Gentlemen know best

There is one more thing I am thankful for that I just barely touched on with my last post. I want to thank EVERYONE who reads my blog and welcome all of the newcomers, especially the fellas. You guys are representing and make up a large part of my readership. It may come as a surprise to some of you that the majority of my readership is men. It is! I have the stats to prove it. At first, I thought I would primarily have female readers and turn guys off with some of my dating stories, but I was VERY wrong. Yes, I can definitely admit when I am wrong and much to my surprise this is working in my favor. funny dating storiesHopefully, I can delete my online dating profile (but I would miss making fun of some of the entertaining idiotic messages and funny dating stories I receive). Instead, I am going to do a little social experiment and sign up for a dating site, with my real pictures, and write in my profile that I am not looking to date on the site but just want more readers and content for my I wonder what type of responses that would get?

But really, why do so many guys read my blog? Does anyone have insight? I would love to hear from the guys. Yes, I know “guy” is in the title but that can’t be the only reason. I know guys like blondes (but I see more guys crossing over to the brunette world…still don’t know why because blondes really do have more fun). Do they just like the funny pictures I post of myself? Are they sitting around during a 49er football game reading my blogs to one another during half time? Maybe they are sneaking it into the bathroom after eating a burger? That would be cool. Could they be peaking on their phone while on their smoke break when no one can see what they are reading because smokers have to hide in the weirdest places (behind dumpsters, in the alleys, under buildings)? In bed with their girlfriends and they lie and say that they are working. Whatever. I love that even more! Where ever you are reading! Keep it up!

I wonder if men like my writing because I don’t talk about fashion trends, makeup or food. I am honest and I just give to you whatever pops into my mind that day. I write it like I see it and I think the men appreciate my honesty. Some women on the other hand….(not so much – sorry ladies, but not really). Thanks guys!

Men are awesome! This site in no way bashes the male species but embraces them. They understand that women can be tough sometimes. I can be tough too! I am not an angel and have been guilty of being stupid (like maybe once when I was 10). So, men are (overall) smart and studious people doing the appropriate research on our confusing female species. Good work. Maybe you can teach the women to be a bit more studious and start reading my blog (aka the bible).

In addition to these great study skills, men have the innate ability to see the bitchiness inherent in some women and know when they should steer clear of them completely. They can tell what a woman really wants. They have a sixth sense about them. Men know how to read a woman or how to send the right messages into the universe and attract likeminded women. They learn quickly what does and does not work and go with the best approach. Some women on the other hand, still have not learned. They try the same approach with every guy, which did not work the first time and will not work now. Women just can’t learn or let go. Women – I am calling on you to do some homework and read what men like and what they don’t like. Don’t try and change them and make them what you think they should be. If they are not that person than they are not for you. Move on and read more.

This blog was somewhat inspired by lyrics of a song from one of my favorite bands. Guys really do know what women want. We need to step up our game ladies. Good for you fellas and keep up the good work.

Here is “Gentleman” by Theory of a Deadman. It made me chuckle and cry (a little, but not really). This is so sad, but true. I think I have had my share of losers and am ready for the “Gentleman”. So where are you?


I let the door, Hit you right in the face,
And when the check comes I’ll make you pay.
Don’t Have a car, Guess you’re picking me up,
And in the back seat we’ll be falling in love.
My only job is… to lie on this couch,
And while you’re workin’ I’ll be hangin’ out.
Now don’t get mad cause you knew from the start,
I was an asshole who would never go far.

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a stand up guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate…

Girls don’t want a gentleman,
They say they do but in the end,
Girls don’t want a gentleman,
They want a loser like me.
Girls don’t want a gentleman,
If you want to get to them,
Girls don’t want a gentleman,
They want a loser like me. (chorus)

Your parents cry when you bring me around,
They raised you up just so I can take you down.
There goes your life right before their eyes,
I’ll have you bare foot pregnant, going out of your mind.

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a stand up guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate…..

Girls don’t want a gentleman… They want a loser like me. (chorus)

I used to be a nice guy,
But that don’t get you anywhere.
So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot, Who’s too stupid to care.

If you give a girl respect,
Treat her like she’s the best,
you’re nothing to her.
She’d rather have you playing games,
Piss her off and make her wait,
If you want it to work…

Listen here:   *No official video yet, but I am sure it will be great because Theory of a Deadman videos are hilarious.

Melanys Guydline #25- Girls don’t really know what they want even if they say they do. Guys are smarter than we think because they already know this.

