Here is a little story I could not resist telling you. Today, I went and got my hair done at a salon in Beverly Hills and overheard a conversation that solidifies the need to have a dumb person category on the blog. There are just way too many dumb people in this world and I seem to attract all of them! The bright side of being a dumb person flytrap is that all of the dumb people offer me great funny dumb people stories for all of you to enjoy.
Sure, you are thinking a salon in Beverly Hills is very chique and trendy. You are correct. There are always great looking people and my hairdresser will tell you that they are in the “beauty business” not the “ugly business” and everyone should dress for the occasion. I agree with him. I always think it is weird when there is a hair dresser with purple hair, wearing eyeliner that looks like he walked out of a hair band magazine from 1986 (though I LOVE my black eyeliner), and an outfit that consists of fabrics and patterns only suited for a grandmothers couch. You know? You have seen it before. I always cringe when I see the women at the Mac makeup counter who look like a 5 year old took finger paint and drew all over her face doing a makeover on a woman who does not know any better. I just want to yell at that poor, obviously oblivious woman to get up and run far, far away! Logic says that if your “beauty advisor” whether it be for hair, makeup or clothing looks like she belongs on the fashion police is clearly not suited or qualified to make you look better. Right?
Anyway, as I am sitting with 50 tin foils in my hair and look as if I am going to get some signals from outerspace, I overhear a conversation that is worthy of a mention here at melanysguydlines.com. A very attractive, thin woman is getting the bleach in her hair washed out by not one, but two hair washers at the sink. She is having a conversation with a man while getting pampered and notices the receptionist walking by. She asks the woman how her kids are and why she is not selling girl scout cookies. The receptionist politely tells her that she has boys. Fair enough. But, the woman asking the question clearly had some of the bleach seep into her little brain before she asks the woman “don’t boys sell girl scout cookies too?” The receptionist was taken aback and explains in her most polite (non condescending voice) “they are GIRL scout cookies” and no. Instead of being embarrassed by this (obvious) mistake the bleached woman tells the receptionist that “boys should sell girl scout cookies” and explains that girl scouts are dumb because there are no boys allowed in the organization. It took every ounce of restraint for me not to go over and remove the bleach from her head and request that she never birth offspring because we can’t afford another dumb person like her in the world.
Melany’s Guydlines #37– Be careful of bleach because it can be hazardous to your mental health and result in stupidity. Request non-dumb people bleach where it is available.
**Stay snarky my friends!**