the next level of Candy Crush but I am talking about communication. Text messages, emails and non-verbal communication lead to many issues interpersonal relationships never experienced before (like mine). Like life was not complicated enough – now, we need to read between the lines and guess… Continue Reading

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