Top

Subscribe!

snarky

What Women Really Think While Swiping “No” On A Dating Profile: Just My POV

What Women Really Think While Swiping “No” On A Dating Profile: Just My POV

All dating apps are basically the same. Tinder, bumble, hinge, binge, bulge, whatever.. blah blah blah. Online dating sucks. Online shopping sucks. How many times do you order something online and it is nothing like its description and picture? Samesy-s but at least when I shop online, I receive the package and if I don’t like it, I send it back right away. I don’t have to waste time on pointless “getting-to-know-you-texts” (because no one ever calls anymore). I don’t have to do my hair, apply make-up, and meet at a random place for the obligatory 2 drinks when I… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6

Happy Holidays and Pawlidays 2022 from MelanysGuydlines and Teddy Brewski

Happy Holidays and Pawlidays 2022 from MelanysGuydlines and Teddy Brewski

I wanted to take a moment and wish each and every single one of you a very happy and healthy holiday season! Cheers to a better 2023 for us all. I know I am looking forward to a better year ahead full of snark and happiness. Also, I wanted to take a moment and thank you all for supporting MelanysGuydlines through the years. It is always fun to read all of your comments and interact with you here and on social media. A special thank you to all of my new and seasoned followers on Facebook and Twitter who have… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 2

37 Things I’m Not Obsessed With in 2022

I have always marched to the beat of my own drum and never felt the need to be like everyone else. I am an independent thinker, but lately feel like an alien while navigating the outside world and scrolling through social media. The pandemic lockdown was rough, and people had issues before, but Covid exacerbated them. I feel like I can’t relate to people on any level. When did some of this behavior become the norm?   I have so many questions and observations (and can’t wrap my head around a lot of things), so I am just going to… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 19

Featured Trendsetter To Know By AZ Foothills Magazine: Melany Berger

Featured Trendsetter To Know By AZ Foothills Magazine: Melany Berger

I’m excited to share that Arizona Foothills Magazine asked to feature me as a leader and “trendsetter to know” in their online publication! Thank you! *Dior Horns* They interviewed me and requested to “be as creative, as informative, as tongue-in-cheek you want to be.” Take notes friends. This is an entertaining read if I do say so myself! I brought the snark for you. Take it away….. Name: Melany Berger… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 15

Puppies Make Me Happy: Meet Mr. December aka Teddy Brewski

The Snuggle Is Real! Puppies make me very happy but so does that fact that YOU voted for my puppy, Teddy Brewski to be in the 2020 Puppies Make Me Happy Calendar. He is Mr. December and his caption reads “The Snuggle is Real” and fits him to a tee. We have had a ruff 2019 but the fact that over 600 votes were counted from YOU (real people with a pulse) for the snarkiest Havanese, makes this New Year much sweeter. Teddy Brewski and I wish all of you a fabulous 2020. May this be the best year yet!… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Put That Phone Down!!!

Nothing like deleting 7,500 of 44,572 photos for 2 hours from my phone to realize: 1. How many selfies it takes to get a sharable melfie. What a waste of time. 2. How many dumb asses I have dated. All of them…. but it’s a learning experience, right? 3. How many “emotional vampires” I have known, dumped and how many I still need to get rid of (Thanks Steph for the perfect term). Cleaning house feels so good. 4. How bad shopping is online and that nothing ever looks the same once you order and try it on at home…. Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

My Havanese Dog Vs. Owl Scarecrow

Havanese Dog Vs. Owl Scarecrow

HOO HOO HOO Hello. Is this thing on? It has been a little while and I am squeezing in this post in the middle of the most chaotic 6 months of my life because I have to share. As most of you know, Teddy Brewski (my Havanese) and I live in Arizona. He is never without me on the other end of a leash outside. Who is walking whom, is debatable but that is beside the point. Anyway, there are so many wild animals in Phoenix and I have named them all in hopes that they will play nicely but… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 14

Life Isn’t Always A Beach

1. Don’t judge someone’s life by what you see online – it is just a sizzle real 2. Don’t DM me if you want a response in near future or ever. Text me. 3. If you disappear or I cut you out- don’t try to come back. I don’t do reunion tours 4. If you reach out to me, begin with common courtesy aka manners like… “how are you” before asking me for something and if I have to tell you this the answer is always “no” !!!! 5. Think before you speak, act or react. Please. Actually just THINK… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6

New Years Resolutions Are Lame: Snarky Guydlines Are Forever 2019

As I sit here on the eve of 2019, I take time to review my past New Years Eve posts full “guydlines-isms” and it is not surprising that I agree with 100% of what I have had to say in the past. I told you many times I am smarter than I look. Right? This year is no different.  It is time for us to ring in another year and I am very excited and optimistic for 2019 because it has to be better than 2018 and hope that I don’t repeat mistakes of the past. Like I always say,… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

I Am Most Thankful For…..REMIX Thanksgiving 2018

Happy Thanksgiving! This post is a classic remix from when I first started this blog in 2012! It gave me a LOL! Feel free to add to it in the comments. I am THANKFUL for: Being raised by the 2 most amazing people who have been supportive through all my 9 lives and taught me never to be scared of my own shadow. Being blessed to have had a sister that I shared everything with and knowing that she is watching over me every day. Having the strength to kick ass literally and figuratively. Puppies. All of them, especially Teddy… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 2