32 Snarky Relationships Tips from My Dog Teddy Brewski- PART 2

32 snarky relationship tips from my dog Teddy brewski  - part 2

He knows best!

There are so many posts on this site that sometimes I forget snarky nuggets I have written. Thankfully, there are sites that help me get content to you without it being lost in the blogosphere forever such as StumbleUpon. If you don’t know it, you should. You could spend the rest of your life on that site and never get up to go to the bathroom. I don’t recommend it because I dated a guy that did things like that and I think he is still sitting in front of his computer, but I do recommend allotting a certain amount of time to stumbling.

Plus, StumbleUpon and Barkbox named one of MelanysGuydlines posts to one of their famous lists and this post received a Blogma award in humor. So, you know I am going to tell you even more about it, right? But, I am going to add a few more points because I want to.

The post is about Teddy Brewski. I am not sure he really needs much of an introduction since I think he should be running his own twitter account and my Instagram is really his account. I see him posting all the time -seriously. I mean wouldn’t you if you looked like that? No photoshop. No filter needed ever.

Teddy brewski

Snarky Barky

The post is …

Snarky Relationship Tips & Advice: Teddy B Style

stumbleupon all things dogs

All Things Dogs …and more!

and here are some snarky nuggets from that post….

“My snarky relationship tips come from my experience with Teddy Brewski. He is better than any boyfriend I have had, any day, because I am his one and only. Here is some snarky relationship advice from a woman who has been through enough guys to provide it to you with certain flair.

-He does what I tell him. (Well, most of the time). If not, I can throw the leash on him and he is always by my side. If I did that to a boyfriend I would probably get arrested (or be into some really, weird S&M craziness which I am NOT but to each their own).

He bathes when I want him to bathe. If I tell him that he smells, he never gives me attitude. I once dated a guy that only thought he needed to shower every 3 days and that his skin needed to be lubricated by his natural oils. The only thing lubricating from his natural oils was the wafting smell from his armpits lingering in my nasal cavities…….

He always chooses me over his friends. He may sniff their assess but he knows whose ass to kiss if he wants something good.”

You have to read the rest with a tease like that – don’t ya? DO IT! Snarky Relationships Tips and Advice Teddy B Style


Before you go, here are ten more points that Teddy Brewski wanted to add.

He never steals the remote and always watches what I like to watch on TV. We don’t argue over sports teams or which movie to watch.

He patiently waits for me to try on 27 outfits and gets super excited about each look I choose. I am talking every, single damn time.

He is always presentable. I never need to question his behavior in public and this is a big deal. Have you seen some of the guys I have dated?

He plays well with others. No bullshit, just maybe a few poop bags along the way.

I can take him anywhere. He travels well and takes a small suitcase. That is because he is short like me.  

He walks by my side. He never walks in front or behind me. Don’t you know that song guys?

He is down for whatever or at least when I say “down” he is down.

He plays no games except for the occasional, never-ending fetch. And who doesn’t enjoy a game with a great prize?

He loves all of my gifts. He gets excited about every single bone!

He knows when he’s been bad and is not too stubborn to apologize. Who said you can’t teach a not too old dog new tricks?



**Stay snarky my friends!**

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13 Responses to 32 Snarky Relationships Tips from My Dog Teddy Brewski- PART 2

  1. Lily February 28, 2015 at 8:48 am #

    Melany, Teddy is really cute. I am baffled as to why you don’t have a shit list about guys. I think we women would love to add to that list. Just a suggestion.
    Love you and your Guydlines. I am new to your site but will come back, hopefully, when you make that

    • Melany March 2, 2015 at 12:54 pm #

      HAHA! Thanks! Maybe I should do a shit list post?

  2. Miranda March 1, 2015 at 9:43 am #

    Hi Melany – I loved this – too cute. I am going back and reading Part 1. BTW, I have a Beagle.

  3. Travis Knight March 1, 2015 at 12:45 pm #

    Ha ha ha!! Very interesting post here. One of your best. Enjoyed reading it. I wrote a set of jokes, about a year ago, from a guy’s perspective. I’ll have to post it some time.

    • Melany March 2, 2015 at 12:53 pm #

      Thanks! This is one of my favorites! Thanks!

  4. Single Dating Diva March 5, 2015 at 4:20 am #

    I’m convinced! I think I need a dog!! Great post and really those are ideal traits we want in a man … hmmm maybe we’ve been going about this ALL WRONG!! hahaha Great post 🙂

    • Melany March 7, 2015 at 11:44 am #

      HAHA! Thanks WOOF! Was thinking about flipping it around and doing why men are sometimes better than dogs but dont know how much I can write! LOL

  5. Ms. Cheevious March 6, 2015 at 12:47 pm #

    HILARIOUS and oh-soooo true! I love the one “He always looks presentable” – but you forgot, “He lets me groom him!” (or did I not see that one?) LOL! Men are SO sensitive when we say… “Hey! Get a hair cut, ya bushy fiend!!!” I mean, WTF?

    • Melany March 7, 2015 at 11:48 am #

      I know right? Like we would want to make them look ugly! NAH!

  6. Boston Single Girl (@BostnSingleGirl) March 7, 2015 at 6:58 am #

    Hilarious and snarky as always girl! Love it!!! And Teddy B is so adorable 😉

    • Melany March 7, 2015 at 11:48 am #

      Thanks!! WOOF!

  7. Tinzley March 8, 2015 at 3:33 am #

    I really love this and what a cutie he is! I tell you these guys had better wake up and understand that no one is dealing with their crap and inability to simply find a mate, pursue and date her, and well marry her. Who has time for disobedience from a grown behind man! Also not sure you’d be locked up for the leash thing? Guys are so freaky these days he just might like you leashing him!! Ha Ha Ha!! Great stuff!

    • Melany March 8, 2015 at 9:09 am #

      HAHA – you are probably right about that leash thing. Men – these days! #settlefree

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