Top

Subscribe!

humor

Blow Me: It’s My Birthday

Blow Me it's my bday!

NA NA NA NA NA NA you say it’s your birthday! It is my Birthday too…..tomorrow (June 12). But, who is counting? I stopped a long time ago. Cheers to all of you! Thank you for making MelanysGuydlines so much fun. It has been a wild ride these past few years but cheers to many, many more! For my birthday, I want all of you to keep reading, following and sharing (and for the Golden State Warriors to win tonight)! For my birthday, I want all of you to keep reading, following and sharing (and for the Golden State Warriors… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0

I Created A Snarky Holiday

If doughnuts can have a holiday, I can create a new holiday. National don't be an asshole day. Now, who do I need to talk to to make that happen?

Today is the beginning of my birthday week! Yay! My mom is flying (to Arizona and yes it is hot) to play with me all week long so I will probably be doing a lot more shopping and a lot less blogging. I hope you can forgive me if I am a little MIA for the next few days but I need to shop and shop some more. But, before I go I  leave you with a snarky guydline for your viewing pleasure. This is for all of you posting pics of fried dough while I am on a cleanse…. Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

The Perfect Gift For Your Ex-Boyfriend: The Man Bowl

  Depending how long you have been following my blog you may remember a little post called the Snark Tank! I need to do this segment because there are way too many funny items that are actually sold in stores that you might never get a chance to see. Today, I was sent a press release for one of those items. So, I am doing my civic duty with this post to present you with a must have ….for “dawgs” like my ex-boyfriend. You may know someone that is deserving of this little gem and he may still be in… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 12

Bang Your Head…Carefully

Bang Your Head..carefully

Bang your head….carefully! I write a blog but it doesn’t always mean I follow my own advice 100% of the time. I’m human! Plus, I can’t be held accountable when some good tunes come on from Metallica or Godsmack. And…..Teddy Brewski accidentally gave me a black eye. Don’t worry- I’m not pressing charges. But, I have frozen broccoli on my face and think the least he can do is get me some frozen corn for tomorrow. Still waiting to see if I’m concussed but pretty sure I am because I watched The Bachelorette and Dancing With The Stars. Question is… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Why People Like Memes 4: Extra Snarky

Why People Like Memes 4

I have not done an installment of “Why People Like Memes” in a few months and since I am moving slower than my ex-boyfriend running for the last piece of cake at a party, I am pleased to present you with a few extra guydlines for your snarky, reading pleasure. Enjoy and hope you are having a stellar Tuesday morning. BTW – I am using the number 4 for this one since I get confused the higher the Roman Numeral goes. K? Better to be safe than sorry and called out by trolls later down the line, right? I am… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0

Let’s Play Ball: Live With SF Giants Bryan Srabian at AT&T Park Friday 5/7/15 for Social Hangout

Let’s Play Ball: Live With SF Giants Bryan Srabian at AT&T Park Friday 5/7/15 for Social Hangout

I have Matt Williams rookie card in mint condition. My sister was the only girl invited to Barry Bonds birthday party when she was 7. My mom bowled with some of the wives from the SF Giants team circa 70’s and I learned how to fire a softball from the hot corner when I was just a little, snarky one. I grew up playing every sport under the sun. By the time I was in high school, I was an annoying date for any baseball game since I had the ability (and still do) to call pitch location before the… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

MelanysGuydlines: Shorty Awards 2015 Vox Populi Winner In Blogger

MelanysGuydlines at the Shorty Awards 2015

Happy day after the Shorty Awards! Thank you for 577 nominations from my followers which earned this blog the BEST award, the Vox Populi a.k.a. fan favorite in blogger at the 2015 Shorty Awards! That is the one I wanted. I am truly grateful! Plus, I couldn’t imagine having better dates than my parents who have been supportive since day one, no matter what life has thrown our way. It hasn’t EVER been easy but we have always had each other. I love you both! Thanks for sharing this trip and honor with me. I know my sister, Brenna would… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Why I Social Podcast Featuring Melany Berger: Shorty Awards Special

whyisocial podcast with Melany Berger

Happy Shorty Awards Day and Night! The day has finally arrived for the Shorty Awards and I will be attending the show tonight. You can watch it live on ShortyAwards.com! But, before you watch the show make sure to listen to me on the Why I Social Podcast with Chris Barrows. I met (via twitter) Chris through my co-hosting appearances on Social Hangout with Eric Mitchell. Yes, I know that may be confusing to some who are not online as much as we are but I promise you that both of these men are putting out excellent and entertaining content not to be missed. I have been a guest on other podcasts but the Why I Social stands out. Chris is personable and flexible (with my crazy travel schedule). So, what makes his show stand out in a sea of content? Well, as he explains on the Why I Social… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6

What Is A Good Word To Describe Someone Who Is A “DingDong”?

What is a good word to describe someone who is a "dingdong"?

I wonder how many times a day I shake my head at all the idiots I know? When I say that I work as a flytrap for all the stupid people in the world, I really do. So, what does one do when they can’t believe all the stupidy around them? One takes to Facebook to ask for a little help from their real friends. This is a real thread from my snarky friends on Facebook! Thanks to everyone who replied! I told you this was good for a post! When I say I work as a flytrap for all… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0

Jump In Our #SocialBath On #SocialHangout With Eric Mitchell: Guest Michelle Killebrew

Jump In Our #SocialBath On #SocialHangout With Eric Mitchell: Guest Michelle Killibrew

  There is no water shortage in Arizona and I am bathing in a #socialbath glow full of positive bubbles from last weeks #SocialHangout (that trended for nearly 7 hours on twitter). If you missed it, I had the honor of being a guest host along side Eric Mitchell and Vincenzo Landino while we spoke with Tamara McCleary. Tamara is one of the most beautiful women I have had the pleasure of speaking with in my social media journey, both inside and out. There was magic in that show. How much magic? Well, I will just let you know that… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0

Grateful: #SocialHangout Trending on Twitter For 7 Hours

Grateful: #SocialHangout Trending on Twitter For 7 Hours

  Grateful is what I feel today! It is so easy in our lives to get caught up in the minutia of daily tasks and forget to take the time to smell the roses. Life is not always easy but we all need to take the time to be thankful for what we have, the people in our lives and our relationships. I feel extremely blessed to have met some incredible people on this long, strange trip called life. So, this weekend when you are with your friends and family – remember, love one another. Life is too short not… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

March Madness Makes Me Social: Win With ArizonaSOCIAL

ArizonaSOCIAL

It’s one of my favorite times of the year! Bring it on! What am I talking about? I am talking March Madness tournament people. Of course, it makes it a lot sweeter that I just got back from watching my University of Arizona Wildcats win the Pac 12 championship in Las Vegas last week and that they won yesterday for their first showing in the NCAA tournament. If you haven’t noticed I love my sports, music, fashion, snark and can’t help but share with you on this blog. The 6 questions I get asked all the time are: What do… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 6