Top 9 Snarky Tweets, Social Media Funnies & Guydline “Get Lucky” # 69

Time flies! Welcome to Guydline post #69 -lets hope this is a lucky number for us all!  Seriously, it feels like I just pulled into Scottsdale, Arizona and I am leaving tomorrow to drive back to LA. These past 5 days flew by but not to worry because I will be back soon-really soon. I am going to change things up a little and get rid of all that trash I told you all about in my B-day post. Happy to share that I am keeping my Birthday present to myself and it will be the BEST present ever.

Since I am here one more day, I would like to go outside again. But, I did not want to let you snarky people down. The subject of this post is a best of twitter collection. Here are some of my most snarky and best tweets. People ask me how to use twitter all the time and I can’t magically bless you with a way with words but I can help. If you need me – I am here, just ask.

So, before it hits 110 degrees outside and I melt, you will have to settle for reading some of my most classic one liners here and follow me there – would ya?

your face is fine but you’ll have to put a bag over that personality

— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) June 9, 2013

My dog winked at me. I winked back. Does that mean I can change my relationship status? — MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) January 14, 2014

Sorry guy! You are not that cute and i am not that drunk

— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) January 9, 2014

Thank god for twitter because i never eat alone even when I am alone — MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) January 8, 2014

If you get a courtesy follow up call do you have to call back out of courtesy

— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) June 18, 2014

I am going to whine about not having any wine — MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) January 16, 2014

Your selfie is ugly. Don’t do that anymore.

— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) February 20, 2014

I am totally over all of my excuses — MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) June 18, 2014

And MELANYSGUYDLINES #69 IS…..

Is you are not happy in your life move and change it. You are not a tree.

— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) June 18, 2014

(*Is was supposed to be “If” but I can’t change a tweet once there is a typo. I have a tweet about that too! LOL)

……..and I follow all my GUYDLINES and so should you.

Also, I don’t think I mentioned it here but I am on Instagram now! People wanted to see more of my daily adventures so I thought I would start using that account more. Do you follow me? I follow back! I still don’t post pics of food and no skinny wraps images for me. It seems like those types of pics take up a lot of real estate on IG but you would find that on MelanyGuydlines! I promise. If you do, I will make this face! BOO!

Like wait – what?

You can even see Mini Melanysguydlines

and Little Teddy Brewksi who always steals the show and gets more likes than me! I’m not mad. Just look at him!

Catch what animated action I choose while reading my online dating profile emails.

This one is just down right gorgeous – Thanks MOM & DAD!

This one is not so pretty but one of the FUNNIEST things I have ever seen!

And you may even recognize a few of my funny “famous” friends along the way in my crazy Hollywood life!

While you are at it – check out my kick ass Pinterest display just down and a little to the right on the blog? It is dope and I am going to have to admit that Pinterest is growing on me. It is full of funny things – if you don’t believe me LOOK!

**Stay snarky my friends!**