Melany's Posts

Thanksgiving 2013 – Thanks & almost full

So, it is time for me to write another Thanksgiving post. I can’t believe that I have been writing this blog long enough and with success to be able to do another installment of “What I am thankful for….” 2014 installment. I wish I could say this year has been easy but it has not. I work my ass off everyday on this entertainment thing and am so proud of what I have accomplished. I wish more people would actively support! Every bit helps. Yeah – I am talking to you and YOU! So, like, thumbs up, share, subscribe, and… Continue Reading

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Oh baby? What is that shit?

Last week was so hectic that I forgot to write a blog post with my latest YouTube video!! I am falling down on the job but I guess during this time of thanks I am thankful that I can’t get fired. If I fired myself, that would be no fun. So, while I am trying to put together the “What I am thankful for this year” post I will present you with this video which makes me laugh every time I watch it. At least, I know I can make myself laugh. In the video you will find my recap… Continue Reading

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Melany’s Movember Mutterings

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain. -Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up… Continue Reading

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Boot Camp: Dogs, Frienemies, Unfollowers, & Assholes

I posted another video for your viewing pleasure. My educated guess is that more people like watching 3-4 minute clips of my animated self than reading 500-750 plus words of carefully, detailed, humorous stories. That’s Ok. I can be included in this majority sometimes so I won’t hold it against you. People always ask what my blog/vlog is about? It is humor people! Snarky humor! While on my vacation (what a joke – have not had one day without and appointment since I have been here) I took advantage of an amazing dog training school opportunity for my beloved Teddy… Continue Reading

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Guys Can be Sloppy Drunky-poo too!

Some things just need a YouTube video and this story is one of them. This is not the correct way to get a date ladies and gentlemen. I would like to set the record straight that girls are not the only people that get sloppy drunk. Guys do too and it is not a good look. Beware of sloppy guys picking up on girls and snarky girls messing with drunky-poo guys while doing so. It was just too fun not to mess with, “blue guy, green, striped guy, plaid guy” and I had to and share with all of you…. Continue Reading

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“Welcome to the Jungle”-which one?

After successfully arriving in Arizona for a much-deserved vacay with Teddy Brewski, I feel compelled to write another post about long distance driving trips and the people who inhabit the armpit towns along the way since my last post on this topic was so controversial to some of my readers. This post is especially aimed at the citizens residing in the desert towns between Los Angeles and Phoenix. What in the hell is going on in these places that people look as if they have never seen a mirror in their entire lives? Every time I enter these truck stops… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween aka Dress like a slut day!

Ho Ho Ho – Don’t be a Ho on Halloween. It is not cute. For this blog post I am going to break down what to wear and what not to wear on Halloween in my YouTube video. I mean, if you are a slut you do not need to wait for Halloween to dress like one. But, please spare me the bikini tops when you are flat as a board unless you are signaling Ms. Miley Cyrus. Also, in this video I will address the well known “frienemy” epidemic which plagues most women. Don’t be one of them! Watch,… Continue Reading

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DatingAdvice.com: Me, An Expert?

This week has been insane for me but in a great way! This dating and relationship blogosphere is full of information, tips, advice, experts and people who think they are experts. I have learned so much and in no way claim to be an expert but feel that I am heading in that direction (especially when it come to dating this blog and not going on any real dates). What does it mean to be an expert on love and relationships anyway? We all have both of these things (hopefully) in our lives and are full of experiences both good… Continue Reading

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Shane Alexander: Indie Music Artist & Friend

I am so lucky to have met some phenomenal people while working in the music business. For those of you who do not know, my previous life was marketing many of my all time favorite rock bands. I loved my job but it was hard on my mind, body and soul. During that time, I rocked hard and met many interesting but only a few exceptional people. One of my all time favorite rockstars (whom you should get to know if you don’t already) is Shane Alexander. We met while working for legendary music manager, Irving Azoff. (I marketed many… Continue Reading

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Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

You all know that I have a plethora of online dating nightmare stories and it has not stopped but I have limited my reporting on such ridiculousness because it is depressing quite frankly. This one – I need to get off my chest. Please don’t make these mistakes while online dating or you will end up in the online dating nightmare category, which I should create on this here blog. The following are texts messages from a potential suitor from Sept 22, 2013 – Oct. 10, 2013 that went unanswered by me (I did answer the first week but he… Continue Reading

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The Hollywood Man: Hot, but Not Into Me

Just in case you missed my latest YouTube video – here it is! Let me offer you the real perspective on a Hollywood club. They are not the greatest places to meet men unless you are in fact, a man. There are a lot of hot guys but they are either: A. More interested at looking at themselves in the mirror B. More interested at looking at each other It is so frustrating. Oh and BTW – what was the name of that movie where Lily Tomlin is a small person? **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Online Dating Advice: Felony Melany Style

It was a rainy day here in Los Angeles so I decided to play with YouTube a little more. There are so many instructional videos for your instructional video on how to make a YouTube video. They tell you what to do, what not to do, what lighting to use, that you should stand on your head and play a tuba while blowing another bubble out of your ass, wear a donkey suit with a big clown nose down to what to say and what not to say. It is overwhelming to say the least so I just say what… Continue Reading

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