Texting is ruining my dating life

So here we are, the first official work week in January. I don’t know where everyone was after the first, but I started working last week. It seems like an eternity since New Years Eve, which I am stoked to report was an absolute blast.  I lost 12 hours of my life but I have great pictures to prove that my best friend and I had an amazing time (and so did the other guys, Teddy, cat, horse and rabbit in the pictures). Don’t ask!

I have not had a dating story in a long time.

Partly, because I have not gone on any dates or what are considered dates in my mind (and yes, I have tried online dating, have you?) I have hung out with guys in a “friendly” way but no official date. You know? Guy asks girl for number, guy calls girl and asks her out and they go out in PERSON and in PUBLIC.

dating stories

If I read this entire book will I finally get a date?

This has not happened because text messages kills the potential love lives of many people, especially mine.  A few weeks ago, I was excited to give my number to an attorney I met online and he texted right away. Ok – I’ll give him that text because he wanted to make sure that I gave him a working number. But, after the 3rd week of texting back and forth with never actually SPEAKING on the phone or in person, I decided to delete him and stop responding. Agreed, 3 weeks was way too long to give this chump but I thought that all the texts I sent him in response to him asking about my day, my dog, if I washed my hair or car and if I wanted to get together were sufficient to explain that I don’t meet a guy that I have not actually SPOKEN to on the phone. He could sound like Pee-Wee or the voice over guy from movie previews. I break a lot of rules, but not this one. You know how I feel about certain types of voices (especially squeaky).

First text conversation went a little something like this:

Chump – Want to meet up for a drink?

ME- Sure, but I prefer to talk on the phone before meeting someone to make sure he is actually breathing.

Chump – How can someone not breathing send a text? (Did he really ask me this? YES – should have gotten rid of him here).

ME – A computer can.

Chump – Good point. (Happy we could agree on that).

This was the end of our conversation the first week with no call to follow. But, each day and night after that I would get “sweet” messages (or creepy depending how desperate someone is and I am not at that point yet) that would say “hope you are having a nice day”.  Thanks. The next weekend he texts “sorry I have been so busy but you want to meet up this weekend” and I reply “sure”.

So, he texts me AGAIN the next day and I finally ask, “do you TALK on the phone” and he says “yes”. Still, no call after my response.  I guess guys like that can’t sense the bitchiness inherent in the question stated. I thought he was an attorney. The college he went to needs to give his parents their money back because this guy was dumber than a bag of hammers.

Anyway, another week goes by and Pee Wee texts “how are you and you love to meet” in which I respond “are you scared of the phone or do you not know how to speak” and he says “no”.  You would assume that he would understand the question and pick up a phone, but no. Even after all of this, he kept texting even though I told him I could no longer text because my fingers were broken from hitting my ex- boyfriend with the cell phone he used to text me incessantly. Get the picture buddy?

Why do people join dating sites if they are not going to at least go on a date? What is the point of filling out all the bullshit questions and posting the best pictures you have ever taken if you are not even going to attempt to go on a date?

Can someone please explain this to me? I just don’t understand and am very confused.


Melany’s Guydline #30 – Dating sites should not be used to find people just to ask Facebook status update-like questions NOR should they be used for obtaining new texting pen pals.


**Stay snarky my friends!**

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35 Responses to Texting is ruining my dating life

  1. Jonathan January 8, 2013 at 9:20 pm #

    Melany, Hi, I found your blog through a mutual friend. Fun subject matter. I agree, if someone is unwilling to talk or show themselves it raises an eyebrow, although I must say I know some people these days who refuse to communicate any other way, or who only respond to messages through Facebook. Sometimes I wonder if there are some people out there who wouldn’t answer a call from a friend lying in an emergency room because a friend didn’t post it on twitter first. Anyway, I insist on speaking with someone first too, and-are you ready for this-I turn off my phone once she arrives for our date! I’m finding the world can wait…..

    • Melany January 8, 2013 at 9:23 pm #

      So happy you found me and that you liked the subject matter! Please pass along 🙂 I applaud you for your beliefs. People just do not know how to talk to one another anymore. It is sad. But you rock! Proud of you and you have some lucky dates b/c I have had quite a few dates that never put the phones down.

  2. Bob January 8, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

    I am trying to learn from you. Does that mean if you give me your number that I could call you?

    • Melany January 8, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

      yep!! unless you have 4 eyes or call me dude.

  3. Ruby January 8, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

    Couldn’t have said it better. I really like what you have to say and how you say it. I am starting to become a believer.

    • Melany January 8, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

      Thanks!!! BELIEVE!

  4. Natalie B January 8, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

    Right on sista’!

  5. Steven Berman January 8, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

    OMG. This happened to me once. I just couldn’t understand it either. And I let it go one for a month. duhhhhhh. I LOVED this article.

    • Melany January 8, 2013 at 10:33 pm #

      Happens to all of us! Happy you liked it!

  6. Jody January 8, 2013 at 11:04 pm #

    Dear Melany, I just finished reading this blog and you had me at the first thought. It was fun meeting you in Vegas. You had me in stitches. We need to get together.

