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Relationships 101

Thank you guys for taking the time to post comments regarding my last post “Gentlemen know best”. It is great to hear from you and I welcome all your feedback. Consider this single girl blog a social experiment for the both of us. I write about whatever comes to my mind (good and bad) and you give me your honest feedback. There were a few ladies that snuck in and I love that too! But, my overwhelming support and feedback still lies with the men (and guys thanks for the date proposals, I’ll text you my #).   Seriously.  😉

I know my female readers are strong and successful and not afraid of their own shadow. So tell me, where are you?single girl blog

I wanted to take the time to post some of the best and most logical reasons in regards to why more men read my blog than women and here are some of the great comments from you guys. This opens my eyes though I had a funny feeling about a few of these reasons. Keep them coming….(don’t worry  – I get to my guydline after the comments so keep reading).

Dave aka “el Diablo” -“I have some theories of why guys read your blog more then girls, but I cannot prove my theories to be accurate, hence they are just theories.                                                                                                                  1) You have more guy friends then girl friends.
2) Girls are jealous of other girls hence don’t want to give your blog the time of day.
3) The only reason I read your blog is I like you, and I want to support what you do. If I did not know you I would not seek out to read it. Mainly cause I don’t read in general so this is even more of a compliment to you, and the only things that really do interest me as far as reading are sports, gambling, sex and travel.
4) I highly doubt guys are trying to sneak around to read your blog but I like your active imagination. They would probably sneak porn, not Melany’s blog.
5) Interesting point made about why chivalry may be dead and it could be do to women’s lib.  That’s my two cents coming from a jew!

Rob-Hey Dave, Agree with you. Melany, don’t worry about the girls. There will always be jealousy among them. Possibly you are too pretty. Too smart. Not out to follow the crowd. I always see them in packs. They are usually pretty ugly and insecure. Guess they can’t think for themselves. Maybe they see too much truth and see themselves and don’t like it. If they don’t support you – too bad. They should be happy that someone tells the truth.

Nina-ok. This is from my prospective only. Melanie, you have some interesting columns. First of all, maybe the guys like it b/c you are cute. Secondly, as they say ” beware of the green eyed monster”. You have obviously struck a nerve with some women. Just sayin’. That just means that they have some insecurities and this blog brings them out. Maybe you just hit too close to home.

Miguel-who knew that it’s GUYS who are reading your BLOGS. I knew it was true because guys can laugh at other guy’s short comings with YOU and relate more than a girl. Keep up with the BLOGS. I’ve enjoyed everyone !!!

Ryan-Funny blog indeed. ..and if you give me your number, guaranteed, I’ll call ya

Now, enough stroking egos, lets get back to what is going on this week. I think my next blog should be about why puppies are the best wingmen? They are. You know that they will always look good and grab the attention of the opposite sex for the right reason (and not for dressing like Miss Piggy).  You will always be proud of them walking by your side. There is never the feeling of embarrassment when you are going out and your friend is wearing an outfit she saw in a magazine, which was never meant to be worn in real life. You will never have to tell your new wingman that her outfit was made for a photo and not for her body because you know how girls can be and have to hold your tongue. So, you get to enjoy the rest of your day walking next to a walking quilt in black go go boots while guys turn their heads to laugh (not to check out her black and red checkered ass). No dates for you. Just buy her a mirror and hope she can honestly see her reflection. Again, why it is time for a new wingman?

Puppies take very little time grooming and you never have to wait for them to get ready.  This is a luxury compared to your friend who walks around with the entire MAC cosmetic store in her purse along with a copious supply of hair straightening products from the local beauty supply store. Her face melts off in the heat and her hair always has a kink but she insists on carrying everything with her to every place you go (yes, even the gym). None of the things she schleps around are helping but you smile and grin while waiting for her to haul her suitcase full of costume supplies around. Puppies don’t do this.

You don’t have to lie to your puppy and tell them they don’t look fat in their outfit because you just don’t dress your dog in clothing (that is reserved for the most attention starved people like Paris Hilton). But, trust me here. Lie to your friend. You don’t want to be the one who told your friend she looked fat. Let that fall on some other girl. Trust me. Puppies don’t get fat. Fact.

So, you are honest and your friend gets mad because what you are telling her does not make her happy. Like the friend I had in high school. We were so close and we told each other everything. Then one day, I saw her boyfriend with another girl and thought that she should know. I told her and she got mad at me. Never again. Honesty is not always the best policy and puppies know this. They even lick people they don’t like. You have to play the game. Right?

