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LALA Land

Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

By on May 23, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy.  DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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Relationships, matchmakers, babies and aliens?

By on May 21, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Matchmaker make me a match!

I just can’t get on top of my work but am so excited to be presented with a lot of snarky opportunities that I will be able to share like my upcoming interview with a top Matchmaker for VIP and celebrity clients. Her name is Sherri Murphy and her Elite agency matched up the infamous Latoya Jackson on the OWN network (heard of Oprah before?).  I am a little leery of matchmakers. You remember my experience with a matchmaker and how I was set up with a guy who played for the other team? Hope Sherri does a better job… Continue Reading

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Strange Celebrity Endorsements : Headphones

By on May 16, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

It’s no secret that branding makes the world go round.  On a daily basis, we’re exposed to up to 20,000 marketing messages, and most pass right under our nose without us even realizing it.  There’s the obvious ones, like the clothes we wear or the car we drive.  But how about the laundry list of celebrity hot sauces?  Or Shannon Doherty pledging the merits of an online education?  I know my dog only eats food that passed Rachael Ray’s rigorous quality standards. For whatever reason, one product that has become synonymous with the celebrity endorsement in recent years are the headphones…. Continue Reading

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Hairstyles of the Stressed Celebrity

By on May 16, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Like a naturally occurring phenomenon, it looks like we have another celebrity meltdown on our hands.  The sudden collapse of Amanda Bynes is predictable, yet fascinating.  Of course, these things aren’t actually a force of nature, but a product of our perpetual infatuation with stars, particularly those we watch grow up in front of our eyes.  Recall your awkward teenage years?  Imagine if every day, that stage was under a microscope for snarky housewives to digest like rice cakes.  I stumble through cases of writers block without the pressures of constant public attention, so imagine how it must feel to… Continue Reading

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Vegas : “The Great Unimaginable”

By on April 25, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Unless you’re occupying a comfy space underneath a rock, you’ve noticed we’re giving away a weekend getaway package to Las Vegas.  As we were throwing around ideas for new content, the focus was on our individual experiences with Sin City.  While Emily wondered how she could possibly spin an appropriate Vegas tale (is there such a thing?), I quietly inhaled my cigarette a little more aggressively.  You see, my life to this point has been a little….sheltered.  Summer is coming up around the corner….and that’s pretty cool, I suppose.  There was a point in my life where this was significant… Continue Reading

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Bodyguard or Photobomb?

By on April 21, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Lindsey Lohan

Living in southern California means a lot of things; we do yoga, juice cleanses, we’re ‘sooo chillllll’, but mostly it means that we get to see celebrities on the reg. It’s not unusual to see Justin Bieber speeding around Calabasas or Slash eating sushi at Katsuya. Well a couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to spot the one and only, disheveled Lindsay Lohan partying at a club in San Diego. The good thing about being in with the industry is knowing the promoters, bouncers and all of the bottle services girls who have the inside scoop. I was out… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

By on April 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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Paranormal Movie Out Today: So funny it’s scary

By on April 9, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Paranormal Activity

“Hello – yeah, ummmm WHAT? You want to film a movie at my house, uhhhh YEAH –hello?’ True conversation that happened right before my life got weird(er) and Kevin Farley’s film, “Paranormal Movie” moved into my home. Yes, the entire movie and everyone in my house, with ME. The producers told me the movie was going to be easy and that they didn’t need to bother the city of Beverly Hills with “all that crap”. So, when I opened my front door and saw a Pepsi semi-trailer-truck in my driveway preparing to unload enough soda to quench the thirst of… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines.com Team: Snarky true life experts

By on April 9, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Snarky team of melanysguydlines.com

Yesterday, the Melanysguydlines.com team met for the fist time at the Roosevelt Hotel Pool in Hollywood for a windy and long lunch (with beer and grey goose sodas). I am so proud of what has been accomplished here in under a year! This process has been hard work but I am starting to see it pay off! I hope that you have enjoyed my journey thus far and continue to laugh with us about the stupidity of people, craziness of life, chaos of dating and navigating this totally trippy world with a huge helping of snark. Life is too hard… Continue Reading

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MG’s house of snark: Welcomes intern Libby D

By on April 7, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Intern for Melanysguydlines

I am so proud to tell you all that the Melanysguydlines.com family is growing in leaps and bounds. Since I only lasted in my sorority for a week (because I didn’t care what way food needed to be passed around a table and was a horrible follower) it is only fitting that I have a pledge in the MG house. I am going to rush her like she should be rushed and groom her to be the best MG mini me ever! We hope that she can stay a while but are happy to have her for as long as… Continue Reading

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Matt’s Bio

By on April 1, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

That being said, one thing we did have was basketball.  The iconic, sepia-toned shots of Hoops hanging on barns.  Hoosiers for Christ sakes.  So when a bleach blonde, Beverly Hills sucker wanted to wax poetic about her perspective on roundball, I’m licking my chops.  Enter Arizona Wildcat basketball fanatic Melany G.  I wrote a piece that can be found RIGHT HERE that came to Melany’s attention, and as fate would have it, I hardly mention her team from Tucson.  In fact, I dive head first into denouncing Pac-12 teams in general, dismissing the current state of West Coast hoops as… Continue Reading

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I’m not making this up

By on March 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

I want a girl I can wake up next to the next morning and not be horrified to see in daylight. After reading Melany’s post about dumb people and terrible beauty advice the other day, I’d like to offer some makeup tips of my own: ladies, ditch the clown paint.

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