6 Things You’re Probably Doing to Turn off Men Without Even Realizing it

I have a special treat for you today! We have a guest post from a guy’s perspective! Too bad I am guilty of some of these things (5 and 6). HA. Take it away Patrick!

Guys love girls. We love the way they smell. We love the way they walk. We love the way they dress in the summer, and the way they snuggle up to us at night.

We love it when they laugh at our jokes. And when they let down their hair. Guys love girls but, still, there are a few things girls do that we don’t love.

Almost just as easily as men get turned on, we get turned off. And for some reason or another, we’re afraid to admit these things to you. So, most of you don’t even know what your unsettling little habits are. Most of you don’t even know why or how you’ve been turning men off all these years. Don’t worry. I’ve volunteered to be the barer of bad news.

Here is a list of 6 things you’re probably doing to turn off men without even realizing it.

1. You try too hard. Guys hate it when girls try too hard to look good every time you go out.

6 Things You're Probably Doing to Turn off Men Without Even Realizing it

We don’t want to wait 2 hours while you shower, shave, change outfits ten times, put on makeup, dry your hair, curl your hair, put up your hair, take down your hair, just to get ready for dinner.

We’re hungry and we’d rather spend all that time with you. Plus, guys rarely notice all the work girls put in. Now don’t get me wrong, we love a beautiful, nicely groomed lady, but we appreciate her more when it’s effortless.

Guys also hate it when girls try too hard to impress their friends and family. We want you to be sweet and attentive, but not fake.

Men love women who are genuine.

2. You talk shit. This is the most unattractive thing that a lot of women spend way too much time doing. I don’t think it’s funny to make fun of strangers at the grocery store. I don’t think it’s cool to rag on your “best friend” because she can’t get a boyfriend. I don’t think it’s mature to bitch about your mother because she doesn’t want to loan you money for rent.

Guys don’t waste (as much) time talking about people behind their backs. It’s immature, conniving and just plain mean. I’ve seen way too many women get way too excited talking shit about other people. Some women actually bond with women by talking about other women that aren’t them. Yes, you are good at talking shit. No, that is not a compliment.

It’s sad, and a huge turnoff.

3. You get too drunk. Tipsy girls are adorable. Drunk girls are a mess.

6 Things You're Probably Doing to Turn off Men Without Even Realizing it

Not cute!

We don’t want to see you dancing on tables with your underwear hanging out. We don’t want to apologize to your friends for you and your offensive slurs. And we certainly don’t want to escort you home from the bar while you tease us with sexual pleas and then throw up on new sneakers.

Getting that drunk every weekend insinuates that you don’t know how to handle your liquor. We’ll assume that you can’t have fun sober.

You don’t have to get hammered to be the fun girl. You don’t have to die of a hangover just to be the life of the party. And if you do, we’re probably not interested.

4. You’re clingy. Yes, we like to be desired. Yes, we like to feel loved. But, there is a fine line between caring about us and being obsessed. We all want what we can’t have… so try being less available. Make us want to get to know you. Evoke some mystery. Don’t make us sick of you after one week. It makes you look desperate.

Men like women who are independent. We like women who have their own lives. It makes us want to have our own lives and that’s healthy.

We like it when they trust us. A little bit of jealousy is normal; too much is annoying and sometimes even offensive.

5. You spend too much time on social media. Girls who are tied to their cellphones raise a red flag for me.


What are you doing on that thing? Who are you stalking? What are you watching? Why can’t you just be happy with me in this moment? Guys like girls who are present. We like girls that are confident, girls that don’t compare themselves to Instagram models.

Girls who post a ton of selfies, or overly sexy photos, can also be a bit of a turn off, especially if I’m in a relationship with you. It makes me feel like you need validation from your followers, like you don’t believe you’re beautiful. You are beautiful, and if you’re my girlfriend, I’m going to remind you of that every day. Isn’t that enough?

6. You’re dramatic. We know that (most) women are programed to be more emotional than us. We even like that about you. You’re sensitive; therefore you’re going to make a great mother one day, which is ideal in a serious partner.

What’s not ideal is a total drama queen. In my experience, I can’t help but feel like some women think it’s attractive to make a huge scene over something totally minor. That’s partially our faults, guys. We are too quick to amuse these temper tantrums. We are too wiling to be the heroes.

We should make women happy; however, there are certain lengths that should not have to be taken to do that. If we wanted to hang out with a crybaby, we would get a job in babysitting, or knock somebody up. We want to hang out with the mature woman you claimed to be on our first date.


Patrick Banks is a full-time dating coach and blogger. He helps people around the world boost their social interactions, find love, and enhance their self-esteem. You can check out his blog Wingman Magazine and recommend it to your male friends!

Thanks Patrick!


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