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Snarky thank you to you snarky bitches!

Well, I made it through another birthday celebration with only 1 more wrinkle, right? Life has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not sure which out of my 9 lives I am on, but they are getting more entertaining each and every day. Thank you again for all the love and snarky support for my blog! You all rock! I know that I have a lot of pics of Mel G on here so I thought I would invite you to see some actual photos of my friends and moi. Oh, and some kick ass shoes too…. Continue Reading

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Stay off my online profile MOM

moms embarassing

I wanted to write something about dating but again, my dating life is slightly boring and totally protected at this point in time. There are a few people I promised I would never write about (unless they did something so ridiculous that it would make it on the “guydlines”) so, unfortunately (for you and not me) there is no fantastic new entry into the hall of shame. Don’t worry; I am sure it won’t be that way for long knowing my amazingly unlucky, luck. However, I have a mother that likes to pry into my business in every which way… Continue Reading

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Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy.  DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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Relationships, matchmakers, babies and aliens?

Matchmaker make me a match!

I just can’t get on top of my work but am so excited to be presented with a lot of snarky opportunities that I will be able to share like my upcoming interview with a top Matchmaker for VIP and celebrity clients. Her name is Sherri Murphy and her Elite agency matched up the infamous Latoya Jackson on the OWN network (heard of Oprah before?).  I am a little leery of matchmakers. You remember my experience with a matchmaker and how I was set up with a guy who played for the other team? Hope Sherri does a better job… Continue Reading

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Congratulations to Alison Maria aka relation_shits

CONGRATULATIONS to our winner of the Las Vegas contest! She really hit the Jackpot!! I love her snarky attitude and appreciate her entry! Thank you so much. I am pleased to announce the following person has won a long and hard fight for the amazing Las Vegas weekend prize. Help me congratulate – Alison Maria aka @relation_shits from Twitter!! Here is the winning/snarky/humorous #guydline: Always ending up with the brides bouquets but never the man. Flowers, those are easy to catch. Guys, not so much… (49%, 321 Votes) Thank you so much for your participation and I wish you lots… Continue Reading

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Proud to be chosen as the Why Not Girl of the Week! – yours truly

A fellow Arizona alumnus has chosen me to be the Why Not Girl of the week on her blog, Why Not Girl! The premise behind the blog is to feature and embrace women who take chances and follow their dreams. I think there is a special message here to any woman choosing to try something new in their lives. It may be taking a new class, moving cities or in my case, starting my own business. Life is about risks and taking chances and we need to embrace change and move forward! Thanks Lauren for choosing me for this week’s… Continue Reading

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Van Halen in Las Vegas: I am with the band

Ah Las Vegas! I have spent many days and nights in my favorite city doing all types of unimaginable things. One of my most memorable “vacays” in sin city was not a vacation at all. When I worked in the illustrious music business, marketing rock bands, I was presented with an offer “to work” a show that I could not refuse. I am talking about Van Halen people. You know who they are, right? Well, one of the first tours I ever had the privilege of working on was Van Halen (not with Diamond Dave but with the Red Rocker… Continue Reading

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ToadHopNetwork is now a sponsor to the Las Vegas contest #guydlines giveaway!

Toadhopnetwork and Melanysguydlines is sending you to VEGAS!

So, if our contest could not get any sweeter, it just did!!! I am so excited to announce that we have added our special sponsors/rockstar promoters ToadHopNetwork!  Now what do you think? Go check out the radio shows on the network. There is something for everyone. Sex, rock (KLOS – Heidi and Frank), geeks, funny…..on and on. I thought that giving my loyal followers and newcomers a chance to win a weekend in Vegas on me would get a lot of entries. But, I have found that running a contest is more challenging than just offering a kick ass prize… Continue Reading

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Female Lakers Fans

Alright, as this painful seasons continues I cannot go any longer without giving a breakdown of the female fans. I’ve had enough of your generic tweets and conveniently timely statuses to believe that all of you are true fans. So here ya go.. my views on girls who are Los Angeles Laker fans. Girls who don’t know and don’t care I mean, at least these girls are honest. They don’t pretend to know who the players are or clog our news feed with fake statuses pretending they care. Its okay! You’re allowed to live in Los Angeles and not scream at… Continue Reading

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ENTER CONTEST TO WIN TRIP TO LAS VEGAS HERE:

Want to get lucky? Me too. I think I may be able to help you out. How about a weekend in Las Vegas on your favorite snarky blog – Melanysguydlines.com and sponsors; Travelvegas.com and ICJUK/ Inspired By Claire Jane? And now, our special sponsor rockstars – Toadhopnetwork  PRIZE: LAS VEGAS WEEKEND – 2 nights stay at The Signature at the MGM Grand Hotel. You will live like royalty in this luxurious suite with sweeping balcony views. May 31, 2013-Jun 2, 2013. -Cabana at The Signature private pool for all three days where you can soak up as much or as… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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The Guidelines For a #Guydline

Guydlines for life.

What happens when you combine a tablespoon of snark, a dash of cynicism and heaps of truth?  You get a delicious little nugget of credence called the “Guydline”. Guydlines are theories rooted deeply in life’s greatest successes and failures.  They’re words to live by, wisdom to share, and if you can find a cool font or latin translation– perhaps something to permanently tattoo on your body. As my father would say, “Big hat, no cattle” or in other words “when they say they are, they are not” (and consider it a friendly warning to ALL of you not be taken… Continue Reading

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