I was excited to be invited to Match.com’s event for #SinglesInAmerica again this year. For five years, Match.com has brought America’s most detailed study on singles and their beliefs and behaviors. This year they surveyed more than 5,600 diverse singles from all races, ages and walks of life with the help of ResearchNow and Dr. Helen Fisher (an expert on dating). The survey aims at representing real single people. It is not just aimed at Match.com users and is super comprehensive. The event was so successful that the #SinglesInAmerica trended on twitter for the third year in a row! I thought I knew a lot about dating but some of the findings surprised even this snarky one.
You can watch the event here but let me break down my favorite parts for you!
Dr. Fisher started the Livestream event debunking some common dating myths with the findings from the study. There were a lot of finding but some were super fun so, let me highlight a few that really stood out to me!
Right out of the gate Dr. Fisher told us that women are not always the most romantic in a relationship but that in fact, men are even sometimes more romantic than women! What? Yes, it is true!
In fact the study found:
“What women want — Single women want: more time with friends (64% women; 55% men), more personal space (90% women; 78% men), their own bank account (78% women, 68% men); and to pursue their own hobbies and interests (93% women, 88% men). Single women are also slower to want to move in with a new partner, thus maintaining their independence. Single women are most likely to expect to date someone for 1-2 years before living together (33% women; 30% men), while single men are most likely to want to date 6-12 months before cohabitating (34% men; 23% women). Yet, 46% of singles believe the sexes are equally romantic.”
This makes sense. Women have become so much more independent not only in business but in their personal lives. Women may even be more commitment-phobic than men and men tend to fall in love faster than women. I was a little surprised by this one! [Tweet “Women may even be more commitment-phobic than men and men tend to fall in love faster than women.]
The next thing I found very interesting was that human beings are capable of having long term relationships despite what some might say! Our brains can handle it! So, we are capable of being in romantic and committed long-term relationships. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!
It is possible to have long term love – the brain can handle it! Dr. Fisher says so! @match #singlesinamerica
— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) February 7, 2015
There is still hope to find your one and only! In fact, according to the study singles are extremely optimistic! Which is awesome. Also, it was once thought not to be cool to date online but now, all the cool kids are online dating. Didn’t you know? But, there was one point that I questioned a bit! It was a big one and appropriately named the George Clooney effect!
“THE CLOONEY EFFECT Or…the allure of Amal and the ‘new independent woman’ End of the macho man –Like George Clooney, men seek the “new woman,” someone who is smart, powerful and self-sufficient. 87% of single men would date a woman who makes ‘considerably more’ money and who is considerably better-educated and more intellectual than themselves; 86% seek a woman who is confident and self-assured, and 39% would also make a long-term commitment to a woman who is 10 or more years older.”
This grabbed my attention because I always hear that men are intimidated by me! So, is this really true? I turned this over to my twitter followers and this is the reply I got.
Check this out @richgustason – what men are attracted to vs want! #singlesinamerica @match pic.twitter.com/jObm6D9zic
— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) February 7, 2015
Jury is still out on this one! I will let you know when I find a man not intimidated by what I do and how much I work because you know, social media never sleeps and neither do I.
This brings me to the best “guydline” of the day when Dr. Fisher said that despite all the surveys and what studies discover that in the end you have to pick the right person! AMEN!
No matter what – you have to pick the right person! @match #singlesinamerica
— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) February 7, 2015
We all got a kick out the next finding, which addressed the use of emojis in text messages. You know those little icons you can send when chatting with someone? Like a little dog or lips?
“So emojional — 51% of singles say they use emojis to give their texts ‘more personality’ and 37% say that emojis make it ‘easier to express their feelings.’ Emojis that singles regularly use with a date are the wink (53%), the smiley face (38%), and the kiss (27%). But limit yourself to only 1-3 emojis per text, please! Also, 52% of emoji-using singles went on at least one first date in 2014, compared to 27% of singles that never use emojis. Single emoji-users are also twice as likely (62%) as non-users (30%) to want to get married.”
So, I guess I need to be sending more hearts, smileys, dogs and kisses in my texts!
I should also stop taking so many selfies! HA!
“Social media taboos — The top social media activities that turn singles off include: airing your emotional drama in posts (65% men; 78% women); displaying too many selfies (46% men; 65% women); and asking you to un-friend your ex (49% men; 59% women). Also, 72% of singles do not want a potential partner to use their cell phone too frequently while on a date.”
I always hide my cell phone while on a date, so at least I am doing something right!
Lastly, working out is good for your body but did you know it is good for your romantic life too? Well, it is!
