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Las Vegas -Insider Track to a Half a Piece of Pie

By on August 5, 2013 in Fans, Snarky
las vegas hangover shirt

Last week was a crazy week for melanysguydlines.com. Facebook and Twitter were on fire! I am so excited to announce that we hit 8100 followers @Melanyb12 and Facebook #8300 likes and counting! If you don’t go there – you should! Also, it was very cool to hear people talking and spreading the word (even if some of my friends are still slow on the go – they will learn or maybe not? I am still looking for a place to return friends. Do you know where I can do that?) On top of all of that, I was asked to… Continue Reading

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How to Party Like a Surfer: Don’t Yell & Leave Your Shoes At Home

By on July 29, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Last weekend, I got a sudden urge and decided to pack (way too much and the problem with that, is unpacking sucks) put Teddy Brewski with his friends at day/night camp (I swear he has more friends than I do) and drive down to Huntington Beach for the US Open of Surfing. No one told me that I should not leave LA proper after 2:00PM because it would take me two and a half hours to get to the beach in traffic. But, so what? I am a great DJ and I knew there were clean beaches, sun, and surfers… Continue Reading

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Zynga Sparks Relationships by Gaming

By on July 23, 2013 in Relationships
zynga sparks relationships by gaming marriage proposal

When I was younger, I used to play games all the time and always had boyfriends or involved in a dating relationship. I had funny relationship advice and relationships stories of some kind because I was always in a relationship! Now, I seem to have bad dating stories or online dating horror stories. Being young and finding potential dates was much easier than it is today. If I wasn’t competing in sports outside hitting or kicking balls, you could find me inside dribbling or volleying other types of balls. All the best looking guys played sports too. I do have… Continue Reading

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Rolling Stone: Selling or Selling Out?

By on July 19, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky
rolling stone magazine selling out

Rolling Stone magazine depicting the Boston marathon terrorist as a Rock star by giving him the cover is so un-American and definitely un-rock n’ roll. That cover is a coveted spot where kids and adults of all ages with a guitar, bass, mic or drumsticks, dream to obtain that honor. It is like making Majors in Baseball. Come on – rock is in the shitter and now rock journalism too? I am all for freedom of speech (obviously) but Rolling Stone has sold out to sell out magazines. It is one thing to make money but another to capitalize off… Continue Reading

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Snarky Relationship Tips & Advice: Teddy B Style

By on July 15, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
snarky relationship tips and advice image

My snarky relationship tips come from my experience with Teddy Brewski. He is better than any boyfriend I have had, any day, because I am his one and only. Here is some snarky relationship advice from a woman who has been through enough guys to provide it to you with certain flair. He does what I tell him. (Well, most of the time). If not, I can throw the leash on him and he is always by my side. If I did that to a boyfriend I would probably get arrested (or be into some really, weird S&M craziness which… Continue Reading

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Snarky Dating Tips and Advice: “Slow & Low That is the Tempo”

By on July 11, 2013 in Relationships
snarky dating tips image

Since now I am somewhat of an authority on snarky dating tips and advice, I thought I would make a little cheat sheet for SOME things that have come up a lot in my dating life. Read these tips and commit them to your brain. Keep them handy and if you ever doubt me – don’t. I have been there, done that and am trying to save you from unpleasant experiences people. K? Take my dating advice! When going on a date you should follow this snarky dating advice….. Consider the source and place where you met your date. Dog… Continue Reading

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Working Relationships in Hollywood: Top 12 things I LOL’d on the Boulevard

By on July 8, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Each day, I am privileged to witness very strange relationships in Hollywood– oh LA, LA, land! Reviewing this list it is no wonder why I have so many online dating stories and remain single in the land of the stars. I am always surprised or maybe humorously entertained watching the people up and down the Boulevard. With these kinds of observations wouldn’t you want to live here? Or at least stay for a while? Promise you will never be bored and probably remain single as well. Let’s take a look at the top 12 snarky, funny things I was lucky… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

By on July 4, 2013 in Relationships

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Trouble in Online dating part 2,233,557 – Drunk texting at 2AM

By on June 30, 2013 in Relationships

These things only happen to me right? Where do I get rid of my crazy magnet? Online dating is not fun or snarky – again! It sucks. Here is another reason (as if I needed another one). Let me set this up for you – A week ago, I log on to mydatenightmares.com to a really nice email from an equally as nice looking young man (holy shit it is a miracle, right?) So, I do not delay and send my number when he asks for it! And wait…. 1. Nice pics – (no come hither poses on beds or… Continue Reading

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Online Virtual Dating App: At First Sight- will you accept this rose?

By on June 28, 2013 in Relationships

I think I might have to eat my words and try this new dating app from Chris Harrison of “The Bachelor”. You know who he is right? You think he would know a little about dating after doing so many years on that show (which I don’t watch – but my mom loves it???) I obviously (unfortunately) know about dating and online dating nightmares which are not snarky or fun. But, lets weigh my options for trying this new dating app that was launched last week! Something has to work well eventually, right? The new dating app – fittingly called… Continue Reading

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Are you a video star? Enter for your chance to win up to $15,000 in CASH!

By on June 24, 2013 in Goodies

I get a lot of weird PR requests for the blog, Twitter and Facebook and it takes me a long time to go through all of them. Some of them are just ridiculous. Seriously –I will revisit this at another time. Talking about getting requests regarding topics like Hitler, aliens, fat burning wraps, bullying, depression, mental illness and so much more. I mean – do these PR people read my blog? Not snarky and not humorous topics. Do your research PR people. But, no matter how weird the request are I pride myself on replying to each and every one… Continue Reading

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AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame

By on June 24, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame For my last and final installment of the AllFacebook AllTwitter Social Media conference I will give a few snarky “guydlines” to the professionals on the panels. They need all the help they can get to try and keep these people attending the conference awake! I know this was a long-winded blog post series but these points needed to be made and I needed to make them! Come on? You know what I am talking about. I am totally OCD, ADD and forgot what the first post was about by now… Continue Reading

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