Melany’s Movember Mutterings

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain.

-Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up sitting at home following a workout covered in frozen vegetables placed strategically on each joint. Attention girls that work out on the Precor machine with so much incoordination that I don’t believe you can walk and talk at the same time: STOP doing that! You look weird.

-I would never listen to Jack White’s “Love Interruption” if it were not for watching it live on X Factor sung by the contestant that looks like he could repair my computer. I will probably not vote for him but will be secretly rooting for him because you never know when my Mac is going to act up.

-I hate the IOS update on my iPhone. What is the point of having a phone if you have to charge it every few hours? Get it together before I am going to have to jump ship and go back to the Android I had prior to the IPhone. Let me point out, I was the only one with a Droid years ago and people made fun of me. Now, who is getting made fun of?

-My dog, Teddy Brewski can be a little asshole but I miss him and some of his annoying traits. The house is never as quiet or lonely as it is without that little puppy. I hope that he is learning a lot at boot camp and that today’s visit with his handlers at Partners Dog Training  (I highly recommend them btw) goes well enough that we can decide on his release date. I also hope I have enough cash to bail him out if his good behavior earns him an early release. Don’t worry; I will be monitoring him on his parole.

-There is nothing cooler than being in a room surrounded by good friends who know that you are not as cool as they make you out to be. Also, there is nothing better than hearing your friends give you praise for something you work so hard on, like this here blog. Thanks for that.

-Sometimes you need to change your scenery to make something happen in life. It is not fun packing or traveling but once you are there it is worth it.

happiness is not a desitnation  - it is a way of life!

-It can pay off being a huge sports fan and having the nerve to go into a sports bar by yourself. But, don’t underestimate the power of a slushy margarita served from a machine. Just because it is not hand stirred or shaken does not mean it won’t kick you on your ass. It did – yesterday and I could still be drunk.

-When hung-over, please refrain from eating the entire house because you will pay for that as much as you are paying for your hangover.

-There are still nice people in this world. I just have met all the other people. But, I can see things are changing and looking up.

-When writing a relationship blog, prepare the answers to several questions such as:

What is a blog?
What is your type?
What is snarky?
How do you make money doing that?

(I have answers but you may just have to ask me for them).

-I don’t understand baby shower games.
I especially do not understand the game with the dirty diaper and candy. This will have to be a YouTube video.

-Do not plan every day on your vacation because before you know it, it is half way over.

-Why can little kids eat everything and not gain a pound? That is not fair!

-Why are kids smarter than 75% of all the people I know?

-I never like facial hair on a guy unless this guy grows the hair for a specific reason such as for “Movember”.  If he knows what “Movember” is that is awesome. If he is just too lazy to exfoliate and shave  – well, that is not awesome.

For all of you that do not know the different types of mustaches for the month of “Movember”, let me educate you. This is right up my alley, a plethora of information that may seem useless one day but will totally impress your friends the next and today is that day!

“Movember” is the month that raises awareness for prostate cancer and associated charities. This is something I totally support and so should you. So, ladies don’t get mad at your unkempt man – support him! Oh, if you have one that can rock a Fu Man Chu or Handlebar – send him my way!

Check this slide show out for more styles at

Here are my favs! What are yours?

Still love this guy and maybe he would get picked up but the Yankees or SF Giants if he lost the beard!

Still love this guy and maybe he would get picked up by the Yankees or SF Giants if he lost the beard and Fu Man Chu’d it.


Handlebar. Fun to swing from those!


Muttonchops. A fav!

Chinstrap! Honest Abe can't be wrong!

Chinstrap. Honest Abe can’t be wrong.


Goatee… aka flavor savor.

Van Dyke??

Van Dyke. A little too pointy for my taste.

Horseshoe. I love that game.

Horseshoe. I love that game.


Sideburns  - wow.

Sideburns. Wow.


Fu Man Chu - the OG

Fu Man Chu. The OG


5 o'clock Shadow. It is a 5PM somewhere, right?

5 o’clock Shadow. It is a 5PM somewhere, right?


Pencil - hmmm. They should have called that something else I think.

Pencil. Hmmm. They should have called that something else I think.

Toothbrush! Always just called in the Charlie Chaplin.

Toothbrush. I always called it the Charlie Chaplin.



**Stay snarky my friends!**

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4 Responses to Melany’s Movember Mutterings

  1. Ms. Cheevious November 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

    Heyyyy – what? You don’t like facial hair? What’s not to love? It’s MANLY I tell ya. My man is SUPER SEXY with his. 🙂 Good for you for supporting the cause girly girl. XO

    • Melany November 19, 2013 at 1:48 pm #

      Yes! I do support for sure!!!!

  2. Ciara November 20, 2013 at 7:40 pm #

    I totally agree that meeting honestly genuine people is hard to do. People start out that sweet but then show their real colors quickly. And why are most people out for themselves? And what happen to men being gentlemen. Do thet just turn into douche bags or are mothers just not raising their boys right. Oh btw I love the 5 o’clock shadow!

    • Melany November 25, 2013 at 3:49 pm #

      HA! Thanks for the comment. Yes. It is hard to find a gentleman! Where are they all hiding?

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