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Libby D

You Can’t Wash This Potty Mouth Out With Soap

By on June 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

It’s 3 AM.  You’re tired, you’re groggy, and it feels like someone is hammering an ice pick into your bladder.  You stumble out of the comfort of your bed, wandering your hallway like zombie on Walking Dead.  You find the bathroom and find that familiar feel of cold porcelain against your derrière.  Then you drop, what feels like 20 feet, because someone left the seat up.  You’re lucky you’re over a toilet because your built in sprinkler system might have gone off.  The truth is, stories like this occur everyday.  And those suffering PTTE, post-traumatic toilet experience, are wondering if… Continue Reading

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Snarky thank you to you snarky bitches!

By on June 17, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

Well, I made it through another birthday celebration with only 1 more wrinkle, right? Life has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not sure which out of my 9 lives I am on, but they are getting more entertaining each and every day. Thank you again for all the love and snarky support for my blog! You all rock! I know that I have a lot of pics of Mel G on here so I thought I would invite you to see some actual photos of my friends and moi. Oh, and some kick ass shoes too…. Continue Reading

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Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

By on May 23, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy.  DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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An Ode to the Intern : Libby Graduates!

By on May 11, 2013 in LOL, Snarky

This weekend while you sit at your local dive and try to make sex eyes at the only person in the room that’s remotely passable, our intern Libby will be donning the cap and gown on the big stage at Loyola Marymount University.  A momentous occasion for any young adult.  Take for instance this tasteful tweet from yours truly on the day of my graduation. (Cover your eyes Melany’s Mom) Purdue commencement : Why the fuck didn't any of you tell me to skip this? — Matthew Shawn Bailey (@SonofHilljack) August 4, 2012 Forewarning Libby, everything changes when you step… Continue Reading

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One hit wonder- Dummy Wins Rasta Banana

By on May 9, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

To most of you, Henry Gribbohm, is not a household name.  But this week’s One Hit Wonder spent his entire lifesavings; all $2,600 of it on a game call “Tubs of Fun”.  Gribbohm, was trying to win an X-box Kinect, but what this dummy didn’t realize was that he could have bought about 13 Kinects with his so called life savings.  Now all this poor soul has to show is a banana with dreadlocks that he seems to take better care of than this 2 year old. I’m trying to figure out what everyone else here is thinking, how does… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for Coachella… How avoid Looking Like a Stupid White Boy

By on April 24, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Amongst a sea of Urban Outfitters and white kids dressed as Indians was the world’s largest music festival.  Hosting over 80,000 people and bands most of us have never heard of, we decided Coachella goers needed a few guydlines to help them survive the weekend. Coachella Guydline #1: Go with an open mind, but please, beware of any guy who wants to show you his “wand”. Coachella Guydline #2: Find sensible shoes, you might step on acid and wake up 5 days later in the middle of the desert wondering what the hell happened to you. Coachella Guydline #3: Opt… Continue Reading

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Oops I did it again…via text

By on April 10, 2013 in Relationships

Drunk dialing is never a good thing for dating or in any situation, no exceptions. I’m still waiting for some 15-year old computer super genius to create the “Breathalyzer app” that only allows me (and the rest of the 20 something population) the privilege of operating my iPhone only if I blow within the legal limit.  I am a firm believer that if I cannot legally drive a car, I should not be legally allowed to call or text anyone. While a late night drive-through or the DiGiorno in my freezer usually consumes my thoughts as my friends and I… Continue Reading

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MG’s house of snark: Welcomes intern Libby D

By on April 7, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Intern for Melanysguydlines

I am so proud to tell you all that the Melanysguydlines.com family is growing in leaps and bounds. Since I only lasted in my sorority for a week (because I didn’t care what way food needed to be passed around a table and was a horrible follower) it is only fitting that I have a pledge in the MG house. I am going to rush her like she should be rushed and groom her to be the best MG mini me ever! We hope that she can stay a while but are happy to have her for as long as… Continue Reading

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