humor

Win Official Lucky Star from International Star Registry ® : 2 Winners, $110 Value

By Melany on November 19, 2014 in Goodies

win or buy a star from the International star registry

It is that time of year where we are all scrambling to find the perfect gift. Of course, you could buy someone flowers or give them chocolate but why not go to the extra mile? Like all the way to the Cosmos in our galaxy better known as the Milky Way. I mean – how cool is that? Did you know that you could officially name a star? The International Star Registry ® can make this dream come true for you. All I had to do when naming my star was decide on the name. This could be anyone –… Continue Reading

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Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

By Melany on November 5, 2014 in Snarky

Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By Melany on October 31, 2014 in Snarky

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter. Now, it is… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

By Melany on October 25, 2014 in Snarky

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

By Melany on October 22, 2014 in Snarky

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

By Melany on October 14, 2014 in Snarky

Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

By Melany on October 9, 2014 in Snarky

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Win A Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps

By Melany on October 6, 2014 in Goodies

Ella…Ella…Ella…..Read this entire post to find out how you can win one of the coolest contests yet! Yes. How amazing is this? Can you believe that I worked in the music business for ten years and never went to a Coachella Festival! What is wrong with me? Can you say workaholic? And now….I have a chance to offer you guys the opportunity to go! Let me explain the Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps to you. REWIND. So, last month, Lenovo and Microsoft teamed up with Timbaland (love and yes I am a rocker but love him) to create… Continue Reading

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Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

By Melany on October 1, 2014 in Goodies

You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both… Continue Reading

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I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too!

By Melany on September 30, 2014 in Goodies

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Purina® for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. I’m Taking the Paws4Life Pledge a happy pet is a healthy pet from Purina® & Sam’s Club & You Should Too! Come on! It is easy! Well, we all know that Teddy Brewski is my main dog man. I was so happy to pick him up yesterday as I have been traveling so much lately and he has been staying with my favorite dog trainers at Partner Dog Training in Cave Creek, Az. I highly recommend them, though I think he… Continue Reading

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MelanysGuydlines iPhone6 Case & My Own Store On Zazzle

By Melany on September 30, 2014 in Goodies

We have a winner of the Zazzle contest for the iPhone6 case! Congratulations to Karen who told me that she unselfishly and wonderfully is going to gift the case to a friend going through a hard time right now! I think that rocks. Enjoy and keep up that spirit. I wish I had more friends like you. Guess what she is going to put on her friend’s case? She is going to put a picture of her friend’s Pug. Pugs rock! What would you put on your case? I love all of the suggestions on how to customize the iPhone6… Continue Reading

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How Snarky Are You? Quiz

By Melany on September 24, 2014 in Snarky

Take this quiz I created with the help of Riddle App and tell me – How snarky are you? Take this quiz I created with Riddle App & tell me – How snarky are you? Click To Tweet Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit of snarky in him or her. Put your personality to the test. We will break down your inner snark and let you know where you reside in Snarkland! That may even be too much mention of the “S” word for me. Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit… Continue Reading

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