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Vote For Teddy Brewski In The Evite #PawtyPeople Contest

By on July 28, 2016 in Goodies
Vote For Teddy Brewski In The Evite #PawtyPeople Contest

Don’t worry this is not a political post. But, Teddy Brewski is asking for your vote as the cutest dog around (and I know he would be great president but he is running for that right now). He is in the running to be the face of Evite #pawtypeople contest with your help! If you missed it last week, check out my post about the new Evite section for Pet Party Evites. It is so cute and will for sure be the cutest blog you read in a while. In celebration of this new category, Evite is hosting a contest… Continue Reading

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Not All Influencers Are Created Equal: Celebrity vs. Influencer Part 1

By on July 22, 2016 in Greatest Hits, Relationships, Snarky
Not All Influencers Are Created Equal: Celebrity vs. Influencer Part 1

This post was written a few months back while visiting Los Angeles (I got out for good this time because I served two full sentences there and have not looked back since) and I have been so busy that I did not get around to sharing then but am making time right now! This is an important post and describes the difference between a celebrity and influencer in snarky terms, of course. Ahh Hollywood. You never cease to provide me with ample amounts of snarky material to address on this here blog. I love you for that (and just that)…. Continue Reading

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It’s My Birthday And I Will Do What I Want To

By on June 12, 2016 in Snarky
It’s My Birthday And I Will Do What I Want To

Another year. Another Birthday. But, this year is going to be the best yet because I have been reciting my mantra and putting these things into place. It is one thing to say them and it is another thing to actually do what you say. So, for my Birthday this year: – I am not doing anything I don’t actually want to do. – I am not feeling obligated to anyone. – I am only doing what makes me happy. So, if you missed it here is the mantra…… Sound like a plan? I do have a little wish though…. Continue Reading

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Melany’s Mantra: Repeat, Rinse And Repeat

By on June 2, 2016 in Greatest Hits, Snarky
Melany's Mantra

Every morning I swear to repeat this mantra. I am going to print it out and hang on my mirror. It is the summer and I want to take some time for myself while still being able to do the things I WANT to do. This means not feeling obligated to do things others think I SHOULD be doing. Here we go. Cue the chanting music and theme lighting. Add a candle and throw in some incense but please spare me the Nag Champa. I think I left that scent back in San Francisco on Haight Street when I was… Continue Reading

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You Can Learn A Lot From A Dog

By on May 24, 2016 in Snarky
You can learn a lot from a dog!

Yes, you can learn a lot from a dog. I learn from Teddy Brewski every day. I mean, I learned last night that dogs will eat everything (even asparagus) if the opportunity arises. I will let you know how that goes. But what I really want to share with all of you people is this. As I walk Teddy Brewski and watch him walk his favorite walk every day and he always takes time to smell the roses. He also let’s someone else (me) deal with all of the “garbage”. I have decided to let go of a lot of… Continue Reading

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Plug Me Back In: Hump Day Snarkiness

By on May 18, 2016 in Snarky
Plug Me Back In: Hump Day Snarkiness

Good Morning and happy Hump Day! In celebration of it being just that I thought I would share a little known skill I possess and might need to add to my media kit. I can rap (ish) the entire Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. Yes, that is me in an Uber. Highly recommend using uber when you feel a little happy of have a drink or 4. It is awesome. Also, take a look at my updated media kit if you have a product or work for a brand that might be a snarky fit for MelanysGuydlines. Always looking for… Continue Reading

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World Cocktail Day 2016: Recipes for Double Fri-Yay The 13th

By on May 13, 2016 in Snarky
World Cocktail Day 2016: Recipes for Double Fri-Yay The 13th

Happy Friday the 13th. CHEERS! I bet you didn’t know that today is not just Fri-yay the 13th but something even cooler! If doughnuts can have a holiday so can cocktails. While we never need much of a reason to mix up a post-work-week cocktail, if you’re looking for an excuse to get creative, today, May 13th is World Cocktail Day! Double Fri- yay. My favorite color is grey goose! My favorite color is grey goose! #worldcocktailday Click To Tweet My go to drink is: Grey Goose Soda with Lime Grey Goose Soda with a splash of lime in a… Continue Reading

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FORE: Gone Golfing

By on May 10, 2016 in Snarky
FORE: Gone Golfing

I did it. I finally got in touch with a golf pro and am now on the golf course taking lessons. It is super challenging and takes patience, which I don’t usually have but need if I am going to be good at this sport. Yes, this is a sport. I apologize to my friend in seventh grade when I said golf wasn’t a sport. Wow – was I wrong! In my defense, I was an avid softball player and couldn’t see anything else but a softball bat and a ball (and cute baseball players). So, I am finally taking… Continue Reading

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3 Pieces of Relationship Advice You Should Never Follow

By on May 4, 2016 in Relationships
3 Pieces of Relationship Advice You Should Never Follow

Love this super snarky post from Laura! She is really getting the hang of the snark! Well done and great tips here. I would have been equally annoyed with this guy and probably would have told him where he could go before he proceeded with point two. Take it away. Last night I came face to face with my first ever real life ‘Life Coach’. And I can quite honestly say that I could have gone my entire life without meeting him, or any other life coach for that matter, and been perfectly happy. But this article is not about… Continue Reading

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Not All Followers Are Created Equal

By on March 29, 2016 in Relationships, Snarky
#notallfollowersarecreatedequal

If you missed me last night…here is the Blab after few technical mishaps, dog barking, spelling errors, echoed sound, mother nature fighting me for bad lighting! Seriously. Can anyone recommend a small lighting kit that doesn’t suck or can you ask Mother Nature for a little more natural light for me please?! Thanks ‪#‎socialmediaproblems‬ Take 2. We are all human and sometimes technology doesn’t play well with others and that was me last night! We are all human and sometimes technology doesn’t play well with others and that was me last night! Click To Tweet Scroll to about the 19… Continue Reading

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Melany Berger On Blab Tonight: How To Work With Brands

By on March 28, 2016 in Goodies, Relationships
Melany Berger On Blab Tonight: How To Work With Brands

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. It has been a few months since my last Blab discussion and I am excited to be interviewed by Shon Hyneman from Kairos Social about one of my favorite topics: How to work with brands. Tonight is the night where I will finally catch up with Shon Hyneman on Blab. What are my secrets…well, maybe not all of them! Join me tonight talking Working With Brands on @KairosSocial Blab. What are my secrets…well, maybe not all of them! Click To Tweet Join us tonight, Monday 3/28/16 @ 6:30PM/PST – be there!!… Continue Reading

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We Are Better Than This

By on March 16, 2016 in Relationships
Violent protesting is not OK. Freedom of speech is OK. Come on America. Be better than th

I don’t cover politics on my blog or on my social media channels. MelanysGuydlines was created as a cathartic outlet for snarky jokes and laughter. Don’t we have enough to deal with on a daily basis? MG should be a place to come and escape issues we face in our daily lives. But, today I wanted to share something on the blog because it should be shared here too. First, I tweeted this. Second, I shared on Facebook and some moron replied to the post with such a rude comment that I won’t repeat it here. What I said in… Continue Reading

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