Top

Subscribe!

dating

Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

By on September 2, 2014 in Relationships
Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

Social Media rocks and advances in technology are cool but it is killing my dating life. I can’t remember the last time a guy actually picked up the phone and called me. Also, what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL.  what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. Click To Tweet If we have been talking via the computer or some other typing device I want to meet before Teddy Brewski… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 24

Guydlines for a Fun Labor Day Weekend

By on August 29, 2014 in Snarky
labor day fun

For most of you, it is a long weekend. For social media people, it is never a weekend. Social Media never sleeps and as you all know – neither do I. But, I am promising myself that this weekend will be different. I am a liar. But, I am going to TRY really hard. You read it here first and I hate to let you down. At least I am tired this time from doing so many new things. I am “re-tired” after looking at all the pics I wanted to include in this post so let me try and… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Run For Your Life: It’s A Singles Event

By on August 19, 2014 in Relationships
singles events and dating

Once upon a time there was a blonde, single girl who was a great catch but could not meet anyone normal so she decided to put on her big girl panties, black eyeliner, 6inch Louis Vuitton heels and try something new. Yes, the Louis may have been a little much for the 115 degree Arizona heat but she wanted to wear them so she did.  After getting lost in a second parking lot that week she arrives at her final destination, which is a group of young, active, singles looking to meet people just like them. And…. STOP right there…. Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

By on August 11, 2014 in Snarky
Get on the Good Foot by James Brown is my jam

I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6

Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

By on July 21, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 26

Pepper Spray, My New Accessory: As Seen On The Steve Harvey Show

By on July 10, 2014 in Goodies
pepper spray accessories

It is no secret that I deal with creeps on a daily basis. I had enough of the guys who “drive their rent” in LA and decided to relocate to the dessert in the middle of the summer for a little while. Yes, I know it is 115 degrees and hot but I love it here. I am a Wildcat for life and Arizona holds a special place in my heart for so many reasons. This time around, I am in Scottsdale checking things (and MEN) out to see if I like it. So far, I love Arizona and the… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

10 Snarky Rules for Dating My Owner: Woofed by Teddy Brewski

By on July 5, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
dating tips

Happy day after the 4th of July aka July 5, 2014. I am writing to you from HOT Arizona and was supposed to be unpacking these past few days but my AC is non operable, neither toilets are working and I had more than enough creepy crawlies in my place that I had to check into a hotel. There is more to this story and is a contender for the Greatest Hits section but I wanted to post something super cute today. While I am in the process of shuffling clothes, shoes and purses from one area code to another,… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 10

41 Things Before The Alarm Rings

By on June 26, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

I am up but the rest of my body is sleeping. You know when you get up and you should go back to bed but you don’t because you have 41 things on your mind for the day? Yeah – that’s me every day! I never said these things were important to everyone – don’t judge, or do, because we all do. This was written at 6:00AM so here is a little peak into my early morning mind for the day….. 1. Get up before the dog. If Teddy Brewski hears me walking around before 7AM I will never get… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 16

Top 9 Snarky Tweets, Social Media Funnies & Guydline “Get Lucky” # 69

By on June 23, 2014 in Snarky
Funny and snarky

Time flies! Welcome to Guydline post #69 -lets hope this is a lucky number for us all!  Seriously, it feels like I just pulled into Scottsdale, Arizona and I am leaving tomorrow to drive back to LA. These past 5 days flew by but not to worry because I will be back soon-really soon. I am going to change things up a little and get rid of all that trash I told you all about in my B-day post. Happy to share that I am keeping my Birthday present to myself and it will be the BEST present ever. Since… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

By on June 17, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

People always ask me how I decide what to write in my blog posts. It is sad to say but there is no lack of bad dating or “frienemy” stories of the past, present, (and am sure the future -at the rate I am going). All I really need to do is look in my backyard at this crazy world to start typing away on my laptop. If I could have a podcast recording device attached to my brain of what I really think in daily life navigating the over-packed and even bumpier roads on the way to my office… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 33

My Birthday Date: A Little Ass

By on June 12, 2014 in Snarky
Melanysguydlines gets some ass for birthday

It is 7:45PM on my 30ish ish ish Birthday. YEAH ME!  It has not been as snarky as I would have hoped because I am feeling a little under the weather. I am totally sure it has nothing to do with the Madness that ensued in Las Vegas in my last post?? Right? Read it. It’s funny and entertaining.   I did want to say a big “THANK YOU” to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday today and the entire week before! One of my bff’s said she was wondering if she lost her mind when people started wishing… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Relationship Status: Viva La “Rock N’ Roll” Vegas

By on June 11, 2014 in Snarky

I just got back from Las Vegas and my Birthday is tomorrow so I thought I would do a review in pics and video for you snarky people. Isn’t it so much fun to view the madness in living color? Here goes. The first night in Las Vegas, I went Beacher’s Madhouse at the MGM with a friend who lives in Sin City. Please note, that she has a little bit of a fear (not of clowns) but of little people. I’ll let the pics do the talking! I recommend going to this club, which is super popular with celebs,… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 20