Stupid people

Why People Like Memes 4: Extra Snarky

By Melany on May 13, 2015 in Snarky

I have not done an installment of “Why People Like Memes” in a few months and since I am moving slower than my ex-boyfriend running for the last piece of cake at a party, I am pleased to present you with a few extra guydlines for your snarky, reading pleasure. Enjoy and hope you are having a stellar Tuesday morning. BTW – I am using the number 4 for this one since I get confused the higher the Roman Numeral goes. K? Better to be safe than sorry and called out by trolls later down the line, right? I am… Continue Reading

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Don’t Do These Things At A Social Media Conference

By Melany on March 24, 2015 in Relationships, Snarky

How big is your Klout? #smmw15pickuplines15

And…. commence packing ….again! I hate packing but have decided not to fully empty my suitcase any more because I am always on the road. Thanks to BMW for giving me this M suitcase so I can travel in style. And where am I off to next? Well, Social Media Marketing World in San Diego, CA. This is by far one of the best conferences and I highly suggest attending if you have the chance. Last year, I wrote a post called 16 Things Not To Do At (Any/Social Media) Conference and I just re-read that post and LOL’d. No… Continue Reading

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The Top 10 Most Annoying Top 10 Lists

By Melany on January 23, 2015 in Snarky

I want to create a top 10 list of the most annoying top 10 lists. Yes, you read that right. Can you help me with this? I would love to know what types of top lists fill your feed or your time line. Whatever. Don’t be shy and I wont judge….well, I will but snarky commentary never hurt anyone. I already asked this question on twitter and Facebook and got some good answers but need more to compile a list. Note: I will never title it the “complete” list of the top 10 most annoying lists because that is annoying… Continue Reading

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The Dumbest, Smart Place in the World: The Curse Of Levi’s Stadium

By Melany on November 29, 2014 in Snarky

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed family, friends, turkey and football! I did but had an experience that I need to share with you because it was too funny not to write about. Here are my tips for the next time you attend a football game on Thanksgiving Day anywhere in the US but especially at Levi’s Stadium in aka the home of the San Francisco 49ers. TIP 1 – When going to the new Levi’s Stadium to watch the SF 49ers play (get beat up) on Thanksgiving day, make sure you take a bus and… Continue Reading

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Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

By Melany on November 5, 2014 in Snarky

Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By Melany on October 31, 2014 in Snarky

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter. Now, it is… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

By Melany on October 22, 2014 in Snarky

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

By Melany on October 9, 2014 in Snarky

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Dating Warnings: The Shirt Test

By Melany on September 9, 2014 in Relationships

I have learned a few things navigating the dangerous shark infested dating waters along the West Coast and that is make sure you date a guy before, on and after the first of the month to make sure he sticks around for another month. Don’t get too close too fast because you never really know who or what you are dealing with. Just like the infamous “Dear John” who boasted that he created DSL and walked on water when in reality he couldn’t afford a bottle of Evian and slept on his sisters couch. the infamous “Dear John” who boasted… Continue Reading

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Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

By Melany on September 2, 2014 in Relationships

Social Media rocks and advances in technology are cool but it is killing my dating life. I can’t remember the last time a guy actually picked up the phone and called me. Also, what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. Click To Tweet If we have been talking via the computer or some other typing device I want to meet before Teddy Brewski… Continue Reading

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Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

By Melany on August 11, 2014 in Snarky

Get on the Good Foot by James Brown is my jam

I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is… Continue Reading

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Calling ALL Psycho Friend/Frienemy stories for new video series!

By Melany on June 30, 2014 in Relationships

Calling all psycho friends stories!!!! You know that friend or frienemy? We all have one person that went cray-cray on us a time or two or three (and for some of us lucky people even more than that). I want you to tell me your story about a friend who turned crazy because I am filming a series with fellow humor blogger and twitter celeb- D.J. Paris of Thoughts From Paris. We have been discussing how we can meld our funnies together for a long time now and one of the first “thoughts” we had were “guydlines” for dealing with… Continue Reading

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Stupid people