“Hello – yeah, ummmm WHAT? You want to film a movie at my house, uhhhh YEAH –hello?’ True conversation that happened right before my life got weird(er) and Kevin Farley’s film, “Paranormal Movie” moved into my home. Yes, the entire movie and everyone in my house, with ME.
The producers told me the movie was going to be easy and that they didn’t need to bother the city of Beverly Hills with “all that crap”. So, when I opened my front door and saw a Pepsi semi-trailer-truck in my driveway preparing to unload enough soda to quench the thirst of every person who can max the capacity at Staples Center, I wondered WTF did I get myself into? I still have Pepsi in my fridge to supply a small army.
When I say that I was living in the film, I really did live in the film. I had just moved back into my home and had a brand new bed that saw more of Kevin Farley and Carly Craig’s ass than mine. Actually, my bed saw a lot of ass and none of it was mine. In fact, my new toilet saw a lot of ass too until I blocked that off and designated a crew bathroom downstairs. Come on – that is MY porcelain goddess.
The entire cast and crew were hysterical and the filming process was one big, long party. I think I lost five pounds from laughing so much. From the early morning call times and long talks (lectures) with the crazy Craft Services lady feeding everyone on the set doughnuts (not sure if she knew that most actors watch their weight) to parties every evening after wrap – this movie set was one of my most memorable experiences! Apparently the Craft Services lady had a good time too because she asked for a few wine coolers in my fridge and they were all gone after wrap.
Everyday, a different guest star walked through my front door. Thank you to Tom Sizemore for cleaning my pool, Maria Menuonos for closing my front door politely, John Farley for wearing my metal chain vest better than me, for Eric Roberts asking me if I had credentials to be in my house, and Deep Roy for riding my huge blow up rubber ducky because ducky gets lonely. If that sounds weird, trust me there is A LOT more to laugh at in this movie.
I suggest you go buy the film if you like to laugh or you have a rubber ducky fetish. I think I will give a rubber ducky to whoever keeps track of how many people were in my bed besides me. Don’t worry, they brought their own sheets and we burned them after the freaky clown and weed-smoking demon had a chance to roll in the hay (weed). Ready? It is out today. GO GET IT!
You can buy it everywhere. Try Amazon or whatever retailers you prefer while Internet shopping.
**Stay snarky my friends!**