Online Dating Nightmare #1,199

Hope you all had more fun than I did yesterday. As some of you know, a virus has totally infected AOL in their server. Before, you make some smart-ass comment let me say that I have had AOL since I was 15. It was “MelB” but I hated the spice girls so that was not the premise behind the username. Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you change passwords and keep up to date with old emails or accounts on websites. For the average person, this is annoying. For me it is a nightmare! Obviously, working in social media means I have hundreds of accounts on many different platforms. The problem is that I registered with some of these platforms way before the inception of Melanysguydlines. So, needless to say I was in password hell! How about this for a password? Go F#% off A$$h@le- yeah you 17 year old kid behind the Heartbleed virus. Use your brain for something cooler than sending out weight loss links or free prescriptions to Viagra (and if you need that already then you are in trouble). I mean yesterday was 420 so you could at least get creative and link to dispensaries. Duh!

I digress. It has come to my attention that I have not posted anything about dating for a LONG time. That is because I have not dated. I mean is there really such a thing? Yes. Online dating is there but I have come to the conclusion that at least 25% of the profiles on the sites are fake. Seriously, I am sure losers like the one who created the Heartbleed virus created the bogus profiles. Get a life! I mean I thought hell had frozen over when I received an email from a cutie a few weeks ago only to be proven very wrong. The guy emailed me and said that he had just moved to LA and wanted to meet me. I wrote back and said sure and when? Never heard back from him – EVER! This is not the first time. If that is not bad enough, the other 25% on that site are probably married and the last 50% I would never touch with a ten-foot pole. After doing that math – I am sad to say that there is a 0% chance of meeting anyone real, not married and dare I say decent looking with a J-O-B. But at least I know I am know the only one with these struggles. People always ask if I am too picky and that is not it at all. I have horrible taste in men. What am I looking for? Let this tweet tell ya and that is the truth. Obviously, a lot of people are feeling the same way so I guess I feel a little better.

Then this happens……


and BOO! What a douche.

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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10 Responses to Online Dating Nightmare #1,199

  1. Helene April 21, 2014 at 12:42 pm #

    ahaha omg!!! who does this?! people are so weird.

    • Melany April 24, 2014 at 10:23 am #

      Arent they? Just about done with online dating. So frustrating!

  2. Cheri @ Overactive Blogger April 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm #


    • Melany April 24, 2014 at 10:23 am #

      Right? YUCK!

  3. Rita G April 21, 2014 at 4:21 pm #

    Hi Melanysguydlines, I just wanted to say that I have had many many many similar experiences. It’s so great that you can take all these assholes and shed some reality light on it. Go get ’em. Wishing you much luck and happiness. you deserve it. Love your work.

    • Melany April 24, 2014 at 10:24 am #

      Thank you! At least it is good fodder for the blog.

  4. Stephen Saunders April 24, 2014 at 12:20 pm #

    This is an amusing article; I’m glad that I read it. I, as someone who is almost certainly among the 50% of people whom you’ve stated that you wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole, can at least take comfort in the knowledge that your picky ass has your own share of dating woes. I’ve dabbled with dating sites for years and can truthfully say that they’re the greatest enlightenment a guy can ever receive about what women truly think, feel, and want (and don’t want). Never mind all the politically correct images that people try to sell; if you want to know the truth, then go join plentyoffish.

    • Melany April 24, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

      I am glad you read it too! I am sure you are not part of that 50% – what I am really looking for over looks is a NICE guy. Do you know where they hide?
      Thanks for the comment!

  5. Kellie April 25, 2014 at 12:23 am #

    I have come to the conclusion that men aren’t really men…they are for the most part toddlers. That is why I am 49 and single. I’m so tired of the guys online who lie about their age, marital status, height and anything else they figure will make them sound appealing. My dating profile is one hundred percent factual. In fact I’m probably too honest. I don’t have a glamour shot picture up…I have a crappy pic where I’m in my glasses. I wrote on it that if they can handle me at my worst then they might deserve to have me at my best. LOL. The first question I ask them when they contact me is if they bothered to read my profile. If they haven’t I ask them to do so because they need to know who I am and I expect the same in return. I’m tired of the guys who want to meet you at the coffee shop because they are too cheap to take you on a real date. The worst of them all (other than the ones who are married) are the guys that act completely interested in you and once you start to have feelings for them you find out that they are dating 25 other women from the same website. UGH. What ever happened to men being gentlemen??? I do believe chivalry is dead and buried and rotting in a grave.

    • Melany April 25, 2014 at 7:10 am #

      I know it is so sad. But, where else should we go to meet someone? In this day and age – it is just way too hard. If I want to ruin my day, I just need to open my online dating inbox. Sorry to hear that you are having the same trouble as I am. Good luck!

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