funny

Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

By Melany on November 3, 2015 in Greatest Hits, Relationships, Snarky

I am in Los Angeles for the week and thought I would revisit a post that describes how living in Los Angeles is not like what you see on TV. There are some great parts about living in Southern California (including the weather and the shopping) but there are some other reasons that make it challenging to live and navigate this harsh environment (they could probably film an episode of Naked and Afraid in some parts of LA). So, while I am in Beverly Hills, I thought I would share one of my favorite snarky posts and see if you… Continue Reading

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Must Have Lotion For Fall: Vaseline Intensive Care Advanced Repair Spray

By Melany on October 20, 2015 in Goodies

Wow. That went fast. I blinked and summer is over. Sad face. I love the sun but the sun doesn’t love my skin that much. Since relocating part time to Arizona I have visited the dermatologist more than I would like but it makes me even more neurotic about caring for my skin! One of the reasons I moved to AZ is to take advantage of being outside as much as possible. Of course, this doesn’t apply when it is 115 degrees outside and hard to breathe while standing in the desert. Right now, we are having amazing weather and… Continue Reading

Happy Almost #DressLikeASlutDay

By Melany on October 19, 2015 in Snarky

Happy October and you should all be preparing your costumes for Halloween by now. If you haven’t (like me) then you better get your ass in gear because it is coming up quickly. What I have done to prepare is cleanse myself with a 5 day cleanse. No, it was not easy but yes, totally worth it. I almost ate my own arm last night but was saved by a breakfast burrito to break the fast. I couldn’t take a pic because it didn’t last that long and I don’t typically take pics of food (I’ll leave that to all… Continue Reading

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Everyone’s Favorite Snack and Win $100 From Fiber One

By Melany on October 11, 2015 in Goodies

Fiber One is literally everyone’s favorite snack. Just look at the comments I have received doing these posts! While working on the Fiber One campaign, I have had almost 1000 messages from people of all walks of life leaving reasons from A-Z as to why they eat these tasty treats. The cat is out of the bag that Fiber One rocks (but don’t let the cat steal all of them). Plus, I am so happy to be able to tantalize those (very) few people who have not had the opportunity to try them yet! I didn’t even realize what a… Continue Reading

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Going #DestinationCountry With Jessica Northey for Pepsi Gulf Coast Jam 2015

By Melany on September 2, 2015 in Goodies

Hey y’all! That sounds a little weird coming from my rock n’ roll mouth but is super appropriate for this weekend’s festivities. I am stoked to have been invited by Jessica Northey (a.k.a. hostess with the mostest from CMChat and HeyStar) on behalf of Firestone Tires to cover the Pepsi Gulf Coast Summer Jam this Labor Day Weekend in Panama City, Florida. So, you know what that means? It means you better follow the both of us on social because we are sure to bring you super exclusive content from the show. And….if you are there…don’t forget to find us!… Continue Reading

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That Sh*t Cray: Kanye West MTV Video Vanguard NO!

By Melany on August 25, 2015 in Goodies, Snarky

Yes, you just read that right??!!!! I receive so many press releases but this one….I have to make time to share. Kanye West receives the video vanguard award from MTV. I can’t believe what I am reading. The music business has just solidified the fact that pop music is completely in the shitter. The music business has just solidified the fact that pop music is completely in the shitter. Click To Tweet LOS ANGELES, CA – August 25, 2015 – MTV is set to award Kanye West with the VMA’s highest honor, the “Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award,” for… Continue Reading

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You Say Rebellious, I Say Snarky Humor: Shoebox Cards

By Melany on August 25, 2015 in Goodies

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Shoebox. All snarky thoughts are of course my own. People love jokes and funny sayings. It is a given. We all love to laugh in one way or another. It is good for your soul. I don’t call myself the queen of snark for no reason. I know a thing or two about rebellious humor and love to live life in the snark lane. If you haven’t been paying attention “Snarky is witty but younger and better looking”. Life is hard enough as it is so I firmly believe… Continue Reading

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Join Me On Ten Minutes In Tinsel Town With Miz Meliz Tonight 7/14

By Melany on July 14, 2015 in Goodies

Join Me On Ten Minutes In Tinsel Town With Melissa Reyes Tonight 7/14

One of my favorite southern California Lady Bloggers has created a cool new show called, “Ten Minutes In Tinsel Town” and she has invited me to be a guest this today Tuesday, July 14 at 6PM. It is streams live via Blab and Meerkat. Jump on it as it is sure to be a great show plus it is Melissa’s Birthday so we will be partying Tinsel Town style. BTW – I thought it was a podcast a first since I had never heard of Blab and had to clarify with her about the interface. Good, because I needed… Continue Reading

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Happy Father’s Day: The Snarky Version

By Melany on June 21, 2015 in Relationships, Snarky

I have been waiting since Mother’s Day to post this photo my mom found of my dad! Guess which one he is? Yep, the one on the left. Nice bird. Ha!! This probably explains where my sense of humor comes from!! Lol. Happy Father’s Day to the best daddy ever! I love you and wish I was there to spend this day together. Thank you for being the best ever! Hugs n’ Kissezz from Gizmo, Teddy Brewski and me of course!! ‪ So, does this explain where I get my snarky from? So, does this explain where I get my… Continue Reading

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Blow Me: It’s My Birthday

By Melany on June 11, 2015 in Snarky

NA NA NA NA NA NA you say it’s your birthday! It is my Birthday too…..tomorrow (June 12). But, who is counting? I stopped a long time ago. Cheers to all of you! Thank you for making MelanysGuydlines so much fun. It has been a wild ride these past few years but cheers to many, many more! For my birthday, I want all of you to keep reading, following and sharing (and for the Golden State Warriors to win tonight)! For my birthday, I want all of you to keep reading, following and sharing (and for the Golden State Warriors… Continue Reading

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I Created A Snarky Holiday

By Melany on June 8, 2015 in Snarky

If doughnuts can have a holiday, I can create a new holiday. National don't be an asshole day. Now, who do I need to talk to to make that happen?

Today is the beginning of my birthday week! Yay! My mom is flying (to Arizona and yes it is hot) to play with me all week long so I will probably be doing a lot more shopping and a lot less blogging. I hope you can forgive me if I am a little MIA for the next few days but I need to shop and shop some more. But, before I go I leave you with a snarky guydline for your viewing pleasure. This is for all of you posting pics of fried dough while I am on a cleanse…. Continue Reading

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The Perfect Gift For Your Ex-Boyfriend: The Man Bowl

By Melany on June 1, 2015 in Relationships, Snarky

Depending how long you have been following my blog you may remember a little post called the Snark Tank! I need to do this segment because there are way too many funny items that are actually sold in stores that you might never get a chance to see. Today, I was sent a press release for one of those items. So, I am doing my civic duty with this post to present you with a must have ….for “dawgs” like my ex-boyfriend. You may know someone that is deserving of this little gem and he may still be in… Continue Reading

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