Navigating the beginnings of a new relationship is notoriously hard. When are you moving too fast and when are you moving too slow? Communicating with someone new is fraught with potential ways to mess up. If you come on too strong, you could scare them off. But if you play it too cool, they might think you’re not interested. How should you communicate when you’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks or even days? Use the tips below to navigate this complicated point in your budding relationship. And hopefully, you can help it develop into something more.
Don’t Be Too Keen
There has always been a debate about whether it’s wise to “play hard to get”. Should you pretend you’re not interested, to make someone want you more? Probably not. But you should also be careful about going too far the other way too. Entering a new relationship is an exciting time, and it’s easy to get carried away with yourself. However, a lot of guys, and many girls too don’t want to be in constant contact with a new boyfriend or girlfriend. According to the texting guide at Vixen Daily, guys often find frequent texting annoying. Remember that they already have a life elsewhere, with work, friends and family. Don’t expect to be suddenly in contact with them all the time, even though you want to get to know them more.
Don’t Leave Them Hanging
On the other side of the coin, try not to leave it too long before getting in touch. If they contact you in some way, whether by text, Facebook message or phone call, don’t ignore them. You don’t have to respond immediately, but try not to leave it until days later. If you find they’re contacting you more than you’re comfortable with, answer at your own pace to see if they catch on. If they don’t, you may have to let them know it’s a bit too much. Or it could be a sign that they’re not for you!
Make Time to Talk
In the 21st century, we tend to spend a lot of time communicating by text message or via social media. But if you want to get to know someone new, you need to have in-depth conversations with them. If you never get past small talk, you won’t find out how compatible you really are. Try talking on the phone instead of texting each other, or even better arrange to meet up.
When to Get Serious
One of the hardest things about a new relationship is when to talk about the serious stuff. You don’t want to leave it too late and discover a deal breaker that ends things. But when should you discuss things like marriage, kids or even just when to consider yourself in a proper relationship? The answer is that it depends on the issue, and your own thoughts. If you’re a parent, you might decide to put your cards on the table right away. But discussing whether someone wants to have kids in the future would be best left for further down the line. One thing’s for sure; don’t get too serious too fast.
New relationships are delicate things, and some of them might not get past the beginning stages. But if you want it to go somewhere, you have to find ways to communicate that are comfortable for both of you.
Thank you Sara for another great guest post!!
I recently got out of a relationship, and I find that a lot of girls at this stage doom their next (rebound?) relationship to fail because they get lonely and immediately jump onto the next person who gives them any time of the day without actually taking their time to getting to know the person first and if he is compatible with them.
I could have used the “Don’t Be Too Keen” advice when I was younger and stupider. I also highly recommend working on yourself before jumping into a new relationship, so that you approach it with a fresher and clearer mindset without all the baggage of your last one.
Very good advice! Thank you for the comment! Rebounds are the worst – they never last and if the do, it is usually for the wrong reasons. You need to know who you are as a person before you join another person in a relationship!
I found your post on the We’re Boostin’ Traffic tribe on Triberr. Some of these tips are good for those who have been in a longterm relationship or married. I’ve been with my sweetie for 23 years now but it does take work. 🙂
Things like making time to talk on the phone is a great way to stay connected.
Great tips! Passing them on. 🙂
Aww thanks so much! Welcome! Happy to have you here and appreciate the comment! Hope you come back often.