Yes! Golf: the George Clooney of sports events. You know? Gets better with age.
Now you try?
Anyway, I wanted to post this a long time ago! Since most of you know, some dumbass decided to hack the site and has thrown everything off a bit.
I went to Phoenix to watch golf for the Open a.k.a. order drinks on a golf course and pretend to watch a man hit a ball the size of a small tarantula into a hole smaller than said tarantula, in the middle of the desert. Don’t really know much about golf because I used to tell my friends that played in high school that it wasn’t a sport. It is not like football, baseball, basketball… you know sports where you could actually date the hottest girl in school just by mentioning you were in the starting lineup. Come on? How many of you wanted to date the best golfer over the quarterback or starting pitcher? Who even considered a golf tourney a sports event? No one.
We are older now and everyone plays golf. It is where the magic happens and the deals are made. So, I have learned to appreciate the complexities of the
game. I eat my words “High School Melany” (a little). Golf is indeed a sport (but baseball, football and basketball are way more exciting).
Golf is so exciting to watch that I missed a huge hit (drive or whatever) by Mickelson and didn’t know anything about it until a few days after (still don’t really know anything about Mickelson either but pretended I did when some guy told me about the amazing shot he made). Apparently he is a big deal but not as important as getting my next drink. Still not sure about the clothing options and am kinda mad because I never got the memo that I needed to wear pastels so that I could stand out like a crayola in a sea of crayons. Or the other memo that said it was mandatory to dress like a hooker with 5-inch heels during the afternoon in a wide-open area of grass. Maybe this lack of fashion sense is whyno one wanted to date a golfer in high school. Some of these guys looked like they partied with hello kitty and she lost her lunch all over their pants. There were a few other guys and girls that looked like they got a little too close to a cactus, it poked out their eyes and these dumb people were forced to get dressed in the dark without seeing how ridiculous they actually looked. But, whatever. It was a good time and made reservations to go back next year. I will pack accordingly.
Anyway, I still need a vacay from my vacay! Had a blast roaming around the desert, drink in hand and letting loose with one of my best friends, our college friends and even some new friends (some that I will never see again in person…. ever….. but they still think we are friends because Facebook says so. Don’t you know that if you are Facebook friends it does not mean that you are real friends? I think I have mentioned this before. (This excludes a few of you – you know who you are-Thanks again!)
I was sad to leave Arizona. I always have an amazing time there. Not sure if it is the sunsets, that everything is jumbo sized, clean, ample parking, freeways where cars actually move, the food, weather, or the fact that I am surrounded by fellow blondes (with brains) everywhere. What is not to love? For you morons that used to ask me what there is to do in Arizona and if people still live In Tepees- you’re an idiot.
Wish I could tell you more about the weekend but that is just going to have to wait for another blog post (or until I can remember what the hell happened).
Btw…. Sorry about getting hacked. Not sure of the point but some jackass really had nothing to do besides hack melanysguydlines.com and irritate me. If I had the power to hack, I would not choose my blog. No offense to my blog- I think I am funny and entertaining but if I knew computer code I would hack into something other than a blog. Like a Poker site? NASA? A bank? Or maybe the light control system in New Orleans during the Super Bowl.
Melanysguydlines #33 Hackers are not smart at all (dumb people). If they were they would hack something like the light control system during the Super Bowl. (It was holding –Niners were robbed).
**Stay snarky my friends!**