AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame

For my last and final installment of the AllFacebook AllTwitter Social Media conference I will give a few snarky “guydlines” to the professionals on the panels. They need all the help they can get to try and keep these people attending the conference awake!

I know this was a long-winded blog post series but these points needed to be made and I needed to make them! Come on? You know what I am talking about.
I am totally OCD, ADD and forgot what the first post was about by now (as did you) but there are still some good points here.

-Don’t assume everyone has the budget of Adobe. When I worked for the Eagles, they would sell out stadiums no matter what I did. Same thing for you so don’t be condescending to those of use that don’t have budgets ending in 5 zeros.

-Assume that your audience is regular people like they do in a court of law. Don’t start in at level 8 and expect us to follow you when we don’t know what the hell you do and are the very reason we are sitting in that room. Also, introduce yourself and your company. Do you know how many websites and apps there are – why would I know yours?

-Don’t begin a lecture by saying “don’t be scared we have 100 slides”  – just don’t!
You should never speak at a conference again! Never!

-Don’t monotonically mutter away from the microphone and never fluctuate your voice. This is why the room started with 150 people and by the time the lectures were over there were only 40 sorry and bored sacks in the seats in front of you. Bueller? Bueller?

Bueller? Bueller??

-If there are never any questions – you suck! There are ALWAYS questions.

-Don’t ever be condescending and use the term “no brainer” because you sound like an asshole. Stop looking up your word of the day and feel better about yourself by getting off on using said word in more than 2 sentences during your lecture. It is the same thing with acronyms. Acronyms can mean a lot of things…..

-Create good social events. That is why they are called conferences! Take advantage of the bar in the hotel and throw a god damn party! If you need help – ask???

Melanys Guydlines #49 -When networking hour is over – don’t blow out the candle on the table between two people discussing business. You can’t extinguish my candle. This is not Survivor and I may have been creating the next Facebook!

You can’t extinguish my flame!

**Stay snarky my friends!**