Beware of the “Frienemy”

“Frienemy”. Do you know what that is? Unfortunately, I am sure you do. It is an epidemic in society and has been running rampant for many years. My mother, sister, and I have dealt with it for as long as we can remember and it has probably run in your family as well (if it hasn’t then you are probably THE FRIENEMY and you suck and are dumb so you better take notes). This disease has been infecting poor, sheep-like individuals for so long that Wikipedia has the word in its glossary. That is sad.

Frenemy” (alternately spelled “frienemy”) is a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” that can refer to either an enemy pretending to be your friend or someone who really is your friend but is also a rival.[1] …The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.[2]

Listen ladies (as guys don’t seem to concern themselves with the same petty jealous bullshit that ladies seem to enjoy rolling around in on a daily basis) – I am talking to you. Don’t be two faced. It uses up way too much negative energy. Trust me, life is short (I have experience with this – did you read my bio?  I have lived 9 lives). What do you get out of trying to build a relationship with a girlfriend only to turn your back and run your mouth spreading cancerous rumors about that person to others? In the end, you look bad. Karma is a bitch and I can’t wait to be there to see it punch you in the face.

Rumors always get back


If your friend has more than you, is better looking than you, lives in a nicer place than you, or is just a better person than you; learn from her. If she has these things and wants to be your friend, why wouldn’t you want some of those positive characteristics to rub off on you as opposed to expending twice as much hateful energy to stab her in the back? I will never understand this.

I treat my friends like gold. I cherish them. I feel so lucky when I can find someone to talk to on a deeper level apart from what color her hair extensions are. I am sorry if I can’t be concerned that your fake tan rubbed off on your platinum blonde faker hair leaving you with peppermint patty orange hair (maybe you should save some of that money for something else considering you don’t have a job and live off your boyfriend). There are way more important things to share with one another while in a friendship and if I find someone that I can talk to on a deeper level – I feel like I struck gold.

BackstabberMost recently, I have experienced the most ridiculous form of “frienemy” to the most “mean girl” degree. I never understood women who think with one brain. It is much better to be a leader, right? YES! Oh, and btw – I am in my 30s. I thought that this childish bullshit stopped somewhere along the way but I guess I was wrong.

To those “friends” I have made and lost along the way – Thank you. You are all lessons to me. The good, bad, hurtful and inspirational are my drive to do what I am doing even better than I am doing it now.

However, I am a bit disappointed in myself that I did not see the writing on the wall. Take note – those girls that are your friends today can easily become your enemy tomorrow. If you are a sheep, think with one brain and follow the leader then that same kind of “group think” mentality can come back to haunt you. If you choose to be a part of the clan, just be comfortable with the fact that they can turn on you as easily as they turn on everyone else. So, while you are comfortable today talking shit in the majority beware that tomorrow you could be in the minority and be the “shit” they are talking about it. I don’t mean that in a good way.

If you have a problem with a friend, talk to her. I know that this is huge to some of you but it will be worth it in the long run. A true friend should be honest even if it hurts your friend at the time. It takes a bigger person to tell the truth even if it sucks at the time but is better for your friendship in the long run. Like when a friend looks fat in her sausage casing doubling as a dress or her makeup looks like a box of Crayolas threw up all over her face. It is better to tell her even though it may be a little harsh (you may want to use other words than I chose above depending on the sensitivity factor of that friend).

Have pride in yourself and who you are as a friend and person. Don’t do an about face and leave the other person wondering what the hell happened. You could be missing out on the best ally in the world. But, for those of you who make up the rest of the flock you should just enjoy where you are because you will never be anything but just mediocre and a part of the crowd. I think these people are the most pitiful because they have no idea what they stand for and are doing what they are doing just because someone else is doing it first.



I know that everyday I say what I think and do what I say. There is never any wavering.

I will stay true to what I wrote on the first blog and will never name names. You know who you are. Grow a pair and get over yourselves unless you are satisfied as being part of the herd. I know you will find the next “frienemy” and do the same thing over again with the final result being you are without any REAL friends but have a lot of “frienemies”! I have seen it happen time and time again. Don’t think you are the exception to this rule. It is like facebook, you can have thousands of “friends” online but do you have anyone you can depend on to take you to get your wisdom teeth pulled. Or are they just there to make an appearance with you at the club? Think about it.

Melany’s Guydline #44 Jealousy is a bitch! But, I can be bigger bitch and I am not afraid to stand up and speak my mind. Don’t be a “frienemy” because you will have a lot of enemies, no true friends (and end up wearing a sausage casing and Crayola throw-up on your face to the next biggest social event this month without knowing it)!

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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10 Responses to Beware of the “Frienemy”

  1. green May 7, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    I hear ya! Just had a close encounter with this exact situation!

    • Melany May 7, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

      Out with the old!!!

  2. Marc May 7, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    Frenemies come in the form of males as well. I recently had a very bad living situation with people I called friends. I gave 1 of them a place to live, in Sacramento, when he had nowhere else to go. Got him a job working as a homecare worker, and we all moved back to the bay area. He continuously talked shit behind my back, lied about things, and still lies to people about the situation that went on.
    Yes, I never lied, called things the way they were and got a lot of flack for speaking my mind and being a true friend.
    I am thankful to be completely out of that situation.
    You have nailed this on the head with a huge hammer, and appeared to straighten a bent nail. Keep it up, Melany.

    • Melany May 7, 2013 at 6:01 pm #

      Thanks MARC and for sharing that story! I know there are some real assholes out there!

  3. Esther B May 7, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

    So true. So spot on. Love it!

    • Melany May 7, 2013 at 9:10 pm #


  4. sheila June 21, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    WORD!!!! I learned that the hard way, but i’ve also learned to move on. peace xo

    • Melany June 21, 2013 at 9:25 am #

      TRUE~ 🙂

  5. Anne June 5, 2014 at 5:20 pm #

    I’ve had a nasty run in with one

    • Melany June 9, 2014 at 9:08 am #

      I have had a nasty run in with a lot more than 1 -sadly 🙁

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