Relationships

10 Snarky Rules for Dating My Owner: Woofed by Teddy Brewski

By Melany on July 5, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy day after the 4th of July aka July 5, 2014. I am writing to you from HOT Arizona and was supposed to be unpacking these past few days but my AC is non operable, neither toilets are working and I had more than enough creepy crawlies in my place that I had to check into a hotel. There is more to this story and is a contender for the Greatest Hits section but I wanted to post something super cute today. While I am in the process of shuffling clothes, shoes and purses from one area code to another,… Continue Reading

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Calling ALL Psycho Friend/Frienemy stories for new video series!

By Melany on June 30, 2014 in Relationships

Calling all psycho friends stories!!!! You know that friend or frienemy? We all have one person that went cray-cray on us a time or two or three (and for some of us lucky people even more than that). I want you to tell me your story about a friend who turned crazy because I am filming a series with fellow humor blogger and twitter celeb- D.J. Paris of Thoughts From Paris. We have been discussing how we can meld our funnies together for a long time now and one of the first “thoughts” we had were “guydlines” for dealing with… Continue Reading

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Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

By Melany on June 17, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

People always ask me how I decide what to write in my blog posts. It is sad to say but there is no lack of bad dating or “frienemy” stories of the past, present, (and am sure the future -at the rate I am going). All I really need to do is look in my backyard at this crazy world to start typing away on my laptop. If I could have a podcast recording device attached to my brain of what I really think in daily life navigating the over-packed and even bumpier roads on the way to my office… Continue Reading

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Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

By Melany on June 3, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Since I did win in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category yesterday I thought I would share with you a funny ditty. Here goes…. You know how bad and non-existent dating is in the city of angels because I have told you over and over again. So, why not import someone? I did just that with my last tour mate. He hailed from the desert and we had known each other for quite sometime so I thought that this could be a real keeper until our last rendez vous ended in disaster somewhere between the Boulevard of Broken Dreams and… Continue Reading

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Bad Ass Blog Award – Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

By Melany on June 2, 2014 in Relationships

Happy Birthday to me 10 days early! MelanysGuydlines was nominated and won The 2014 Badass Blog Award in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category! Thank you to all that read, support and voted for me. I really appreciate it and happy that my hard work is being recognized on such an awesome platform. It is even sweeter to know that I was voted on by peers and fans alike with thousands of nominations flooding the Indie Chicks website. Here is my badge! I am going to sport this loud and proud. Wouldn’t you? It was a good race… Continue Reading

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Memorial Day 2014

By Melany on May 26, 2014 in Relationships

Memorial Day 2014. Remember that today is about more than BBQ’s and pool parties. Today is a day to remember and thank all of those who have served and continue to serve the United States of America. I am grateful everyday to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. So, if you know someone that served or is currently serving to provide you with all of the freedom we sometimes take for granted – remember, a thank you goes a long way! Enjoy the rest of this holiday and be safe out there while… Continue Reading

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Happy Mothers Day!

By Melany on May 10, 2014 in Relationships

Happy Mothers Day! It is Mother’s Day weekend and I hit the jackpot in the Mom drawing! I am lucky to call my mother more than mom….she is my best friend. So, to my mom and the moms who read this blog, I want to wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day filled with family, laughter, and love. I would never be able to do this crazy social media thing without my mom. She is my #1 fan, editor, and most loyal supporter. Plus, she takes one for the team and responds to my online dating profile nightmare emails. She… Continue Reading

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Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth Part 2

By Melany on May 5, 2014 in Relationships

And without further ado…..PART 2 to Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth. If you did not read PART 1 – you should! 4. Manners/Doesn’t Know Shit/Full of Shit -She thinks that if she is indecisive and acts like she doesn’t know what to order while at dinner that it makes her date feel more like a man and being courteous to his wallet. Unfortunately, the only thing this does is annoy him and makes him want to jump out the nearest window (which is nearby their “best” table he has so cleverly arranged with the host while being early)…. Continue Reading

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Getting a Second Date: The Real Truth

By Melany on April 28, 2014 in Relationships

So, you want to know how to get a second date? Before you can “want” a second date you need to successfully survive and impress on the first one, right? I am willing to bet that no one willingly goes out on first dates just to go on one date. First dates are awkward no matter how drunk you get (and that could lead to a more awkward second date but that is a different post). They are by far one of the most uncomfortable situations so it is fair to assume most of us go on a first… Continue Reading

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Online Dating Nightmare #1,199

By Melany on April 21, 2014 in Relationships

Hope you all had more fun than I did yesterday. As some of you know, a virus has totally infected AOL in their server. Before, you make some smart-ass comment let me say that I have had AOL since I was 15. It was “MelB” but I hated the spice girls so that was not the premise behind the username. Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you change passwords and keep up to date with old emails or accounts on websites. For the average person, this is annoying. For me it is a nightmare! Obviously, working in social media means I have… Continue Reading

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When Animals Attack: Dating Interference

By Melany on February 19, 2014 in Relationships

The Shorty Awards nominations are over and I hope I did not miss the honor by one spot. I will be ok with it (I will not, but my vodka is chilling and ready for consumption at 4:59PM to soothe my soul -just in case). Stay tuned as they are calculating right NOW! If I did not win, I am convinced outside forces in which I had no control over affected the outcome. Animals. You know? When animals attack? In the past week, I had interference from all of the following “animals”, which prevented proper promoting, blogging, (and successful… Continue Reading

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