“Sweat some to get some — 33% of singles that exercise 2-6 times a week had sex at least monthly in 2014, compared to only 20% of singles who rarely or never choose to exercise. Additionally, 50% of singles that exercise at least twice per week went on a first date in 2014, compared to only 29% of singles who say they rarely or never exercise.”
Who wants to go for a hike?
*****All of the above material was from the Match.com Singles in America study! There is more if you would like to check it out! http://singlesinamerica.com/
**Stay snarky my friends!**
These data are striking. Single women want more time to be alone, more time with friends (mostly female) and more time for hobbies. What about more time dating? More time with a potential romantic partner? If these data are true, I don’t get why women lament being single. #JustSayin
That is a good point! Thanks for the comment.
So informative! Thanks for breaking it down! But I question how representative it really is of singles in America. It seems sometimes people say one thing and actually mean something else. The social media stats were interesting. Goes to show you how important how we communicate both online AND offline is. Marketing yourself is the key!!
I agree 100%! Thanks for the comment!
Great stats! I like the Emoji one… I did know about the exercise one… after all I wrote articles about exercises you can do to enhance your sex life! LOL!!!!
True true! Sweat some to get some! love it.
I always find Match’s findings interesting. What many express they experience when online dating is the complete opposite of what this survey says they should be experiencing!
For instance…that more men want t be in a relationship than women. Spending as much time discussing this topic across different platforms, it makes the results surprising!
Very interesting read Melany. Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed reading this.
Women do like their independence, freedom to come and go as they wish, etc., in the 21st century. Men like the idea of having her live with him, after a year or so of dating, in the beginning of her moving in, but are quick to rush things along too quickly. Both worlds are eventually gonna crash into each other instead of orbiting each peacefully, with the occasional high or low tide, if I may. An eclipse every now and then. HA!
I also think that people can have long term relationships if they find the right one of course. Which is finding a needle in a haystack, in a field of haystacks in Nebraska and/or Kansas.
I’m also not a fan of dating online. That’s not to say that couples havent found each other and are happily together. Great for them. Go for it!! I’ve also gotten to the point in life where I dont feel intimated by any woman who’s successful, because I dont really care about her success, if I wish to date her, which I don’t. Otherwise, I’m very happy for her accomplishments. Men are attracted to women who are successful in their own right and yeah, some are intimidated by such women. Our pride is our biggest flaw in this case. We’ve been instilled, taught to be the breadwinner, to provide for her and a family one day. So there will be a bit of friction there.
Using emojis has its place in dating and relating. Just not something I do at all to be honest. And rarely text anyone. I dont like long texts about pointless stuff that is none of my business, nor do I really care. I also dont have a damn thing to do with any of my exes, and for good reason. However, I am not opposed to using my phone to live tweet during a date, for comedy purposes and because I dont give a crap. A few rules of mine when it comes to dating.
But the best thing about social media, to me, is that I, as a single guy, can post whatever I want as inspiring or raunchy as I want to. I can also friend lots of single ladies or women with relationships or are married, because I’m not trying seeking to be her next boyfriend or husband. The FRIEND ZONE was invented for a reason, which is not a bad place to be when you think about it, and this is where I prefer to be. A Knight on the Chess board, figuratively/literally. He does his best work, best stuff on the sidelines. Very effective!!
“Sweat some to get some” – I love this phrase. One of my the greats of 2015. I’m definitely going to use this from now on. Dating is an exercise in itself.
Anyone wanna play Chess??
HAHA! Great comment! Maybe you should write a guest post? Thanks!
Thanks so much Melany!! Yeah I might could do a guest post one day. I’ll just have to add more, edit some and add some crazy to it and submit it. Not sure how good it will be but yeah sure….
That would be awesome! Patiently waiting the next episode of the Travisphere!
Wow! Thanks for sharing this information. It’s interesting because what this survey shows doesn’t correlate to what men and women typically complain about when it comes to dating. The romance aspect, for instance, says that men are more romantic than women. I find this funny because women are usually complaining that they want/need their man to be more romantic. Still, interesting read and thanks for sharing 🙂
Right? That is why I had a few ???’s about it. But, yep still interesting. Thanks for the comment!
Men’s definition of romance is a bit different from womens, which explains the gap in romance women feel from their boyfriends, husbands. I find it very romantic when watching football with a woman and there’s one football shaped cookie left but lets me have it. Or gets me a nice set of chisels just because. Thats romantic!!
I love football! How about a football shaped cupcake instead of a cookie? LOL!