    • Melany January 9, 2013 at 1:43 am #

      Thanks Jody! Nice meeting you too!!! Yes – lets do it!

  7. miguel nolasco January 8, 2013 at 11:09 pm #

    Melany i love talking on the like most people. But i have a standing offer to you, that you do not talk about it in your Blog. i am a little shy so i will every now and then sing to you. my sing voice is louder than my talking voice. and a shot of Jack Daniels always puts me in a better mood. lol !?!

  8. Eli@coachdaddy January 9, 2013 at 5:47 am #

    Technology + dating = laziness. Chump probably has found other women who will jump at his occasional texts by meeting him for drinks and partaking in Facebook-status quality questions in person. These are probably exchanged in a noisy bar to mask his mousy voice.

    He likely scores at a rate of at least .07 percent, which is better than he could have fared in the pre-text-dating era. So he feels he’s golden, even though he’s missing out.

    Blogging girls kind of rock.

    • Melany January 15, 2013 at 7:50 am #

      Blogging girls rock agreed. Technology + dating = supreme laziness agreed.

  9. Crystal Spraggins January 9, 2013 at 6:57 am #

    Funny! I have been married for 25 years and obviously have not dated during that time, but I have young adult sons and am interested in the topic. (For the record, I am now leaning toward arranged marriages.) I think you’re absolutely correct in dumping this “chump.” (I thought I was the only person who still used that word, lol!) At the very least, he shows an AMAZING lack of emotional intelligence. Hello? She’s telling you to pick up the phone, man!

    • Melany January 9, 2013 at 8:10 am #

      Thanks for the comment! Yes – “chump” is just such a fitting word for this idiot who is obviously scared of the phone.

  10. Eli@coachdaddy January 10, 2013 at 6:15 am #

    So, my guess is this dork found a niche of dating-site ladies who love that he keeps it to texting and asks Facebook-update caliber questions. They probably meet in noisy bars where she can’t hear his voice, then go back to his pad to watch a little reality TV and engage in the nana.

    Consider it the can of vienna sausages version of fine dining.

    (we’re not missing a thing).

    • Melany January 15, 2013 at 7:48 am #

      Here is your reply! Yes, maybe that is the type of dating site. But, I am not looking for vienna sausage dating.

  11. Janet January 10, 2013 at 8:37 am #

    Very funny! Iam not a mother yet but when or if I do become one, I agree with Crystal. Let’s go back to arranged marriages because maybe I’d have a chance to get married. Anyways, I think that’s the reason I’m not. Let’s throw away those cell phones and get back to reality. Oops, unfortunately I can’t live without mine.

    • Melany January 10, 2013 at 9:36 am #

      I know Janet! I wish it was that easy but I can’t live without mine for long either!

  12. Dave Kevoe January 10, 2013 at 2:38 pm #

    Let me play devil’s advocate for just a second and before I do I want to say I agree with you that the world has become quite lazy. I am just as guilty as the next person in texting vs picking up the phone and calling. However, You have a phone, why can’t you call this guy? Why does the guy always have to initiate everything? Why not take a chance and meet for coffee without talking on the phone? Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith without analyzing it so much?

    • Melany January 10, 2013 at 2:47 pm #

      I am not over analyzing just think that if I asked him to call, he should. Common courtesy? You know? Yes – we are all lazy sometimes!

      • Emily February 6, 2013 at 12:20 am #

        you calling would have been sooo aggressive and awkward.

        • Melany February 23, 2013 at 5:19 am #


  13. Sip and Go Girl January 11, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    I’m not as concerned with the fella’s lack of phone use as I am with the fact there was no real meet-up planned! That’s what would bug me the most. It’s like all he wanted was a text message buddy. I’d say “no” to that as well!

    • Melany January 11, 2013 at 6:03 pm #

      For sure! I don’t need a penpal aka “text pal” – so lame!

  14. Kellie Saxton January 11, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

    I thought this blog was helarious!! I’ve done the whole online dating thing. I went out on dates a few people some I dated for a couple of months, and others I went on one date and was thinking can’t wait till this is over..hahaha I gave up online dating after a year.
    I do feel texting is not good for new relationships. I find it actually lazy. I feel if a guy is really interested in me he will pick up the phone and call me. I’ve dated guys that have never called me except for when I was meeting up with him. I personally think it should be the opposite you should text when you are just finding out where to meet up and what time. Otherwise you should pick up the phone and have a conversation with a lady!! Grrr one of my pet peeves

    • Melany January 12, 2013 at 1:46 am #

      Happy you liked it Kellie! Thanks for the comment. I totally agree with you. One of my pet peeves too. Pick up a phone, call and ask me out on a date? EASY!

  15. Natasha January 12, 2013 at 9:46 am #

    Hmm, he sounds a bit like a creep! One of the Destiny’s Child, say my name type deals. Anyway, just found your blog and wanted to say that you’ve got some awesome content here! 🙂

    • Melany January 12, 2013 at 9:50 am #

      Total Creep! So happy you found me! Thanks and I am happy you like it! Come back often 🙂

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