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Guydlines for a Fun Labor Day Weekend

labor day fun

For most of you, it is a long weekend. For social media people, it is never a weekend. Social Media never sleeps and as you all know – neither do I. But, I am promising myself that this weekend will be different. I am a liar. But, I am going to TRY really hard. You read it here first and I hate to let you down. At least I am tired this time from doing so many new things. I am “re-tired” after looking at all the pics I wanted to include in this post so let me try and… Continue Reading

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VOTE For Your Favorite Blimpie FanMercial & You Can Win HUGE

blimpie fanmercail

It is not the VMA’s (which were horrific btw and make me a little concerned for our youth and the future of the music business). It is not the Emmy’s, which sadly I missed last night because I am doing big things here in the desert but, I do have a few super cute and short videos created by talented Blimpie Sub Shop fans that you need to watch! Plus, they need your vote – ASAP because the voting ends August 31st (you can vote daily). You know “Blimpie, America’s Sub Shop”? These Subs sandwiches that are super yum and… Continue Reading

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Win $150 from Target & Back To School Deals

win $150 target

School’s out for summer…… no more – SAD FACE But, back to school means we all get to go shopping even if we are not still in school because there are amazing deals out right now. I mean….check out my sidebar for offers from great brands that I don’t want you to miss. For example,  I just bought another one of my favorite tops from Fanatics. This one! So cute – LOVE IT! I bought 2 more because I always need Wildcat gear to sport while in my rivals territory of Phoenix, Arizona. You know those little Devils? I can… Continue Reading

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Run For Your Life: It’s A Singles Event

singles events and dating

Once upon a time there was a blonde, single girl who was a great catch but could not meet anyone normal so she decided to put on her big girl panties, black eyeliner, 6inch Louis Vuitton heels and try something new. Yes, the Louis may have been a little much for the 115 degree Arizona heat but she wanted to wear them so she did.  After getting lost in a second parking lot that week she arrives at her final destination, which is a group of young, active, singles looking to meet people just like them. And…. STOP right there…. Continue Reading

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Some Days Don’t You Just Ask Yourself “Why”?

dont you ask yourself why

……over and over? “I don’t get it”. I think I say that phrase more than any other phrase besides “I am tired”. Seriously, I am traveling through this world wondering why so many parents have dropped their children on their heads, more than once with, all the stupid shit I observe people doing on an hourly basis. They should provide gloves laced with glue for prevention of parental dropping of children once your babies are handed over from the Doctor. Why don’t people need to have licenses to have children? This is a great question. I just don’t get it…. Continue Reading

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Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

Get on the Good Foot by James Brown is my jam

I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is… Continue Reading

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I Got Social Last Night

#digeez

I went to my first Diamondbacks game last night courtesy of Cox Communication and CoxGiglife. I was invited by a person I follow on twitter and you know you are not in Los Angeles any more when you get invited to an event like that and they actually make it happen! It rocked but I have no more #hashtags to give for at least a few days.  Don’t quote me because that is a lie. Social Media events are always funny because everyone has to get their tweets or facebook posts in before everyone else. I am included in this… Continue Reading

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Win Up To $25,000 From Cars.com By Showing Your #newcarface

win up to $25,000 from cars.com #newcarface

When I was contacted to write this sponsored post for Cars.com it was a no brainer for me to oblige! I love cars and always have. It is safe to say, I am obsessed with fast sports, cars without a lid – you know? Convertibles! I am from California and don’t think I could be more of the cliché California girl driving my speedy racing car, top down, rock music cranked and hair blowing in the wind any more than I already am. ROCK ON! The faster the car and the louder the music – the happier I am! I remember this one test drive I went on with my father when we were looking at buying a new car and I will look back on that day fondly for the rest of my life. It helped that the person selling us the car used to race BMW M3’s in Germany. How do I know this? I know it because when my dad and I were looking at my prospective new car, he walked up and asked us “Who is first?” while strapping on his professional racing gloves to each hand and the look in his eyes told us he… Continue Reading

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Funny Sayings That Make You Go HUH? In The Night

funny old saying

I was sitting at a bar last night, drinking my goose and soda while Bret Michaels sang to me, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and I wondered what the hell is he talking about because roses have way more than just one thorn? The cliché sayings that sound beautiful screeched in a high pitch tone, out of longhaired rocker’s mouths don’t always make sense. Yet, we sing and say things like these all the time. We use weird sayings to make sense of situations when we don’t understand or can’t explain what the hell is going on in any other way. Old sayings have been around forever and still apply today because people are weird and do stupid shit. History repeats itself (and there is another one) but so do stupid people who do stupid things so these terms come in handy. Here are some sayings and the immediate random thoughts that populate in the squishy, overthinking, ADD and OCD thing between my ears. -Karma is a bitch! So am I. But, if she is such a bitch – where has she been hiding… Continue Reading

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Read These Tweets While You Sheet

snarky tweets

Twitter. You do it, get it, are addicted to it and prefer it to Facebook or you are scared of it because you don’t know “how” to tweet. For some reason, Twitter is like the Chupacabra of social media conquering. It is like an endless labyrinth and David Bowie may live there but I haven’t followed him yet. One of the most common questions people ask me is can I “teach” them how to tweet. Really? Do you have thoughts in your brain? Good. Then, sit down, sign up and tweet whatever is in your head. Find things you like… Continue Reading

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Got Wrinkles? Win $290 of Nerium AD Face & Body Firm Cream

WIn Nerium AD

Got wrinkles? There is an app for that and Melanysguydlines has an exclusive opportunity for you to get rid of your wrinkles without sticking needles in your face. People always card me and I tell them to limit their botox consumption because too much of anything is not a good look. Talking to you Mr. Manilow and Mrs. Kidman. But, after my moving ordeal with Jiminy, I felt like I was looking a little “worked” and worn out. My friend told me about this cream she was using on her face to reduce wrinkles, fine lines, redness and sent me… Continue Reading

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