Tis’ the Season To Shop! Snarky Holiday Gift Guide 2014 PART I

Tis th Season to shop: Snarky Holiday Gift guide 2014

Tis th Season to shop: Snarky Holiday Gift guide 2014

In the spirit of the shopping madness that has become more important to some people than turkey stuffing or football, without further adieu let me present you with my snarky shopping guide. Currently, I am in the process of moving, remodeling my new place, running this blog, and I think I feel a sniffle but I always have time to stay snarky and present you with the coolest products and events that come across my laptop. Plus, I love to shop and am a total product nut so it is not too difficult to do. This year is a bit different because I have made some even more interesting and snarkier discoveries than last, which are super fun gifts, will not break the bank and are sure to the be the answer to “ the question, “what do you get someone who has everything?”

As the rain starts falling so does the white fluffy stuff from the sky. I don’t know about you but it is time for a vacay! Time to retreat and take a vacation to the mountains, throw some wood slabs on your feet and go boarding.

Take a flight on Southwest, book a room from and travel with me. Let’s go!

You ready? Well, I always want to make sure I am wearing the latest and greatest rock inspired gear from head to toe.

I make sure to pack my ICJUK shirts and apparel because not only do they make you stand out like a rockstar, they are super comfy to wear.

ICJUK warm weather clothes! Rock n Roll!

ICJUK warm weather clothes! Rock n’ Roll!

To complete my rockstar look, I throw on a Beardski.


Which one is me? Can you guess?

These not only make the best gifts but are super cool looking and come in a variety of colors and styles. They will for sure keep your head and face warm while turning heads on the slope.

For your toes, of course you need to keep those warm too so throw on a pair of the bomb socks from Kito Flex. The socks are dope and infused with a mixture of Houston culture and inspired by the music that comes from there.

kito brand bomb socks

You are the bomb and should wear gear that reflects that.


Don’t forget your bag! I love my white big purse from Olivia and Joy. It looks like the Prada white and black purse my mom has but a fraction of the cost. It is big enough to carry everything you need, every day!

Olivia and Joy black and white purse

A crowd fav! Olivia and Joy bags rock!


The outfit is literally the bomb – just like Melanysguydlines readers.

When you look so good, why not take a selfie because we are all about selfie improvement.

Grab your glam screen and selfie ring to achieve maximum cuteness in your pics. The Glam Screen was created by Jonathan Cheban, the reality TV star

His selfie tips are as follows and they work:

Glam Screen

Love it! My arms are short and this makes it much easier for me to get the perfect selfie!

1.  It’s all in the angle.  Hold the camera above eye level, angle it down, and turn your face slightly to enhance your best side.  Bonus: no chin or neck sagging, real or otherwise!
2.  Take the selfie in Instagram.  Other apps and camera phones flip your photo so that the picture is the opposite of how you see it. Instagram’s ‘right side up’ is usually more flattering, not to mention a better reproduction of what you look like to yourself.
3.  Don’t use a flash – it overexposes the photo.  Natural light creates a softer look.  Work with the filters to enhance the lighting – and if you want to get edgy, try black and white.
4.  Forget close-ups. If you have long arms, use them to hold the camera at length to capture a distance between the camera and your face. If you don’t, invest in a selfie ring to help stabilize shaking.
5.  Look behind you. The wrong background can spoil your selfie – either because it’s ugly, embarrassing, or makes it look like you’ve got trees growing out of your head. Remember: you are (partially) your surroundings. Ignore them at your peril.

Now that your selfies are posted time to move on!

What does a rockstar do after a tough day on the slopes?

Throw on a pair of UGGS immediately and get a drink!

UGG Australia Free Shipping Free Returns

If you are more a flip and flop kind of person then grab those super cool flip-flops from Solar Active International called CaliMojos.

Calimojo flip flops

Super cute! Love mine.

They are the first line of sun-activated UV color-changing footwear. As soon as your tootsies warm up from the sun the flip changes color and design. Too cute and you know how much I love flip and flop.

You know what sounds really good? Beer! I have just the thing for you –a homemade beer Brewing Kit.

Now, beer enthusiasts can add a special punch to their home brewed beer with Craft A Brew’s special Oktoberfest Ale beer making kit. They come in a variety of flavors so whatever floats your pilsner- they have it.

Craft a beer brewing kit

So yummy and super easy!


Look I have my very own MelanysGuydlines cigar set and you can design yours too from Custom Tobacco. Sit back, relax, grab a brewski (of course you know I love the Brewski since I named my dog Teddy Brewski) light up your own custom cigar and chill!


Melanysguydlines custom tobacco cigars

Awesome! Love my custom tobacco Melanysguydlines cigars.

I am relaxed just thinking about it but why not chill one step further and jump into a Jacuzzi bath? That sounds Ah-mazing right now.

In my bathtub, I have the cutest bath bombs and bubbly making products from Enfusia blends for bath. They look like cupcakes and smell like heaven. And for all of us that are getting a little older, drop in the muscle tension bomb to ease the aches and pains. I do!

Enfusia bath products

Smells so good! Does the trick!

Don’t forget to light your candles from Old Factory Candles.

They offer a variety of candle gift sets so if you want to transport yourself to the spa or even the tropics – they have you covered. I mean Teddy is even digging the smell! Can you blame him?

Old Factory candle gift set

Teddy loves the smell of Old Factory Candles and so do it!

You can get these bad boys through Amazon and I have already gifted mine so, maybe I need a new batch? Click below and grab them now!

And with any good bath, you need a good blog or book right?

When you are not reading Melanysguydlines – can I recommend the hysterical book called “Kosher Porn” for you to read? No, not just for your friends that celebrate Hanukkah but for everyone! A little snarky humor always puts me in the best mood and this does not disappoint. How could it with a name like that?

Kosher Porn Book

You know I will always lead you in the right direction for a good laugh! Kosher Porn is full of snarky, humor.

Kosher Porn Jdate profile


Use this link below to get your copy!

I know that was a lot of snark to digest so, why don’t we continue this in a few days?



**Stay snarky my friends!**

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6 Responses to Tis’ the Season To Shop! Snarky Holiday Gift Guide 2014 PART I

  1. Esther B December 4, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

    I have been looking forward to reading this. I wonder what surprises you have for us for the holiday season.

    • Melany December 5, 2014 at 5:59 am #

      Stay tuned! More to come.

  2. miguel nolasco December 4, 2014 at 7:06 pm #

    I’m not one to brag ..but I have everything instead of a HOT ROCKER CHICK GIRLFRIEND…just kidding ..some of this stuff is WAY COOL… I would love to own half this neat stuff ..but I would LOVETO HAVE A CUTE BLONDE GILFRIEND still too..peace

    • Melany December 5, 2014 at 5:59 am #

      Awwww! Yep. Good luck with that – there are some cool blondes out there in LALA land.

  3. Ali December 4, 2014 at 8:29 pm #

    “Your Mom can erase your Jdate profile”…brilliant.

    • Melany December 5, 2014 at 5:59 am #

      Love that! Too funny!

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