Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines

An Open Letter to MelanysGuydlines Fans, Friends and Followers:

By Melany on February 18, 2015 in Relationships

Please nominate MelanysGuydlines (a.k.a. Melanyb12 on twitter) for a Shorty Award in the blogger category. The Shorty awards are the Oscars for Social Media. It would be a huge honor to take home this prize and I am currently in the number one position with 555 nominations but the contest ends (tomorrow) this Thursday February 19, 2015 and the person behind me is getting close. Nominations are only available via Twitter so you must have an active account to nominate. Past honors have gone to celebs and social media stars including Jerry Seinfeld, Will Ferrell, Tracy Morgan, Andrew WK… Continue Reading

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Are You Ready For The College Hoops Tournament? Win $400 From Retro Brand: 3 Winners

By Melany on February 16, 2015 in Goodies

Why hello there! How many of you caught the SNL 40th Anniversary special last night? What did you think? I loved it. Great show! I could have had #morecowbell #sitdownkanye and Eddie Murphy’s laugh should have made an appearance. Also, where was Drunk Uncle? The only person I saw was David Spade with a mini bottle? Snarky! Anyway….. Love me some laughs and sports obviously from the title of this post! Well, we are all sad that football season is over but do you know what that means? It means that it is almost College Hoops Tournament time. Basketball!… Continue Reading

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Valentine’s Day: Who Needs Cupid When You Have eHarmony?

By Melany on February 12, 2015 in Relationships

Valentine’s Day is a special holiday and if you get lucky enough maybe it will be warm, fuzzy and touchy-feely in all the right places. I like warm and fuzzy. Who doesn’t? Who are you going to get touchy-feely with and where will you find this person? You don’t want to just spend this holiday with just anyone do you? You deserve better than that and so do I! Combined with the pressure to find that perfect someone and because your parents want grandchildren before they are too old, the search can become overwhelming and exhausting. But, you have to… Continue Reading

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What Do You Really Know About Singles In America?

By Melany on February 11, 2015 in Relationships

I was excited to be invited to Match.com’s event for #SinglesInAmerica again this year. For five years, Match.com has brought America’s most detailed study on singles and their beliefs and behaviors. This year they surveyed more than 5,600 diverse singles from all races, ages and walks of life with the help of ResearchNow and Dr. Helen Fisher (an expert on dating). The survey aims at representing real single people. It is not just aimed at Match.com users and is super comprehensive. The event was so successful that the #SinglesInAmerica trended on twitter for the third year in a row! I… Continue Reading

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The Best Part of the Grammy’s Were The Snarky Tweets

By Melany on February 9, 2015 in Snarky

The best part of the Grammys were the snarky tweets…and, not just from me! There are so many funny people on twitter and that is why it’s my favorite. Every day I am supplied with hearty laughs from the snarky people on twitter. I can’t get enough. It is like I am addicted. But, when an award show airs – you can guarantee I am tweeting like a mad woman. There is too much to comment about and it is a lot less annoying than being that person who always talks through awards shows. I was guilty of being that… Continue Reading

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Nominate MelanysGuydlines (@Melanyb12) for a Shorty Award in Blogger!

By Melany on February 4, 2015 in Goodies

Well, there has been a lot going on over here at MelanysGuydlines lately. Right now, I am neck and neck for first place in a shorty award for blogger. YES! I just need one more vote to be tied for #1. WOOHOO! But, I need your help to take that first place slot. Can I count on you? Last year I was up for this award and missed it by one slot. I know my snarky followers are not going to let that happen in 2015, right? Thank you to all that have nominated me for a shorty award… Continue Reading

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Snarky Picks For Super Bowl Weekend 2015 in Scottsdale, Arizona

By Melany on January 30, 2015 in Goodies

snarky picks for super bowl in scottsdale, az

As most of you know, I am a University of Arizona #Wildcatforlife, travel way too much for work on the West Coast but have just relocated to Scottsdale, Arizona which just happens to be the home for the Super Bowl this year a.k.a deflategate! Even though my 49ers did not have the greatest showing 2014/2015 and I hate Levi’s stadium, I am still a huge fan and love anything football (basketball and baseball) related. Plus, I have been known to know “where the party is at”, love my Grey Goose libations, awesome taste in music, food and fashion (if I… Continue Reading

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Dear Hackers: Hack Off

By Melany on January 27, 2015 in Snarky

Dear Hackers (a.k.a. cheaters with no life), I am not sure what is going on but this is the second time someone has tried to hack into my blog in the past two years. I have security and we are on to you. So, go somewhere else or think of another profession that involves your own creativity because this is dumb. Plus, I have security on this site and it alerts me every time your dumb ass tries to infect me. How about you go think of your own idea, name, blog, site, url, and get a life? How… Continue Reading

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Win A Sony Play Station 4 & Madden NFL 15 Worth $450: No Deflated Balls For Super Bowl

By Melany on January 26, 2015 in Goodies, Greatest Hits

In honor of Super Bowl being right in my back yard (Phoenix) and the fact that I love my football more than most girls, I am giving you a chance to win a brand new Play Station 4 Console with the Madden 15 game so you can play with fully inflated balls! How cool is that? I want to play. Plus, I dislike the Sea Chickens, did grow up with Tom Brady and played softball (on purpose) with his sister so…. I couldn’t help myself with this tweet because it is true…and snarky. I am giving you a chance to… Continue Reading

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The Top 10 Most Annoying Top 10 Lists

By Melany on January 23, 2015 in Snarky

I want to create a top 10 list of the most annoying top 10 lists. Yes, you read that right. Can you help me with this? I would love to know what types of top lists fill your feed or your time line. Whatever. Don’t be shy and I wont judge….well, I will but snarky commentary never hurt anyone. I already asked this question on twitter and Facebook and got some good answers but need more to compile a list. Note: I will never title it the “complete” list of the top 10 most annoying lists because that is annoying… Continue Reading

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Keep Your Super Bowl Beverages Cold Through Halftime: Win $85 Of Corkcicle Products

By Melany on January 22, 2015 in Goodies

Keep your Super Bowl beverages cold - enter to win $85 of corkcicle beverage accessories

Well, we all know my Niners didn’t make the Super Bowl this year and I really don’t love the “Seachickens” but what I do love are some tasty beverages and super bowl parties. Watching any type of sport is one of my favorite past times and to pair it with a frosty drink and some yummy food makes Super Bowl one of the best days of the year regardless of who is playing. I mean commercials…come on!I So, in honor of those deflated balls and all that jazz, I thought I would offer you all a chance to win some… Continue Reading

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My Love Affair With Cars: Barrett-Jackson Scottsdale

By Melany on January 19, 2015 in Goodies

Sometimes the best days and nights happen when you least expect them. We all know that I am totally OCD, ADD, a neurotic planner and write lists for my “to do” lists. But, there are those rare occasions where I am asked to do something that is not listed on my Icloud calendar and I suck it up, throw on a snarky outfit, paint on my Bobbi Brown black eyeliner, layer my Lancome mascara, drape (what some may think is too much gold around my neck aka Mr. T), grab a bling studded Valentino purse, paired with way too tall… Continue Reading

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