Check them out:


**Stay snarky my friends!**

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20 Responses to Gentlemen know best

  1. miguel nolasco November 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    who knew that it’s GUYS who are reading your BLOGS. I knew it was true ,because guys can laugh at other guy’s short comings with YOU and relate more than a girl. Keep up with the BLOGS. I’ve enjoyed everyone !!!

  2. rob November 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm #

    Hey I open doors for the ladies. Thanx for the compliment

  3. Dave Kevoe November 30, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    I have some theories of why guys read your blog more then girls, but I cannot prove my theories to be accurate, hence they are just theories.

    1) You have more guy friends then girl friends.
    2) Girls are jealous of other girls hence don’t want to give your blog the time of day.
    3) The only reason I read your blog is I like you, and I want to support what you do. If I did not know you I would not seek out to read it. Mainly cause I don’t read in general so this is even more of a compliment to you, and the only things that really do interest me as far as reading are sports, gambling, sex and travel.
    4) I highly doubt guys are trying to sneak around to read your blog but I like your active imagination. They would probably sneak porn, not Melany’s blog.
    5) Interesting point made about why chivalry may be dead and it could be do to women’s lib.

    That’s my two cents coming from a jew!

    • Melany November 30, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

      I think you have contributed at least a dollar here! LOL Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I am going to share with everyone on the site. You are very wise!

  4. Mark November 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    Kinda as a follow-up to my previous post, I read your “GUYdlines” so that I know what not to do, in the unlikely event that we meet, or in the (more likely…) event that I meet a girl like you with whom up I don’t want to mess… 🙂

    • Melany November 30, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

      That is a very good reason Mark!!!!

    • Jeni December 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

      I like his way of thinking. At least he is doing his home work!!! PS I am a girl and I like reading your blog!

      • Melany December 8, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

        Thanks for the comment!!! So happy you like it!

  5. Rob December 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    Hey Dave, Agree with you. Melany, don’t worry about the girls. There will always be jealousy among them. Possibly you are too pretty. Too smart. Not out to follow the crowd. I always see them in packs. They are usually pretty ugly and insecure. Guess they can’t think for themselves. Maybe they see too much truth and see themselves and don’t like it. If they don’t support you – too bad. They should be happy that someone tells the truth.

    • Melany December 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

      HAHA! Thanks guys!

  6. Brianna December 1, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    Hey guys. I read her blogs and think they are really cute. I am not threatened and agree with a lot that she has to say. Maybe we don’t really know what we want. I Love your stories. Thank you Melany.

  7. Nina December 2, 2012 at 10:14 am #

    ok. This is from my prospective only. Melanie, you have some interesting columns. First of all, maybe the guys like it b/c you are cute. Secondly, as they say ” beware of the green eyed monster”. You have obviously struck a nerve with some women. Just sayin’. That just means that they have some insecurities and this blog brings them out. Maybe you just hit too close to home.

    • Melany December 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

      Maybe? Thanks for the comment!

  8. Nathan December 2, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    Starting to get the picture here. Writing this stuff is cathartic. Well babe, you are doing a great job. Sorry you arent’t closer. I’d take you out in a minute. You write from the heart and its some great shit.

    • Melany December 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm #

      WOW! Thanks Nathan. Where do you live btw? LOL

  9. Girls are like phones... April 29, 2013 at 4:29 pm #

    Judging by the name I used (girls are like phones) I am actually a girl. I used that name because it is from a funny quote. I know you really don’t care but i just felt like putting that out there.
    I have been really awkward lately…

    • Melany April 29, 2013 at 6:47 pm #


  10. Simon August 2, 2013 at 10:01 am #

    That was a really interesting read. It’s funny how society (schools, parents) teach you that being nice and sweet towards everyone, especially girls, is the right way to live your life, but judging from my experience, you are my successful if you just behave in a confident, mysterious manner. I really don’t like that, and it makes you wonder if it is the guys that are forced to behave in a douche-way, or if it is the girls who just ignore the nice guys? For example, if a guy has a somewhat feminine, shy personality, or a very outgoing personality, then it’s my experience that girls laugh about it, but in the wrong way because they prefer a masculine man, right? Or if he wears a beautiful flower-T-shirt? Girls don’t like that, they maybe want that feminine side for themselves. Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me that guys read your blog since you are so cute and actually a bit masculine since you’re very straight-forward, but that’s also hot.

    Greetings from a Danish guy who likes to read obscure American blogs. How is my English?

    • Melany August 3, 2013 at 11:06 am #

      Greeting to my Danish guy fan! So happy you found me and thanks for the compliments and the comment! You rock – and hope you continue to read!

  11. Laurie King May 21, 2014 at 11:15 am #

    I LOVE that song you included in this article called: “Gentleman”- by Theory Of A Deadman!!!! Its So Cool!!!!!

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