Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

You all know that I have a plethora of online dating nightmare stories and it has not stopped but I have limited my reporting on such ridiculousness because it is depressing quite frankly. This one – I need to get off my chest. Please don’t make these mistakes while online dating or you will end up in the online dating nightmare category, which I should create on this here blog.

The following are texts messages from a potential suitor from Sept 22, 2013 – Oct. 10, 2013 that went unanswered by me (I did answer the first week  but he just kept texting “hello, hello, hello” and then I could not take it anymore and stopped replying).  Here is a one-sided texting relationship and entry into the online dating nightmare category!

online dating nightmare mistakes

online dating nightmare

(Today on the last text was from October 10, 2013).

Attention guys and gals: Here is a little lesson for you (and me).

-Don’t go by the name of “Dr. McDreamy” on your online dating profile.
(Hint to Melany – be more selective to whom you give your phone number).

-You are not a real Dr. that can cut people open if you crack backs for a living.

-Call the girl and don’t send texts and expect to have a date. I need to make sure that you don’t sound like Pee Wee and don’t address me by “Yo” – k?

-I can appreciate persistence but if you send 1 or 2 texts that go unanswered either:

a. Pick up a phone.
b. Choose a different set of words in your texts other than “Hi” “Good Morning” “Hey” and “Hi Sexy” because it is not working!
c. Don’t text before 7:30AM and after 11:00PM.
d. Give up and move on.
e. Read every single one of my Guydlines!!!

Good try “Dr. McDreamy” but I am on the other line with “Dr. I know how to talk on the phone”!

Melanysguydlines #56 – Don’t totally write off Dr. McDreamy. He may offer online discounts and I need a good crack for my back.

*** I have got to give this moron an “A” for Asshole.

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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13 Responses to Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

  1. Mac October 18, 2013 at 9:21 am #

    Perhaps he’s just throwing spaghetti at a wall – he added your number to his “random, impersonal, morning booty-fishing” text distribution list. Persistence can definitely pay off, but being a passive-aggressive d-bag rarely does. Maybe there’s a fine line between the two?

    “Dr. McDreamy” made me laugh. That’s some serious posturing.

    • Melany October 18, 2013 at 9:28 am #

      Thanks for the comment MAC! Oh yeah, I love “random, impersonal, morning booty fishing” texts – is there a app for that??

    • Mac October 18, 2013 at 10:08 am #

      It certainly could be an app. We’ll make a fortune!

      • Melany October 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

        We totally would make a fortune with that app!! I agree!

  2. Lisa Jey Davis October 18, 2013 at 9:30 am #

    yeah – I’ve had my share… But you know what really annoyed me? A supposedly educated man spelled “to” wrong… “What are you up too?” That means “what are you up, also…” and makes no friggin sense. THAT my friend is the reason I would text him back and say “Learn how to spell, then maybe pick up the phone some day when you grow a pair.” — Just KIDDING… but my GOD it’s annoying. I have to ask you – what made you get past Dr. McDreamy and let this guy in? I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how eloquent the profile, good looking the photos or otherwise. ANYONE conceited enough to call themselves dreamy in any stretch of the imagination is either an asshole or purely delusional. ACKKKKK!

    • Melany October 18, 2013 at 9:32 am #

      I know – what is the deal with “too” – come on??? They should know better and so should I! I am going to be more selective when giving out the digits!

  3. Miguel Nolasco October 18, 2013 at 10:45 am #

    Everything make “perfect sense” to me on this txt stuff . I use txt messages because I too make the bad of mistake of never knowing when to make the “phone call” . When someone is eating , bathing or just about to kill themselves that’s when Iake the calls. Hehehe . And I make my questions short and to the point better in txt form . Great Blog Melany !!

    • Melany October 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

      Thanks Miguel!

  4. Mike October 18, 2013 at 11:16 am #

    Sound like a desperate person if you ask me. Someone who has no life and lives on his phone. Call the girl end of story, if he cant talk to you on the phone whats you think he can carry a conversation in person.

    • Melany October 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm #

      Agreed – sounds like desperation to me as well. Why is picking up a phone so hard to do these days? Thanks for the comment.

  5. Ana Lydia Ochoa-Monaco October 18, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    I am SOOO glad I am married – lordy, the stuff you have to do to get a date now blows.

    • Melany October 20, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

      Dating is not easy – to say the least.

  6. Sarah December 17, 2013 at 6:02 pm #


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