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Don’t Be A Turkey: Vote For Me!

TURKEY!

This year has been absolutely insane for MelanysGuydlines. I can not thank you all enough for supporting me through this snarky journey! It is a labor of love, a lot of hard work, very little sleep and I need an assistant BUT it is all worth it! I mean really  – THANK YOU to all of those that support and those who don’t, what is wrong with you? Don’t worry, I know you will need me sooner or later. I mean, I need new haters because they all like me now. Is that snarky enough for you? I need new… Continue Reading

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Win Official Lucky Star from International Star Registry ® : 2 Winners, $110 Value

win or buy a star from the International star registry

It is that time of year where we are all scrambling to find the perfect gift. Of course, you could buy someone flowers or give them chocolate but why not go to the extra mile? Like all the way to the Cosmos in our galaxy better known as the Milky Way. I mean – how cool is that? Did you know that you could officially name a star? The International Star Registry ® can make this dream come true for you. All I had to do when naming my star was decide on the name. This could be anyone –… Continue Reading

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You Had Me At Wine In Paradise: Red Stitch Wine Event At Sanctuary On Camelback Mountain

Red Stitch Wine Event & Chef Beau Macmillian at the Sanctuary Camelback Hotel

This post is easy to write. The only part that would make it better is if I could do these things all over again. Do you think we could rewind the clock back a week or so just for me? Please? I have been a good girl! If I can’t do that then I will settle for sharing my must see, must eat, must drink and must travel things with you…well, that YOU MUST DO ASAP! Travel to Scottsdale Arizona and stay at the Sanctuary on Camelback Mountain. I received a press release about a Red Stitch wine event at… Continue Reading

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Win $315 Monat Hair Care Package: The Natural & Healthy Hair Revolution

Win $315 Monat Hair Care Package

Last week I introduced you to Hairfinity Hair Vitamins, which gives hair healthy nourishment from the inside out. So, why not let you in on another little secret to my healthy hair and what I use on the outside to achieve my voluptuous locks? Introducing MONAT Hair! The Monat hair care line is a naturally based and contains oils that help hair grow thicker, longer, stronger, healthy and youthful with long-lasting results. We all want that right? Especially, since the weather is turning cold and our hair, skin and nails are thirsty and not for Grey Goose. What can we do to… Continue Reading

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The Higher The Hair The Closer To Healthy: Hairfinity

The Higher The Hair the closer to Healthy: Hairfinity

  Summer is now officially gone (well, almost even though it was in the 80’s in Arizona yesterday). I love the sun…like a lot, a lot but not in I rolled around in a bag of Dorritos kind of way. Side note: please chill on the self-tanner ladies and if you must rub yourself orange – blend it, k? No one likes to see streaks on the back of your legs. It is inevitable that when the weather changes not only do I lose my tan but my skin and nails take a hit as well. Haven’t you noticed that… Continue Reading

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Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

Happy Halloweenie - #dresslikeaslutday

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter.   Now, it is… Continue Reading

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It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s A Zeusvision Bus : Larger Than Life Creative Ads For You & Me

Melanysguydlines on a Zeusvision bus

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the world of Zeusvision and their ginormous buses. You’ve seen outdoor advertising in many places? Those annoying looped vids in Las Vegas taxis that repeat the most annoying ads for huge companies with no relation to the person viewing in the cab. What about those billboards in NY or LA that stay up for too long? Can you say a decaying, Thanksgiving ad that still hangs above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. when Santa is coming down the chimney for his milk and cookies Christmas Day? Have you ever wanted… Continue Reading

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Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

The social media world is vast and offers so many opportunities I wouldn’t otherwise have without this blog and MelanysGuydlines channels. This morning I was honored to “hangout” as guest on Reality Crowd TV discussing crowdfunding, entrepreneurship, and relationship marketing in social Media & PR. The only catch was we taped via Google Hangouts and most guests were on the East Coast. As you know, I am somewhere in the world but on the West Coast. So, when I woke Teddy Brewski up at 5AM to take him for a walk and it was pitch black in the desert –… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

Why people like memes III: Tired and LAZY

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

Why people like memes II Naked & Afraid

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen

final400murad3

Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

Dont you ever wonder why?

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Win A Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps

Win a Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s Timbaland Sweepstakes

Ella…Ella…Ella…..Read this entire post to find out how you can win one of the coolest contests yet! Yes. How amazing is this? Can you believe that I worked in the music business for ten years and never went to a Coachella Festival! What is wrong with me? Can you say workaholic? And now….I have a chance to offer you guys the opportunity to go! Let me explain the Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps to you. REWIND. So, last month, Lenovo and Microsoft teamed up with Timbaland (love and yes I am a rocker but love him) to create… Continue Reading

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Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

Win Martian Smart Watch worth $300

You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both… Continue Reading

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I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too!

Purina Paws4Life Pledge

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Purina® for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge a happy pet is a healthy pet from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too! Come on! It is easy! Well, we all know that Teddy Brewski is my main dog man. I was so happy to pick him up yesterday as I have been traveling so much lately and he has been staying with my favorite dog trainers at Partner Dog Training in Cave Creek, Az. I highly recommend them, though I think he… Continue Reading

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MelanysGuydlines iPhone6 Case & My Own Store On Zazzle

Teddy Brewski approves Zazzle custom iPhone6 cases

We have a winner of the Zazzle contest for the iPhone6 case! Congratulations to Karen who told me that she unselfishly and wonderfully is going to gift the case to a friend going through a hard time right now! I think that rocks. Enjoy and keep up that spirit. I wish I had more friends like you. Guess what she is going to put on her friend’s case? She is going to put a picture of her friend’s Pug. Pugs rock! What would you put on your case? I love all of the suggestions on how to customize the iPhone6… Continue Reading

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