Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines

Sin City: Best Massage Nuts and Basketballs

By Melany on March 12, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com about the upcoming Pac 12 tournament in Las Vegas this week. I have a lot of readers that attended Pac 12 schools, are fellow Arizona Wildcats fans, or just love to eat, drink, party and be entertained in Las Vegas (shocker). Anyone going? I would be there but I am still trying to put my brain back in my head from my trip to Austin, Texas for the SXSW conference (yeah, not sure why they call it a conference because the only work I got done was trying to see how… Continue Reading

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Beware of dumb people bleach: It is bad for my health

By Melany on March 6, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Here is a little story I could not resist telling you. Today, I went and got my hair done at a salon in Beverly Hills and overheard a conversation that solidifies the need to have a dumb person category on the blog. There are just way too many dumb people in this world and I seem to attract all of them! The bright side of being a dumb person flytrap is that all of the dumb people offer me great funny dumb people stories for all of you to enjoy. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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You’re wearing THAT to watch the game?

By Dixon Richard on March 5, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

I like to think of myself as a real man – I drink beer, watch my fair share of sports and I can actually grow a beard.

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Dixon’s dating and dining desires

By Dixon Richard on March 1, 2013 in Relationships

Once I’m in a committed relationship with a beautiful woman (or at least committed to spending time trying to get her in the sack), I love bringing food into the mix. I’m not talking about food entering the boudoir unless it’s room service after a 24-hour Vegas bender – I’m talking about dinner dates.

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American Idol: Nicki Minaj or Fran Drescher’s “The Nanny”

By Melany on March 1, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

Nicki Minaj - not as a good of a rapper as the tootsie roll wrapper

I can barely watch American Idol this year. Just listening to Nikki Minaj’s voice makes me want to jump out my window. The show with Fran Drescher, The Nanny– yeah, that is what Nikki sounds like. Since when does she have the proper credentials to judge someone on their singing voice when she can’t sing (or speak in a somewhat tolerable voice?) One hit wonder is more like it! She should stick to creating edible hair and using Crayolas to draw on her face. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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In Defense of Dick Pics: A Guy’s Perspective

By Dixon Richard on March 1, 2013 in Relationships

The world of online dating is a tricky one. And if the Manti Te’o story and other “Catfishing” tales have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t trust everything on the internet. Who’s to say who (or what) is on the other end of that phone or computer. This is why I send girls dick pics.

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Dixon Richard From a guy’s perspective for the “guy’d”lines. Our “guy’d” blogger

By Melany on February 28, 2013 in Relationships

Meet Dixon Richard – Our “guy’d” blogger Dixon Richard is a 34-year old, single man, based in Chicago. He is originally from Brooklyn and has not lost his edge from moving to the Midwest. When not checking out the local music scene for up and coming acts, he enjoys spending time with his pup GG (Grey Goose abbreviated – good man). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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One Hit Wonder Rihanna: Former musician, queen of shitty Instagram and slutty runway shows

By Melany on February 24, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

Close your eyes and try to remember the first time you heard Rihanna and didn’t get her confused with some cookie-cutter American transplant pop stars (whether or not you have working ears and a halfway decent taste in music is beside the point, but I will judge you regardless). **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Melanysguydlines 2.0 Oscar Style -All snark, all true. One hit wonder too!

By Melany on February 24, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

You all already know me from melanysguydlines.com but I thought it was about time that I step out from behind my avatar’s shadow and introduce the REAL Mel G and Teddy B. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Hall of Shame-Dating Story #1

By Melany on February 23, 2013 in Relationships

A little follow up to my last post about Valentines Day possibly being the worst dating holiday of the year (promise not to discuss this for another year). Of course, me being ME – I did receive a weird pre-Valentine message from some dumb guy that would not stop texting me from the moment I (accidently) gave him my number (months ago). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Money Date in Vegas – Valentines Day

By Melany on February 13, 2013 in Relationships

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com. Now, these are what I call great Valentines Dates! HELLO – YOU! Are you ready to be my Valentine this year? Come on! I don’t always bite (only unless you ask). These dates will get you where you want to go. Trust me and take notes! I am accepting applications now. GO! (Hopefully it will not take me that long to get a GREAT date). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Golf: the George Clooney of sports events

By Melany on February 11, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

Yes! Golf: the George Clooney of sports events. You know? Gets better with age. Now you try? Anyway, I wanted to post this a long time ago! Since most of you know, some dumbass decided to hack the site and has thrown everything off a bit. It went a little something like this…. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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