Trick or Turn Tricks?

Happy Halloween! I love this holiday and it is not because I can dress like a slut. Halloween reminds me of my childhood and good times with my family; carving pumpkins, eating too much candy (that my mom would sort for me, do parents still care?), decorating the house, watching scary movies, and baking pumpkin seeds. Yes, in the past, I too have dressed with all my lady lumps hanging out and squeezed myself into something I would never be caught wearing in public.dummies I am not sure at what age it became mandatory to dress like a hooker, but it is fantastic people watching to make fun of all the dummies that should leave wearing slutty outfits to the drag queens on Santa Monica Blvd. (because at least they have nice legs) and women who weigh under 125lbs. or built like little boys. All the other ladies – try something else. It is not cute (but I do love making fun of you).

Facebook is littered with photos of groups of ladies wearing a variety of way too tight, Marilyn Manson-esque, and the “you belong on the corner” costumes. Once in a while, I see something a girl is wearing and think they look great. Most of the time they look like they went shopping on Hollywood Blvd and bought whatever they could zip up. Just because your skinny friends are wearing the costume, does not mean you should buy one, get it altered 3 sizes larger than was originally designed, and try to pose with your arm at your hip and think no one will notice that you look like a cow (even if you have big boobs). You still look like a cow.

This is a perfect example of a massive epidemic in our society. We are not sheep. Every woman should dress (appropriately) for their body type, wear makeup because it matches their skin tone (and not their much tanner friend’s skin), and think for themselves (even if you are slightly opinionated).  It takes more of a woman to speak her mind (even if your so called “friends” tell her to watch who you talk/write about), wear what looks good on you, and march to the beat of your own drum. After taking inventory on facebook, some of my best looking/skinny friends (most confident) went as overweight truck drivers, deathly creatures, and zombies this Halloween. These ladies have been in my life forever and I now know why. We never followed the leader, but were and are leaders who travel independently from the herd of (sluts) sheep.

Women are taught that traveling in a herd is socially acceptable from a young age. Take doing time in a sorority. They are taught that you must dress like your sisters, think like them, hook up with the same guys, and share each other’s makeup and clothing. No, you should not! I pledged a sorority (for 24 hours) and it was clear to me that I was NOT part of the herd when I was reprimanded for not passing the food, counter clockwise and by seniority around the dinner table. This was my exit sign. But, I see women following other women in packs because that is what everyone else is doing.

Melanys Guydline #22 Do not dress like a slut because everyone else is doing it. Do it because you ARE a slut (some of you really are, so disregard and carry on with what you already do). 

**Stay snarky my friends!**


8 Responses to Trick or Turn Tricks?

  1. Green October 31, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    I’ll take zombies, vampires and scary creatures any day over ‘slutty’ pirate lol XOXO

    • Melany October 31, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

      For sure! And you get to show your amazing makeup skills!!

  2. miguel nolasco October 31, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

    Dang Melany i confess i was a 140 pound Slut every year before 1996 on Halloween.(come on every fifth guy would do if he wanted to show women how he wanted them to dress 364 days of the year) As for the men of Santa Monica Blvd they own those clothes they wear and not to borrow them for one night. And as speaking as a short time GOTHIC MAN – “it’s not how you look ,but, how you feel and move in female clothing “. NYON and LACE are still what i love to touch on any size woman. But please always Black for going out, white when i marry you and anyother color behind closed Bedroom doors.

  3. miguel nolasco October 31, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    MELANY U R SO CUTE !! Did they break the mold when you were born. YOU are a 10 in my book. you are a very funny woman. and if you found my above comment funny , thank you.

  4. Erin November 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    So true!!!! I will never forget the year Phelps won all of his gold medals….soooooo many gay boys running around in speedos!!!! Sooooo many gay boys should NOT run around in speedos!!! 😉

    • Melany November 5, 2012 at 8:31 am #

      OMG! Too funny! Is that why you don’t like Halloween? LOL

  5. Heather Christianson November 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

    Every year I just want to scream at the girls and say “just because it’s Halloween, does not mean your body just got hot!”

    • Melany November 10, 2012 at 10:03 am #

      HAHA! You should. I would love to see that 🙂

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