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Dating – The laws for a guide to a perfect relationship!

By on June 25, 2012 in Relationships

So, now that I have lost yet another Facebook Friend, (I am sure it is one of the John’s on my friend list or probably his sister) I am going to share another funny dating story that will not insult anyone (hopefully). I know that I had one police officer as a friend (but I think he is in jail) and does not count anymore (right?). Of course, I dated this guy for a split second until I noticed that he constantly referred to himself in the third person. He was a struggling actor (waiter) in LA and had “the… Continue Reading

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Dear John – The relationship “letter” for my ex-boyfriend

By on June 22, 2012 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

It pains me to tell you, John (if that is even your name) but I must move on without you in my life. I want to thank you for having a complete mental breakdown in my apartment (because it alerted me that you need some professional help and the need for this letter). I just texted you my therapist’s name and number and he will be expecting your call. He DEFINITELY knows who you are and that I referred you (I get $100 off for every person I refer, so I am getting free therapy for at least the next… Continue Reading

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Dear John

By on June 20, 2012 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Dear John, This funny dating story is entertaining to me because I just ran into ex-boyfriend #2 from last year after not seeing, hearing, or receiving smoke signals of his existence for almost a year! For ex-boyfriend #2 , we will call him John. I think that protects him enough. I mean come on John, and when I saw him he was running so fast that he was probably being chased by the police, another girl, huge man from the Castro named Fifi who wanted his money back or by someone else he sold his pretend life story too.  So, he… Continue Reading

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Y ???

By on June 18, 2012 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

There is one person I did not hear from this Birthday, my ex-boyfriend (he must have missed my last few blog entries). I wasn’t expecting to hear from him, but it is always interesting who crawls out of the woodwork on days like Birthdays. But, I did run into last year’s ex-boyfriend #2 and that funny blog story will follow after ex-boyfriend # 1. It begins a bit like a bad joke. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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PERFECTION!

By on June 15, 2012 in Relationships

Hello! Is this thing on? As most of you know, I have been celebrating my Birthday week! Yes, I celebrate for a week because that is how long it took my parents to decide whether they were going to keep or trade me in for another baby (just kidding)! I was the devil’s spawn, an absolutely horrific baby. Can you imagine? I am the easiest person to get along with all the time, right? Anyway, in all of my preparation for this joyous occasion, I broke the first rule of blogging (according to the bloggers bible; Blogging for Idiots) and… Continue Reading

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Facebook “Friends” (read my 1st post before this!)

By on June 7, 2012 in Relationships

Yes! I woke up this morning and saw that my Facebook “friend” list was only at 1,069 people. I lost someone. Maybe it was “bad fashion“. I think it was. But didn’t she run away? Anyway, life goes on with one less Facebook “friend”. I will miss her and her 5 other personalities. I have spent all day thinking about how I can get one more friend to make up her spot. I feel such a sense of urgency to “make” a new friend! They are not the biggest shoes to fill with the only requirements being “bad fashion”, crazy,… Continue Reading

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