I am back from Vegas and have a cold. It is not fantastic because I am still hungry but can’t taste anything so forget about losing weight while sitting here with my thumb up my ass. It is not awesomely dehydrating like the stomach flu where you magically lose 5 pounds. It is more like I am bloated like a puffer fish from the sodium in soup I have been ordering from the local LA Delicatessens. At least I have been able to catch up on taxes, which may actually be the worst thing in life besides moving or a clogged ear that keeps popping and un-popping. (But, is there anything better than that final pop where you can finally hear?) I also sound like a herd of frogs that have not slept in 2 days and have been out partying with the other frogs – which I can’t do. But, I am still keeping my eyes open for that kissable pre-prince frog because at least my peepers are working just fine. Thank you very much! But, some people think I sound sexy so maybe I will just keep the voice for a little while.
There I am in a nutshell. Not all that sexy or prom ready in my current attire but working it the best way I can. You must forgive me that I have not wanted to attempt a YouTube video in my uber sexy state but I think I will wait until I am at de-puffer fighting bloat.
On a side note! How many of you have I-phones that phantom text? I mean really –I get the same, exact text like 7 times and each time with that annoying chirp. STOP! It is even more infuriating when the text message is “K” “OK” or “LOL” which never needs to be sent in the first place let alone 7 times, over and over, with massive high pitch chirping! I am writing a letter to someone at Apple. You think Ashton is still there?
I digress…. I did however want to share some super exciting news with you! I got my first two badges aka BLOGGER AWARDS known as BLOGMAS from a fellow blogger. It feels awesome! The awards were in the humor section and I am stoked. Check out my badgey badge! Thanks Fadra!
If you did not see my last post, I was invited to cover an exclusive red-carpet event where Scarlett Johansson was named Brand Ambassador for SodaStream! Check it out! I even get a soda machine but am working on one to hopefully give away! Stay tuned.
Another blog, TheLifeOfBon featured moi right now even though her post about having nothing to say got more comments than what I had to say! You never know what you silly people are going to pick up on. Anyway – worth a check.
Giveaways, you say? Well, I am part of a few giveaways right now! Check out Helene in Between – with her a happy Bday paypal cash giveaway. I opted out of the Kosher lubricant offer I received because I don’t think many people who keep Kosher are worried about dietary laws while they are being intimate.
Anyway – keep your eyes and ears open for me because I have been asked to be a regular contributor for Digital Romance Inc., About.com for DOGS, and in talks for doing a show…. Stay tuned! Oh and here is a Tweet that was RT’d quite a bit!
My dog winked at me. I winked back. Does that mean I can change my relationship status?
— MelanysGuydlines ® (@Melanyb12) January 14, 2014
**Stay snarky my friends!**