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Got Wrinkles? Win $290 of Nerium AD Face & Body Firm Cream

WIn Nerium AD

Got wrinkles? There is an app for that and Melanysguydlines has an exclusive opportunity for you to get rid of your wrinkles without sticking needles in your face. People always card me and I tell them to limit their botox consumption because too much of anything is not a good look. Talking to you Mr. Manilow and Mrs. Kidman. But, after my moving ordeal with Jiminy, I felt like I was looking a little “worked” and worn out. My friend told me about this cream she was using on her face to reduce wrinkles, fine lines, redness and sent me… Continue Reading

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Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

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19 Things That Make Moving Worse Than It Already Is

19 things that make moving suck

It is 4:45 AM and I am writing to you from my mass exodus from a place called Cricketville. I have been there and none of you need to go there. Take my word for it. I have experience with creepy crawlies and in the past week I felt them crawling all over. You know? That horrible feeling you have when you can’t decide where to itch first because “something” is crawling ALL OVER YOUR BODY and won’t go away. Not to worry! I have found my salvation in a hotel called the Valley Ho until I can be safely… Continue Reading

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10 Snarky Rules for Dating My Owner: Woofed by Teddy Brewski

dating tips

Happy day after the 4th of July aka July 5, 2014. I am writing to you from HOT Arizona and was supposed to be unpacking these past few days but my AC is non operable, neither toilets are working and I had more than enough creepy crawlies in my place that I had to check into a hotel. There is more to this story and is a contender for the Greatest Hits section but I wanted to post something super cute today. While I am in the process of shuffling clothes, shoes and purses from one area code to another,… Continue Reading

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Top 9 Snarky Tweets, Social Media Funnies & Guydline “Get Lucky” # 69

Funny and snarky

Time flies! Welcome to Guydline post #69 -lets hope this is a lucky number for us all!  Seriously, it feels like I just pulled into Scottsdale, Arizona and I am leaving tomorrow to drive back to LA. These past 5 days flew by but not to worry because I will be back soon-really soon. I am going to change things up a little and get rid of all that trash I told you all about in my B-day post. Happy to share that I am keeping my Birthday present to myself and it will be the BEST present ever. Since… Continue Reading

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Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

People always ask me how I decide what to write in my blog posts. It is sad to say but there is no lack of bad dating or “frienemy” stories of the past, present, (and am sure the future -at the rate I am going). All I really need to do is look in my backyard at this crazy world to start typing away on my laptop. If I could have a podcast recording device attached to my brain of what I really think in daily life navigating the over-packed and even bumpier roads on the way to my office… Continue Reading

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Relationship Status: Viva La “Rock N’ Roll” Vegas

I just got back from Las Vegas and my Birthday is tomorrow so I thought I would do a review in pics and video for you snarky people. Isn’t it so much fun to view the madness in living color? Here goes. The first night in Las Vegas, I went Beacher’s Madhouse at the MGM with a friend who lives in Sin City. Please note, that she has a little bit of a fear (not of clowns) but of little people. I’ll let the pics do the talking! I recommend going to this club, which is super popular with celebs,… Continue Reading

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Win $300 of Art from UGallery – Your Choice!

U Gallery

HI! Happy one week before my B’day….and I am off to Las Vegas.  I am packed. If I don’t have it  – I will buy it. But, before I leave I have more gifts for all of you! I wouldn’t leave the snarky people without something fun to chew on for the weekend. You know me better than that! I promised you something different last week and I am here to deliver the good news! Remember that cool site UGallery I introduced you to a few posts back? Well, Melanysguydlines and UGallery are bringing you a special chance to win… Continue Reading

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Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

Since I did win in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category yesterday I thought I would share with you a funny ditty. Here goes…. You know how bad and non-existent dating is in the city of angels because I have told you over and over again. So, why not import someone? I did just that with my last tour mate. He hailed from the desert and we had known each other for quite sometime so I thought that this could be a real keeper until our last rendez vous ended in disaster somewhere between the Boulevard of Broken Dreams and… Continue Reading

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The Movie Network: Dedicated To You!

The Movie Network - Neighbors

I do live in LALAland aka Hollywood and everyone here wants to be a star. I meet Writers, Directors, Producers, Actresses, Actors and the combination of all of the above on a daily basis. I hear about so many movies and never really know what is good or bad until I actually see the film. With the advent of social media influencers holding the key to introducing audiences to exciting and great new brands I am happy to introduce you to The Movie Network. The Movie Network is not your average Fandago – type website. You can find local movie… Continue Reading

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Win Total $325 from Tego Audio: Wireless Speaker + Power Grid for 3 Winners

Tego audio

Happy almost Memorial Day weekend and the official kick off to summer 2014! I am not sure if my last trip out of town fried my brain from staring at slot machines too long but I thought we still had one more week until my fav BBQ weekend. Well, we don’t and it is here. I better go get my chicken from Costco before they run out. Seriously, I literally just got back from Las Vegas and am leaving my clean clothes and accessories in my suitcase since I will be right back on a plane to rock out to… Continue Reading

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Billboard Music Awards 2014: What Music?

Well, that wraps up another Billboard Music Awards show in Las Vegas for moi and the final one I attend until Metallica, Godsmack, Shinedown, KORN, Soundgarden, Staind, Drowning Pool, Black Sabbath, Dokken, Disturbed, Ratt, Guns N Roses, Tesla, Otherwise, Def Leppard, Aerosmith, Sevendust, Scorpions, ACDC, Van Halen, Motley Crue (just to name just a few) are all in the same room rocking out and receiving REAL music awards. Coming from a music business background and working with real rock groups, it disappoints me the lack of rock and good music out there for young people to digest! I mean I… Continue Reading

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