Top

Subscribe!

Twitter

16 Things Not To Do At (Any/Social Media) Conference

1. Not knowing your competition. Know if anyone is dominating your niche in the market. I am 70% sure there may be someone doing what you think you have created. Can’t you hear Drunk Uncle from SNL saying “I’m prrrrrrrreetttttyyyy suuuuuurrrrrree…..” someone is already doing that? Do your research! 2. Do not wear high heels during the day so you look like a wounded stork walking through the hotel. This will make people notice you but not in a good way and then you can’t attend the rest of the conference and have to call in wounded the second day…. Continue Reading

Continue Reading 22

Vanity Fair Social Club: Melanysguydlines Makeover

Vanity Fair Social club

Happy Saturday! I am so happy that it is the weekend because I NEED to catch up on rest. I felt like I was a walking zombie yesterday completely deprived of sleep because I had a crazy week! Vanity Fair hosted a Social Club for bloggers where we were able socialize and grab free stuff! People are starting to recognize the importance of social media influencers and I love every minute and freebie of it. Vanity Fair and the sponsors had the most amazing creation. Picture a vending machine stocked of full adult size products from Vanity Fair, Lancome, Clarasonic,… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 10

Bye Cold But, I’m Keeping the Funny, Sexy Voice!

Prince charming is living with mr right

I am back from Vegas and have a cold. It is not fantastic because I am still hungry but can’t taste anything so forget about losing weight while sitting here with my thumb up my ass.  It is not awesomely dehydrating like the stomach flu where you magically lose 5 pounds. It is more like I am bloated like a puffer fish from the sodium in soup I have been ordering from the local LA Delicatessens. At least I have been able to catch up on taxes, which may actually be the worst thing in life besides moving or a… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Melany’s Movember Mutterings

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain. -Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Online Dating Advice: Felony Melany Style

Melany Felony Online dating tips

It was a rainy day here in Los Angeles so I decided to play with YouTube a little more. There are so many instructional videos for your instructional video on how to make a YouTube video. They tell you what to do, what not to do, what lighting to use, that you should stand on your head and play a tuba while blowing another bubble out of your ass, wear a donkey suit with a big clown nose down to what to say and what not to say. It is overwhelming to say the least so I just say what… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 12

Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

Melanysguydline You tube

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 12

Why Do People Like Memes? | Top 19 Reasons Why Memes Are Popular

jealousy meme

MEMES – people love them!!! What is a meme? These are the “snarky” & funny pictures I post on Facebook, Twitter, Social Media and this blog. We are all a bit lazy (not you of course) and need instant gratification whether it is in work, relationships, dating, or even our social media consumption. Most people don’t like to read, so putting a thumbs up on a meme is so much easier than doing anything else like uh, ……reading? It’s ok – my Facebook wouldn’t be as fun without them. I have noticed some trends with the meme community. People love… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 29

Melanysguydlines joins the Kardashians & Tom Brady on the Lango App!

melanysguydlines on Lango

What do Kim Kardashian, Breaking Bad, Colin Kaepernick, Tom Brady, and Garfield have in common with Melanysguydlines.com (besides being awesome)? First, let me just say what an honor it is to be part of this amazing list. Second, the Lango App has immortalized us all in animation! I guess success can be measured by the amount of animated icons a person has. It is no longer just enough to have your own doll but the Lango App icons are where it is at and I have my very own pack.     What is Lango? Well, it is an App… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame For my last and final installment of the AllFacebook AllTwitter Social Media conference I will give a few snarky “guydlines” to the professionals on the panels. They need all the help they can get to try and keep these people attending the conference awake! I know this was a long-winded blog post series but these points needed to be made and I needed to make them! Come on? You know what I am talking about. I am totally OCD, ADD and forgot what the first post was about by now… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, ALL Nerds Part 2 – Billy Idol should host the next one

Here is the second installment for “guydlines” to the AllFacebook and AllTwitter Social Media Conference in San Francisco (first part here).….come on, if you are going to attend a social media conference and drop the dough (or have your boss drop the cash)  at least make it worth your while or pretend to be interested or just ACT like your interested. I mean you had to get dressed and go to the conference – don’t make it a wasted good makeup or great hair day.  Do something people – look alive. Tweeting incessantly during a lecture about Twitter is probably… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Twitter Follower Appreciation pt. 2 : 5,000!

Twitter Birds

OK kids, as promised it’s time to throw a bone to the best friends a blog could ask for — our snarky Twitter followers!  Last month we put together a little thank you once we reached the 3,000 benchmark.  This time, you’ve stepped it up a notch with your love & loyalty, so we’ll reciprocate.  In 2013, so it’s only polite to throw heaps of praise at individuals we’ll never meet.  Did I develop crushes on some of you while I scoured your accounts for funny tweets? It’s possible…. Without further ado, our Melany’s Guydlines Twitter showcase, round 2. Five… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0