This weekend while you sit at your local dive and try to make sex eyes at the only person in the room that’s remotely passable, our intern Libby will be donning the cap and gown on the big stage at Loyola Marymount University. A momentous occasion for any young adult. Take for instance this tasteful tweet from yours truly on the day of my graduation. (Cover your eyes Melany’s Mom)
Purdue commencement : Why the fuck didn't any of you tell me to skip this?
— Matthew Shawn Bailey (@SonofHilljack) August 4, 2012
Forewarning Libby, everything changes when you step off the stage of your college graduation. The skies turn grey and you’re suddenly craving coffee, nicotine and some cubicle walls to stare deeply into. Suddenly matrimony and motherhood seem like palatable affairs. Recall walking into a random somebody’s living room with a case of beer and a desire to party deep into the night? From this point forward, that’s probably going to get the cops called on you. Also, in what will seem like an overnight period, music starts sounding painfully loud, you become completely inadept at modern technology, and your personal fashion becomes about as contemporary as a loin cloth.
Jokes aside, an epic congratulations is in store for our girl. From the handful of stories we’ve been able to hear from her during the short period of time she’s been with us, we can rest assured she didn’t take her college years for granted. Libby is down for anything — a trait that will keep her youthful spirit churning well past AARP qualification.
So while we drown our sorrows of adulthood in happy hour beer this weekend, let’s all collectively toast to our newest grad, Ms. Libby!
Editors note from Melany
Congratulations! You are now old. Kidding (kinda). Thank you so much for all you have done for the Melanysguydlines team thus far. You are one snarky intern and I love it. Easy though on the bathroom humor, not sure everyone wants to meet “ED” and I know you will thank me one day for not posting that. It did give Matt and I a few laughs and we now know who the go-to person is to write about TMI subjects. BTW….go party! Party and enjoy this time before your parents catch on to the fictitious excuse that “you are taking a break after college” and they find out it really means you just don’t want to WORK!