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Oh baby? What is that shit?

Last week was so hectic that I forgot to write a blog post with my latest YouTube video!! I am falling down on the job but I guess during this time of thanks I am thankful that I can’t get fired. If I fired myself, that would be no fun. So, while I am trying to put together the “What I am thankful for this year” post I will present you with this video which makes me laugh every time I watch it. At least, I know I can make myself laugh. In the video you will find my recap… Continue Reading

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Melany’s Movember Mutterings

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain. -Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up… Continue Reading

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“Welcome to the Jungle”-which one?

After successfully arriving in Arizona for a much-deserved vacay with Teddy Brewski, I feel compelled to write another post about long distance driving trips and the people who inhabit the armpit towns along the way since my last post on this topic was so controversial to some of my readers. This post is especially aimed at the citizens residing in the desert towns between Los Angeles and Phoenix. What in the hell is going on in these places that people look as if they have never seen a mirror in their entire lives? Every time I enter these truck stops… Continue Reading

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Why Do People Like Memes? | Top 19 Reasons Why Memes Are Popular

jealousy meme

MEMES – people love them!!! What is a meme? These are the “snarky” & funny pictures I post on Facebook, Twitter, Social Media and this blog. We are all a bit lazy (not you of course) and need instant gratification whether it is in work, relationships, dating, or even our social media consumption. Most people don’t like to read, so putting a thumbs up on a meme is so much easier than doing anything else like uh, ……reading? It’s ok – my Facebook wouldn’t be as fun without them. I have noticed some trends with the meme community. People love… Continue Reading

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Las Vegas: Don’t get caught with your pants down or the wrong pair

packing tips for guys - no tight pants

This one gave me a laugh while writing because you know it is true. If you don’t, then you need to do a little more gambling, a lot more partying and experience Las Vegas with me (a snarky professional) at least one time. Are you up for that challenge? Sure. I hate packing and unpacking as much as anyone else. But, I need to do it soon as my plane is going to leave with or without my suitcase and all of my unnecessary belongings that somehow creep into my suitcase leaving me with an overweight baggage charge. How does… Continue Reading

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An Ode to the Intern : Libby Graduates!

This weekend while you sit at your local dive and try to make sex eyes at the only person in the room that’s remotely passable, our intern Libby will be donning the cap and gown on the big stage at Loyola Marymount University.  A momentous occasion for any young adult.  Take for instance this tasteful tweet from yours truly on the day of my graduation. (Cover your eyes Melany’s Mom) Purdue commencement : Why the fuck didn't any of you tell me to skip this? — Matt Bailey (@SonofHilljack) August 4, 2012 Forewarning Libby, everything changes when you step off… Continue Reading

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Good Riddance 2012

I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to make people laugh with melanysguydlines.com.  This single girl blog was created as a result of some of the hardest moments in my life but has served well as MY cathartic outlet. My tag line is that I have lived 9 lives, and I truly have . I have been blessed with loving parents and for that I am most thankful. Each of us has our own struggles and obstacles to overcome. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Gentlemen know best

There is one more thing I am thankful for that I just barely touched on with my last post. I want to thank EVERYONE who reads my blog and welcome all of the newcomers, especially the fellas. You guys are representing and make up a large part of my readership. It may come as a surprise to some of you that the majority of my readership is men. It is! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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I am most thankful for…..

  I am THANKFUL for: Being raised by the 2 most amazing people who have been supportive through all my 9 lives and taught me never to be scared of my own shadow. Being blessed to have had a sister that I shared everything with and knowing that she is watching over me every day. Having the strength to kick ass literally and figuratively. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Las Vegas – Rock & Lions

Ahhh, Las Vegas! My third home. I was born in a casino (I wasn’t  but with my innate ability to schlep around the Las Vegas strip, casino, hotels and clubs you would think I was). It is like I was born with a map of the MGM casino in my hand. Well, I Just got back from my trip where I went with the intention to rock out like a maniac for 48 hours straight. This was interrupted by a little bump in the road but I rallied as best I know how to make the trip a success! Put on… Continue Reading

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First Jackasses in my life – Music lessons

People ALWAYS ask me what I do. My answer is A LOT. But, my background and professional experience is in music. I love music! Music is the soundtrack to my life (it is). I know that sounds cheesy but it is. I have a hard time relating to people if we have different taste in music. I am totally “audio-ly A.D.D.” meaning if the music is not good in a bar, club, at a party, in a supermarket, elevator- I have to leave. I find myself to be one of very few (people with good taste in music) blonde, Jewish… Continue Reading

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