humor

MG’s Billboard Music Awards Recap

By Matt Bailey on May 20, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

I’ll be completely honest with you, I had absolutely no plans of the Billboard Music Awards even registering on my conscious this morning. On occasion, I’ll pull up the award results in the days following and snicker at media I’ve never consumed earning trophies for their supposed brilliance. A few awards will always carry some social significance – the Grammy, the Oscar, or the Emmy – and even a few performances have managed to carve out some space in my memory. For the most part, however, we’re thrown corporate fodder at a runtime well north of a Yankees/Red Sox game…. Continue Reading

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Strange Celebrity Endorsements : Headphones

By Matt Bailey on May 16, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

It’s no secret that branding makes the world go round. On a daily basis, we’re exposed to up to 20,000 marketing messages, and most pass right under our nose without us even realizing it. There’s the obvious ones, like the clothes we wear or the car we drive. But how about the laundry list of celebrity hot sauces? Or Shannon Doherty pledging the merits of an online education? I know my dog only eats food that passed Rachael Ray’s rigorous quality standards. For whatever reason, one product that has become synonymous with the celebrity endorsement in recent years are the headphones…. Continue Reading

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Hairstyles of the Stressed Celebrity

By Matt Bailey on May 16, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Like a naturally occurring phenomenon, it looks like we have another celebrity meltdown on our hands. The sudden collapse of Amanda Bynes is predictable, yet fascinating. Of course, these things aren’t actually a force of nature, but a product of our perpetual infatuation with stars, particularly those we watch grow up in front of our eyes. Recall your awkward teenage years? Imagine if every day, that stage was under a microscope for snarky housewives to digest like rice cakes. I stumble through cases of writers block without the pressures of constant public attention, so imagine how it must feel to… Continue Reading

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This Rocks – Monster Energy Outbreak College Nor/So Cal dates

By Melany on May 15, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

As most of you know, my heart pumps to the beat of music and I bleed rock n roll! My background is rock music and I have been blessed to work with some very cool (and some not so cool) bands along the way. I know you enjoy reading about my trials and tribulations working in music business and I can tell you that there are a lot more blog posts about past music experiences to follow. But, one of the coolest parts about this blogging journey is that new and amazing opportunities present themselves each and every day. Some… Continue Reading

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Van Halen in Las Vegas: I am with the band

By Melany on April 29, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

Ah Las Vegas! I have spent many days and nights in my favorite city doing all types of unimaginable things. One of my most memorable “vacays” in sin city was not a vacation at all. When I worked in the illustrious music business, marketing rock bands, I was presented with an offer “to work” a show that I could not refuse. I am talking about Van Halen people. You know who they are, right? Well, one of the first tours I ever had the privilege of working on was Van Halen (not with Diamond Dave but with the Red Rocker… Continue Reading

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ToadHopNetwork is now a sponsor to the Las Vegas contest #guydlines giveaway!

By Melany on April 25, 2013 in Goodies

Toadhopnetwork and Melanysguydlines is sending you to VEGAS!

So, if our contest could not get any sweeter, it just did!!! I am so excited to announce that we have added our special sponsors/rockstar promoters ToadHopNetwork! Now what do you think? Go check out the radio shows on the network. There is something for everyone. Sex, rock (KLOS – Heidi and Frank), geeks, funny…..on and on. I thought that giving my loyal followers and newcomers a chance to win a weekend in Vegas on me would get a lot of entries. But, I have found that running a contest is more challenging than just offering a kick ass prize… Continue Reading

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Vegas : “The Great Unimaginable”

By Matt Bailey on April 25, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Unless you’re occupying a comfy space underneath a rock, you’ve noticed we’re giving away a weekend getaway package to Las Vegas. As we were throwing around ideas for new content, the focus was on our individual experiences with Sin City. While Emily wondered how she could possibly spin an appropriate Vegas tale (is there such a thing?), I quietly inhaled my cigarette a little more aggressively. You see, my life to this point has been a little….sheltered. Summer is coming up around the corner….and that’s pretty cool, I suppose. There was a point in my life where this was significant… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for Coachella… How avoid Looking Like a Stupid White Boy

By Libby D on April 24, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Amongst a sea of Urban Outfitters and white kids dressed as Indians was the world’s largest music festival. Hosting over 80,000 people and bands most of us have never heard of, we decided Coachella goers needed a few guydlines to help them survive the weekend. Coachella Guydline #1: Go with an open mind, but please, beware of any guy who wants to show you his “wand”. Coachella Guydline #2: Find sensible shoes, you might step on acid and wake up 5 days later in the middle of the desert wondering what the hell happened to you. Coachella Guydline #3: Opt… Continue Reading

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ENTER CONTEST TO WIN TRIP TO LAS VEGAS HERE:

By Melany on April 21, 2013 in Goodies

Want to get lucky? Me too. I think I may be able to help you out. How about a weekend in Las Vegas on your favorite snarky blog – Melanysguydlines.com and sponsors; Travelvegas.com and ICJUK/ Inspired By Claire Jane? And now, our special sponsor rockstars – Toadhopnetwork PRIZE: LAS VEGAS WEEKEND – 2 nights stay at The Signature at the MGM Grand Hotel. You will live like royalty in this luxurious suite with sweeping balcony views. May 31, 2013-Jun 2, 2013. -Cabana at The Signature private pool for all three days where you can soak up as much or as… Continue Reading

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Bodyguard or Photobomb?

By Emily S. on April 21, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Living in southern California means a lot of things; we do yoga, juice cleanses, we’re ‘sooo chillllll’, but mostly it means that we get to see celebrities on the reg. It’s not unusual to see Justin Bieber speeding around Calabasas or Slash eating sushi at Katsuya. Well a couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to spot the one and only, disheveled Lindsay Lohan partying at a club in San Diego. The good thing about being in with the industry is knowing the promoters, bouncers and all of the bottle services girls who have the inside scoop. I was out… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

By Melany on April 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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I am dating my blog

By Melany on April 16, 2013 in Relationships

There are people who blog like scrapbooking and people who are working their ass off to TRY and make a living doing it. I never knew that you could make a living from blogging and started with Melanysguydlines.com as a creative and cathartic outlet. But, I really needed a job and guys, I have to make a living and Teddy is hungry. It is not as easy as you think. People ask me what I am doing and trust me – I am working 19+ hour days. I wake up to Melanysguydlines at 5:30 AM, we eat breakfast, shower, shit,… Continue Reading

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