humor

It’s My Birthday And I Will Do What I Want To

By Melany on June 12, 2016 in Snarky

Another year. Another Birthday. But, this year is going to be the best yet because I have been reciting my mantra and putting these things into place. It is one thing to say them and it is another thing to actually do what you say. So, for my Birthday this year: – I am not doing anything I don’t actually want to do. – I am not feeling obligated to anyone. – I am only doing what makes me happy. So, if you missed it here is the mantra…… Sound like a plan? I do have a little wish though…. Continue Reading

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Melany’s Mantra: Repeat, Rinse And Repeat

By Melany on June 2, 2016 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

Every morning I swear to repeat this mantra. I am going to print it out and hang on my mirror. It is the summer and I want to take some time for myself while still being able to do the things I WANT to do. This means not feeling obligated to do things others think I SHOULD be doing. Here we go. Cue the chanting music and theme lighting. Add a candle and throw in some incense but please spare me the Nag Champa. I think I left that scent back in San Francisco on Haight Street when I was… Continue Reading

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You Can Learn A Lot From A Dog

By Melany on May 24, 2016 in Snarky

Yes, you can learn a lot from a dog. I learn from Teddy Brewski every day. I mean, I learned last night that dogs will eat everything (even asparagus) if the opportunity arises. I will let you know how that goes. But what I really want to share with all of you people is this. As I walk Teddy Brewski and watch him walk his favorite walk every day and he always takes time to smell the roses. He also let’s someone else (me) deal with all of the “garbage”. I have decided to let go of a lot of… Continue Reading

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Plug Me Back In: Hump Day Snarkiness

By Melany on May 18, 2016 in Snarky

Good Morning and happy Hump Day! In celebration of it being just that I thought I would share a little known skill I possess and might need to add to my media kit. I can rap (ish) the entire Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. Yes, that is me in an Uber. Highly recommend using uber when you feel a little happy of have a drink or 4. It is awesome. Also, take a look at my updated media kit if you have a product or work for a brand that might be a snarky fit for MelanysGuydlines. Always looking for… Continue Reading

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FORE: Gone Golfing

By Melany on May 10, 2016 in Snarky

I did it. I finally got in touch with a golf pro and am now on the golf course taking lessons. It is super challenging and takes patience, which I don’t usually have but need if I am going to be good at this sport. Yes, this is a sport. I apologize to my friend in seventh grade when I said golf wasn’t a sport. Wow – was I wrong! In my defense, I was an avid softball player and couldn’t see anything else but a softball bat and a ball (and cute baseball players). So, I am finally taking… Continue Reading

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3 Pieces of Relationship Advice You Should Never Follow

By Laura on May 4, 2016 in Relationships

Love this super snarky post from Laura! She is really getting the hang of the snark! Well done and great tips here. I would have been equally annoyed with this guy and probably would have told him where he could go before he proceeded with point two. Take it away. Last night I came face to face with my first ever real life ‘Life Coach’. And I can quite honestly say that I could have gone my entire life without meeting him, or any other life coach for that matter, and been perfectly happy. But this article is not about… Continue Reading

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I Just Let Go With the letgo App: Try It and letgo

By Melany on April 20, 2016 in Goodies, Snarky

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of letgo for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine. Well, we all have stuff and if you are like me then, we both have a lot of stuff. Some things seem like a good buy and then you get home and ask yourself “Self, do I really need 5 different colors of the same exact shirt or skirt or glasses?” Recently, I moved (again) and can’t believe how little time it takes to accumulate things that I just can’t use because I am only one person and don’t have enough… Continue Reading

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Not All Followers Are Created Equal

By Melany on March 29, 2016 in Relationships, Snarky

If you missed me last night…here is the Blab after few technical mishaps, dog barking, spelling errors, echoed sound, mother nature fighting me for bad lighting! Seriously. Can anyone recommend a small lighting kit that doesn’t suck or can you ask Mother Nature for a little more natural light for me please?! Thanks ‪#‎socialmediaproblems‬ Take 2. We are all human and sometimes technology doesn’t play well with others and that was me last night! We are all human and sometimes technology doesn’t play well with others and that was me last night! Click To Tweet Scroll to about the 19… Continue Reading

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Melany Berger On Blab Tonight: How To Work With Brands

By Melany on March 28, 2016 in Goodies, Relationships

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. It has been a few months since my last Blab discussion and I am excited to be interviewed by Shon Hyneman from Kairos Social about one of my favorite topics: How to work with brands. Tonight is the night where I will finally catch up with Shon Hyneman on Blab. What are my secrets…well, maybe not all of them! Join me tonight talking Working With Brands on @KairosSocial Blab. What are my secrets…well, maybe not all of them! Click To Tweet Join us tonight, Monday 3/28/16 @ 6:30PM/PST – be there!!… Continue Reading

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Social Media “No-No’s” and Pet Peeves

By Melany on March 25, 2016 in Snarky

Let’s face it. The majority of us spend a lot of time online. I think I might spend more than the average person (and Teddy Brewski more than the average puppy) on some form of electronic device. To be fair, it is my job and there are many things I love about being fully online and engaged with people from all over the world on my computer or phone. However there are some “no-no’s” that people do online that drive me up the wall. 1. Being a flat out nasty, hater or troll. We are very lucky to enjoy our… Continue Reading

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Must Have Hysterical App – MSQRD

By Melany on March 8, 2016 in Snarky

This is not a sponsored post. I am not getting paid to write this. But, let me tell you that my new favorite app has to be MSQRD. It stands for masquerade because you can change your face with different masks and 3D camera tricks to become all different types of people, animals, characters and more. It is so funny that I am still laughing at the videos I recorded a few days ago. Hysterical and provides hours of entertainment for the whole family. This was my first try using the app..LOLOL My new favorite app has to be #MSQRD… Continue Reading

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16 Guydlines To Overcoming Being A Workaholic

By Melany on February 26, 2016 in Goodies

I have been working on being on not being a workaholic. How am I doing, you ask? Well, I have been making time for myself! The first part of this process started by getting my ass back in the gym. I can’t tell you how good I feel now that I have been moving around and active for the past month. In all fairness to me, I placed myself in my own prison a.k.a. a walking boot from an injury sustained while playing kickball. Yes, kickball. I’m a total ringer too but one bad step while running through the bag,… Continue Reading

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