41 Things Before The Alarm Rings

I am up but the rest of my body is sleeping. You know when you get up and you should go back to bed but you don’t because you have 41 things on your mind for the day? Yeah – that’s me every day! I never said these things were important to everyone – don’t judge, or do, because we all do. This was written at 6:00AM so here is a little peak into my early morning mind for the day…..

happy hour

Is it here yet?

1. Get up before the dog. If Teddy Brewski hears me walking around before 7AM I will never get through my 1200 + emails. Make sure to tip toe and not wake my sleeping beauty downstairs. I am sure this applies to people with two legged children as well.

2. Pack – what else is new? Where in the world is MelanysGuydlines this week? Big suitcase or bigger suitcase?
3. If I didn’t already pack it, is it properly listed on one of my 11 lists? If not, rewrite new list, organize lists into today and tomorrow and next week and throw away old lists. REPEAT.
4. Get on twitter. I miss it when I can’t tweet. I mean, who else wants to listen to my snarky one –liners at any time of the day? If I don’t get them out early, there is no telling who may be on the other end during my daily travels through Hollywood.
5. Should I get my nail fixed now or later? So annoying. Why can’t they just stay long?
6. Can I get away with my roots for one more week and people not think I have chosen the most ridiculously awful ombre hair color. Who created that? Oh yeah? I heard they walked off a long peer.
7. Laundry – it never stops. Can someone create clothes that wash themselves? Better yet – why doesn’t someone teach dogs how to wash clothes and Teddy Brewski can take care of that for me in the morning?
8. I need to write a blog post. What am I going to write about? Remember that guy you heard on the radio who was 22, went to the UofA and getting a billion YouTube hits? Yeah –write! Be FUNNY!
9. Who am I going to hear from today and how am I going to answer their email in a less “snarky” manner just in case I need them in the future?
10. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?
11. Where can I meet some new people and recycle my old friends? Seriously?
12. Does anyone ever meet online and do all those testimonials about working really work?
13. I need to workout. I have no time. Does Get Fit in 10 minutes actually work? How many 10 minutes do you have to do? I have 5 now and maybe 3.5 later?
14. I wonder if my new neighbor is going to be cute?
15. I need to schedule my day in Los Angeles to avoid all possible traffic rage episodes. So, I am going to never drive.
16. Did he text me back? Did she text me back?
17. I’m going to be tired by noon but maybe I am going to take a nap. (I can’t nap).
18. Who really takes naps during the weekdays anyway?
19. I wonder where I can take the two full little pigs holding a bunch of my quarters from the bottom of my purse so I can exchange for extra cash? AND……Why do people people love bacon so much?

Sparkley pig

Sparkles + Pig = Rich Bacon


20. How do I get more traffic on the blog? How many people are going to ask me if I make money writing a blog? Do I answer or ignore?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              21. How can I make more money?
22. Who do I want to work with this week?
23. Why is LA so LA?
24. I wonder if I will have a chance to visit all my friends and their kids before they enroll said kids in college?
25. I wonder who made it on last night’s episode since I can never watch an entire TV program the whole way through? Twitter wins.
26. How in the world did she marry him? Why did he marry her?
27. I’m hungry.
28. I need a nap.
29. Wonder if I can get a massage?
30. I need to get my teeth cleaned.
31. Should I buy one of those portable desks so that I can work in different spots around the house?
32. Why do people call/text/write out the blue and expect something from me for free?
33. Wait, when did I become a concierge? Why did he text me that? I should just reply that I am not a concierge and have no idea where it is.
34. I want some rock ‘n roll!
35. When can I go back to Vegas?
36. What the hell is that?


37. I am um……..Up?
38. When is happy hour? (Thanks to Uncorked Ventures, I have 2 brand new bottles of wine waiting for me to try downstairs).

when is happy hour

When is happy hour?

39. Emerson Brown Cabernet Sauvignon or Vina Robles Red 4?
40. When is happy hour?

41. When is happy hour?

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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16 Responses to 41 Things Before The Alarm Rings

  1. Joey Lynn Resciniti (@BTaC_blog) June 26, 2014 at 9:50 am #

    I spend thoughts #1-12 trying to determine what day of the week it is. Every morning. If I could just keep a calendar by my bed (or better something like a memory in my head) I could get up 20 minutes earlier every morning.

    Love your dog’s name. What a cutie!

    • Melany June 26, 2014 at 6:25 pm #

      HAHAAHA! That is a good one. Never thought of including that. Maybe a part 2 but when I am hungover? LOl. Thanks and Teddy Brewski says WOOF!

  2. Ann June 26, 2014 at 10:54 am #

    Whoa, I thought I was bad! Unfortunately around my house, the cat always manages to get up 30 minutes before my alarm and demand to be fed; so I get out of bed before I’m actually awake enough to think (good? bad? not sure…)
    As for Happy Hour–neither one is a bad choice there!

    • Melany June 26, 2014 at 6:20 pm #

      HA! I know – maybe I should have stopped at 21 but oh well? LOL! Cheers!

  3. Marrie June 26, 2014 at 11:53 am #

    I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted! Here’s to Happy Hour and liquid therapy! *cheers*

    • Melany June 26, 2014 at 6:19 pm #

      Me too! How about that cocktail? CHEERS!

  4. Nina June 26, 2014 at 12:10 pm #

    HAHA. This is so accurate! Especially all the “I need a nap”

    • Melany June 26, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

      Ironically – I took a nap today! I was that tired – and I never nap. Maybe if I blogged more about napping – I could nap!

  5. Anne June 26, 2014 at 2:45 pm #

    Absolutely loved it!!!!

    • Melany June 26, 2014 at 6:08 pm #

      Ha thanks girl! A Bit random – I know! LOL

  6. Cheri Powell June 26, 2014 at 7:33 pm #

    Jeez Melany, do you ever sleep? But then, I get you all the way.

    • Melany June 30, 2014 at 7:20 am #

      No – I never sleep or at least it feels like that 🙁

  7. Carey June 28, 2014 at 9:34 am #

    Very funny! Does your mind ever turn off?

    • Melany June 30, 2014 at 7:21 am #

      Nope, sometimes I wish I would! LOL

  8. Ms. Cheevious June 29, 2014 at 12:31 pm #

    Ahhhhh… so good to know I’m not the only ZANY person left on planet earth. I need to plan another trip to Vegas too. Maybe we could sync our early morning thoughts and double-time deal with them together? Would that work? Something more to ponder in the early morning light.

    • Melany June 30, 2014 at 7:21 am #

      YES! That sounds good! Probably going to try and go in the next month or so. It is one of my friends Bdays and then I want to go see Tesla!!!!

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