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Mel’s Hits & Misses Valentines Day 2014-PART 1

It is that time of year and since people think I am some sort of  a relationship expert –ish, I have received many awesome and not so awesome product reviews/requests. I wish my dating prospects were as good as some of these items. I hope my chubby, cherub a.k.a. cupid has been going to the shooting range. I will pay for him to have lessons to improve his aim and stop hitting all the asses of assholes. At this point, I would rather have Ted…..ehh Teddy Brewski than any other prospects. Cupid – you listening? 1. Ted Doll (I found… Continue Reading

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Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

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Happy Holidays, Congrats & Giveaways for 2014!

happy holidays and congrats

Happy “weird days between Christmas and New Years Day where no one is really working” and I missed the memo! I just realized that I have been working for the last two hours without the sweet tunes of Tesla or Ratt in my ears so I am going to make this short and sweet (like Teddy Brewski and I). Congratulations to Laurel from WA! She is the winner of the Kindle Fire HD! I am so stoked for her! Thank you to EVERYONE who entered, supported, commented, liked, followed, and rocked this contest! I am on my way to send… Continue Reading

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Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

Being single for the holidays

  Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and  I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites!   In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

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Color Me Bad: Naughty or Nice

Hello MG fans. So, I have been slammed since my return from Arizona and the holiday season madness. I am doing my best to catch up with publicist requests, tinder matches (separate blog post for this and there are more perverts to be discovered every day), training Teddy Brewski, thinking of YouTube videos for your viewing pleasure, not eating the entire house, and needing a wheelbarrow to go to the gym. As I have mentioned to you in the past, I will only write about things publicists send me that I find interesting and funny. About a month ago, two… Continue Reading

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Thanksgiving 2013 – Thanks & almost full

So, it is time for me to write another Thanksgiving post. I can’t believe that I have been writing this blog long enough and with success to be able to do another installment of “What I am thankful for….” 2014 installment. I wish I could say this year has been easy but it has not. I work my ass off everyday on this entertainment thing and am so proud of what I have accomplished. I wish more people would actively support! Every bit helps. Yeah – I am talking to you and YOU! So, like, thumbs up, share, subscribe, and… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Money Date in Vegas – Valentines Day

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com. Now, these are what I call great Valentines Dates! HELLO – YOU! Are you ready to be my Valentine this year? Come on! I don’t always bite (only unless you ask). These dates will get you where you want to go. Trust me and take notes! I am accepting applications now. GO! (Hopefully it will not take me that long to get a GREAT date). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Good Riddance 2012

I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to make people laugh with melanysguydlines.com.  This single girl blog was created as a result of some of the hardest moments in my life but has served well as MY cathartic outlet. My tag line is that I have lived 9 lives, and I truly have . I have been blessed with loving parents and for that I am most thankful. Each of us has our own struggles and obstacles to overcome. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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What are you for 2013?

Why does the song go “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me”? Are there more than 2 days of Christmas? I am confused.  Anyway, I know there are 8 days of Hanukkah. Maybe someone got that mixed up in the song.  And what did your other love give you? What other kind of love is there if it is not true?    Hmmmmm……Anyway – I am looking forward to my New Years Resolution! I have new office space for 2013! I am so excited that I can write and make you laugh all day long in… Continue Reading

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I am most thankful for…..

  I am THANKFUL for: Being raised by the 2 most amazing people who have been supportive through all my 9 lives and taught me never to be scared of my own shadow. Being blessed to have had a sister that I shared everything with and knowing that she is watching over me every day. Having the strength to kick ass literally and figuratively. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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