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Funny Dating Advice: Tips From The Blogging Trenches

Blogging is a lot like a relationship. There are many things to learn and it does not come easy. (Maybe I need to listen to my funny dating advice and learn from my own relationship tips-just a thought?) Anyway, blogging doesn’t just consist of writing alone just like dating does not consist of going out to dinner with no desert. Blogging and social media are very special relationships. Each blog and social medium has unique characteristics, which make him or her one of a kind and special. Special, like the way you are supposed make your date feel. Not all dates are the same just like not all blogs or social mediums are the same. On the first date, you don’t tell them everything about your entire life, do you? (Please tell me you already know this and don’t need this bit of relationship advice because if you do, you may need to consult a professional). Well, you are not going to blog and tweet about your entire life all on the first shot blogging either. Leave them wanting more and more (unless you are some of my past dates and have nothing more to talk about after the first hour – then, don’t blog, PLEASE).

You need to be passionate about your blog in the same way you need to be genuinely excited about your boyfriend or girlfriend. Being passionate means putting the time and effort into something you really want! For example, if you see a babe at the gym and you look like you have not been on a treadmill for….well, ever; you are going to put the donuts down and do a little extra in zumba class to grab that babe. Passion can be looked at in the same way for blogging but instead of zumba you can invest 150% of yourself into the venture by surfing the internet until there is no more surfing to be done. Passion people! Pick something you really, really, really, want and go for it. Don’t wait for someone to put it down in front of you because you are going to be waiting an awful long time.

You need to take things slow and easy and not just ram it down the other person’s throat. There is a fine line between getting yourself out there and being over eager. It is the same thing for dating and online dating, right? No one wants to date that desperate guy or girl. It is a turn off. No one wants be bombarded with the same piece of “whatever” forced down their throats every five minutes. There is a pure art form to blogging and dating at least I have mastered one of these, right? Still waiting on the other person to join me in mastering dating because my blog can’t marry me (but through all these nightmarish dates it is looking mighty attractive).

They say the highest form of flattery is someone copying your style so when I get emails, IM’s, calls and texts about how to do social media I try and explain to these people that it is in fact, a full time job and I am not sitting in my closet, between lame dates, laughing at online dating profiles, surrounded by shoes and ribbons, scrapbooking away. You don’t just date someone on the side and expect there to be a long-term relationship, do you? Some of you – don’t answer that! There is no short cut or easy way to get the girl/guy or make a living? We should know that by now? But, guys should also know the last 50ish Guydlines spelled out in this here blog, but they don’t? Like using a napkin to wipe your face or hitting on the waitress in front your date aka girlfriend.

Trust me, blogging is not an easy way to make a quick buck. People ask me more and more, “do you make money” and “I want to do a blog how do you do it?”. Well, first of all, it is not something I can IM to you via Facebook. Sorry, but no cigar. Can you IM me all the tips for dating in one IM? Dating and online dating are not easy or all of us would be happily married. You are not going to grow your online presence with a few minutes of tapping the right keys just the same as you are not going to succeed in romance by tapping the right spots quickly without any real investment.
Don’t be easy – first rule of dating. Snarky Tweet

Only about 50% is actually writing a good blog with relevant content!
But, the other 50% is getting it out to the entire world and that is not an easy job. I used to tell people you can write a blog and publish it but if no one knows it is there how in the hell are they going to read it? Don’t be so vein that people will always come to you. Like when you walk in a bar not everyone is going to stop and praise you for a minute of your presence. Get over yourself. But, at the same hand I don’t expect you to scream, “I am here” when you enter said bar either! It is an art form that needs fine-tuning.

Blogging is not easy. Dating is not easy.  Relationships are not easy.

Lastly, you can’t grab the guy or girl of your dreams if your blog is snoresville. Snoresville Tweet Remember you have to have something to say that people actually give a shit about – and it helps to be funny. For me, I have not lived your normal humdrum life. Remember I have lived 9 lives and am just offering you a peak into a few of them however ridiculous, snarky and crazy they have been? Like when you go on a date, you don’t want to date yourself, do you? You need to have something to say or that person is going to be head first in their soup praying for the date (torture) to end. Please, please, be entertaining in life, blogging or whatever else you choose to do.

If you want to know more, you can contact me and I will give you a great consulting fee – promise.

Melanysguydlines #55- I herby command no more food blogs please. They are boring. NEXT!
……oh, and for my next date– don’t be boring or do anything so stupid that you end up as the material for my next post. That is all I ask (unless you want to end up as one of the dating stories from hell). Don’t be BORING!

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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4 Responses to Funny Dating Advice: Tips From The Blogging Trenches

  1. Miguel Nolasco September 24, 2013 at 5:58 pm #

    Melany , you rock me !!! This Blog#55 is your best one to date. You hit on everything I need to know “not what to do ” on a date . As someone once said ” I hear you” . I feel empowered to go to the next step with that someone who I like , thanks !!

    • Melany September 25, 2013 at 10:45 am #

      Great!!!! Happy to hear that. Good luck and lmk how it goes.

  2. Lisa Jey Davis September 25, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

    You crack me up. The biggest challenge I have when reading your blog is not hearing your voice… when every sentence ends with a question mark. LOL!!! But ALSO – great tips, and I’m loving that someone else on this planet knows about and USES clicktotweet! HAHA… Kudos – from one fellow over-worked blogger to another. XOXO

    • Melany September 25, 2013 at 12:52 pm #

      Ha – right? But, can’t you hear my voice a little in your ear? Happy you liked the tips – I learned something – I am charging for blogging consulting.

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