Texting is ruining my dating life

So here we are, the first official work week in January. I don’t know where everyone was after the first, but I started working last week. It seems like an eternity since New Years Eve, which I am stoked to report was an absolute blast.  I lost 12 hours of my life but I have great pictures to prove that my best friend and I had an amazing time (and so did the other guys, Teddy, cat, horse and rabbit in the pictures). Don’t ask!

I have not had a dating story in a long time.

Partly, because I have not gone on any dates or what are considered dates in my mind (and yes, I have tried online dating, have you?) I have hung out with guys in a “friendly” way but no official date. You know? Guy asks girl for number, guy calls girl and asks her out and they go out in PERSON and in PUBLIC.

dating stories

If I read this entire book will I finally get a date?

This has not happened because text messages kills the potential love lives of many people, especially mine.  A few weeks ago, I was excited to give my number to an attorney I met online and he texted right away. Ok – I’ll give him that text because he wanted to make sure that I gave him a working number. But, after the 3rd week of texting back and forth with never actually SPEAKING on the phone or in person, I decided to delete him and stop responding. Agreed, 3 weeks was way too long to give this chump but I thought that all the texts I sent him in response to him asking about my day, my dog, if I washed my hair or car and if I wanted to get together were sufficient to explain that I don’t meet a guy that I have not actually SPOKEN to on the phone. He could sound like Pee-Wee or the voice over guy from movie previews. I break a lot of rules, but not this one. You know how I feel about certain types of voices (especially squeaky).

First text conversation went a little something like this:

Chump – Want to meet up for a drink?

ME- Sure, but I prefer to talk on the phone before meeting someone to make sure he is actually breathing.

Chump – How can someone not breathing send a text? (Did he really ask me this? YES – should have gotten rid of him here).

ME – A computer can.

Chump – Good point. (Happy we could agree on that).

This was the end of our conversation the first week with no call to follow. But, each day and night after that I would get “sweet” messages (or creepy depending how desperate someone is and I am not at that point yet) that would say “hope you are having a nice day”.  Thanks. The next weekend he texts “sorry I have been so busy but you want to meet up this weekend” and I reply “sure”.

So, he texts me AGAIN the next day and I finally ask, “do you TALK on the phone” and he says “yes”. Still, no call after my response.  I guess guys like that can’t sense the bitchiness inherent in the question stated. I thought he was an attorney. The college he went to needs to give his parents their money back because this guy was dumber than a bag of hammers.

Anyway, another week goes by and Pee Wee texts “how are you and you love to meet” in which I respond “are you scared of the phone or do you not know how to speak” and he says “no”.  You would assume that he would understand the question and pick up a phone, but no. Even after all of this, he kept texting even though I told him I could no longer text because my fingers were broken from hitting my ex- boyfriend with the cell phone he used to text me incessantly. Get the picture buddy?

Why do people join dating sites if they are not going to at least go on a date? What is the point of filling out all the bullshit questions and posting the best pictures you have ever taken if you are not even going to attempt to go on a date?

Can someone please explain this to me? I just don’t understand and am very confused.


Melany’s Guydline #30 – Dating sites should not be used to find people just to ask Facebook status update-like questions NOR should they be used for obtaining new texting pen pals.


**Stay snarky my friends!**

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35 Responses to Texting is ruining my dating life

  1. Emily February 6, 2013 at 12:18 am #

    Ok, let me tell you what I think is going on here. He’s dating a million other women and just stringing you along because he likes having someone to text randomly but never actually intended on meeting you. My roommate has stories exactly like this. Also he’s not calling because you never asked “Can you call me instead of texting please?” Next time you do a number exchange with someone ask them flat out to call you not text for your first conversation!! If they text you first, that’s a deal breaker!!! This guy just sounds like a total loser though honestly. His texts sound insanely boring and he doesn’t sound very intelligent. He probably has a wife and kids or some shit like that too.

    • Melany February 23, 2013 at 5:19 am #

      You are probably right about the wife and kid! Yes, he was VERY boring!

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