What happens when you combine a tablespoon of snark, a dash of cynicism and heaps of truth? You get a delicious little nugget of credence called the “Guydline”.
Guydlines are theories rooted deeply in life’s greatest successes and failures. They’re words to live by, wisdom to share, and if you can find a cool font or latin translation– perhaps something to permanently tattoo on your body.
As my father would say, “Big hat, no cattle” or in other words “when they say they are, they are not” (and consider it a friendly warning to ALL of you not be taken by big HATS) Melany’s Guydline #14.
Guydlines come in all shapes, sizes and degrees of importance. They can remind you there’s a pothole around after the second stop light on the way to the office or they can save you from committing to a relationship that’s plagued with red flags. You can profess Guydlines like scripture, and herd your friends like sheep when they inevitably hold true. Or you could be that guy in the bar that drops knowledge bombs on those around you, even when they’re not necessarily asking for it. Just don’t be creepy, man — be cool. Be Sam Elliot in The Big Lebowski cool. I don’t need you ruining the Guydline’s good name.
Do not dress like a slut because everyone else is doing it. Do it because you ARE a slut (some of you really are, so disregard and carry on with what you already do). — Melany’s Guydline #22
So with all that said, we’re dying to hear some of our readers’ best Guydlines. The beautiful thing about a GL is they nestle comfortably in 140 characters, so tweeting them @melanyb12 is a cinch. With a #Guydline hashtag, I think we can start throwing some serious wisdom around the twittersphere. Don’t forget to be clever because the snarkier you are, the better the Guydlines. Details forthcoming about some exciting news in regards to the funniest, wittiest, snarkiest user-submitted guydline.
I’m taking a break from Twitter, but I’ll post here!
#Guydline: To attract that special someone, you must take a long look at yourself and address things that are truly hard. When that doesn’t work, its nice to have your tall, loud friends to step in and tell off all those douche-bags.
Totally! Love my tall friends 🙂
#Guydline: Be thankful for what you don’t have in you life more than what you do have! Because what you don’t have could be so much worse!
If you want to get married and hate sex then marry a gay guy . this way he can fix your hair, talk about your clothes. watch all those Housewives show and if he wants sex then he can find one of his friends. Perfect marriage.
Great #guydline. Thanks Annette.
My mama always told me to stand up straight & pull my shoulders back to make my boobs look bigger. It works!
It does work!