You never have to pretend to listen to what a puppy says and they don’t talk behind your back. A puppy just sits and lovingly agrees. Sure, maybe a little bark or whine once in while but it beats a backstabbing wingman (aka “friend”) any day.  A wingman is an interesting concept. They are there to support you in your quest for fun and companionship but can turn on you in the blink of an eye. Just watch out because there are many of them out there and they are good at what they do.

Puppies take instruction and treat you like their best friend no matter what. They could care less if you are ugly, pretty, fat, short, or anything other than attractive. They support you unconditionally and are always there for you. Isn’t that the true meaning of a good friend or wingman?

Depending on their size, puppies can be a cheap date and will never ask you for money or other material objects in which case they can’t be guilty of using you in any way. Puppies don’t care about where you live, what car you drive, or how you dress. A smart man once told me to leave my wallet in my purse. From now on, I have learned my lesson and that is where my pocketbook shall remain. Puppies appreciate everything.

A wingman is not always ready to go out. They have a million excuses why not to go out like aches, pains, nails are not dry or the ex ’s cousin’s brother may be at the bar you are going to that night. Puppies are always ready to go out on the town or kick back and watch a movie. Puppies don’t flake! They won’t promise you one thing and then do something else.

Never, ever will a puppy steal your boyfriend/girlfriend or make out with him (if that happens you have more problems than I can help you with here).

Puppies play well with others and are friendly to everyone no matter what. Most importantly, they will never betray you.

Maybe everyone needs to take some lessons from man’s best friend.

Melany’s Guydline #26  – There may be a little shit to pick up from your puppy and put in the garbage but that is much better than all the bullshit from some of your wingmen. Wish I could throw some of mine in the trash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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16 Responses to Relationships 101

  1. Green December 4, 2012 at 9:05 am #

    I hear ya! Valo has never let me down!!

  2. miguel nolasco December 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    Melany you are spot on when it comes to a “wing men or wing women” . But I WILL STILL USE THEM. Don’t worry that you don’t have enough FEMALE READERS . US men will always be here for YOU. ( this was a 5 star blog)

    • Melany December 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

      Thanks!! Yeah – 5 stars!!!

  3. Nathan December 4, 2012 at 11:11 pm #

    You’re sure right on with this one. My dogs have always been my best friend. At least I can trust mine.

  4. Natalie B December 5, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    Thanks Melany, you did it again – You made me choke on my coffee from laughing!

    • Melany December 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm #

      Hope you weren’t wearing white 🙂

  5. Dave Kevoe December 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    One thing I have noticed is that from a guys perspective dogs or puppies def can be used as a wingman as bait for girls. When I use to hike in Runyon canyon, I saw it all the time. I have friends that would bring their dogs to the park for one reason and one reason only. One comment that I thought was funny from a friend who bought a puppy for the specific reason it would help him in the dating world is, “Dave its not working” Why not Joe? Cause the girls know my dogs name more then they know mine. I guess you need to have a little more game then just a dog. I agree with you about the wingman to a point. Its good for the outdoors, but you can hardly bring your best friend into the bars with you. And that’s my two cents coming from a jew.

    • Melany December 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

      Always great comments! I think you are at least a $1.

  6. Ernie Brannon December 6, 2012 at 4:54 am #

    I just stumbled onto your blog. My only comment is “dang, you are a looker” 🙂

  7. Karel December 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    Hey Mel, just got lucky & popped onto you. Oh boy (hee hee) can I relate, only wish I’d been as aware as you, as a younger women. Not complaining, for loving my new sexy years, just saying. I’ve always had more guy friends, than the gals, give you one guess as to why. Yep, that ugly green monster, however its even a problem with “my” guys. The entitlement they feel, an ownership of sorts, the egos, games, if not just plain old brown boring … Bullshit !!! Its not easy being a super star, hey but someone’s got to do it. And so very glad for your success, keep em coming (no pun intended) just came out that way. Ah perhaps that’s why the guys do like me so, I’ve the tomboy in a very feminine girl, that’s for sure. All in good fun, but do enjoy what I’ve read of yours so far, very much. So thanks again hun.

    • Melany December 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

      Thank you so much for this comment! It is wonderful to hear from a rockstar and you put a huge smile on my face. Happy you found me and that you like my blogs! Thanks for the support and keep coming back and comment.

  8. Deb December 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    There is one other thing the guys use as “date bait”…babies/toddlers. Yup , your own children are drawing women to your man, married or not…just because the kiddos are so darn cute! Sure, he’ll just say he’s giving you a break by taking the babies to the park…but be wary, my friend…it can spell the beginning of the end of your relationship. So, my advice on this scenario is..just go to the park anyway, even if all you do while you are there is to make your presence known. It’s unfortunate and exhausting, but try to keep your eyes open for this sneaky ploy.

    • Melany December 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

      Thanks Deb! Very good point!

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