October, 2014 | Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines

Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By Melany on October 31, 2014 in Snarky

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter. Now, it is… Continue Reading

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It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s A Zeusvision Bus : Larger Than Life Creative Ads For You & Me

By Melany on October 28, 2014 in Goodies

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the world of Zeusvision and their ginormous buses. You’ve seen outdoor advertising in many places? Those annoying looped vids in Las Vegas taxis that repeat the most annoying ads for huge companies with no relation to the person viewing in the cab. What about those billboards in NY or LA that stay up for too long? Can you say a decaying, Thanksgiving ad that still hangs above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. when Santa is coming down the chimney for his milk and cookies Christmas Day? Have you ever wanted… Continue Reading

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Reality Crowd TV: Relationships, Crowdfunding, Entrepreneurship & More

By Melany on October 27, 2014 in Relationships

The social media world is vast and offers so many opportunities I wouldn’t otherwise have without this blog and MelanysGuydlines channels. This morning I was honored to “hangout” as guest on Reality Crowd TV discussing crowdfunding, entrepreneurship, and relationship marketing in social Media & PR. The only catch was we taped via Google Hangouts and most guests were on the East Coast. As you know, I am somewhere in the world but on the West Coast. So, when I woke Teddy Brewski up at 5AM to take him for a walk and it was pitch black in the desert –… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

By Melany on October 25, 2014 in Snarky

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

By Melany on October 22, 2014 in Snarky

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Win $400 Murad Anti Aging Face & Body Firming Regimen

By Melany on October 15, 2014 in Goodies

Yes. You read that right? You know I will only introduce you to the best products out there and this post will not disappoint. With aging, I have embraced getting snarkier but I could live without the birthday lines if you know what I mean? I have used Murad in the past as they have great products but never had the opportunity to use an entire anti-aging regimen…. until now. You can imagine how excited I was to foster a relationship with Murad and the excitement on my face (fine lines and all) when I opened up this gift from… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

By Melany on October 14, 2014 in Snarky

Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

By Melany on October 9, 2014 in Snarky

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Win A Trip to LA, Coachella VIP & More From Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps

By Melany on October 6, 2014 in Goodies

Ella…Ella…Ella…..Read this entire post to find out how you can win one of the coolest contests yet! Yes. How amazing is this? Can you believe that I worked in the music business for ten years and never went to a Coachella Festival! What is wrong with me? Can you say workaholic? And now….I have a chance to offer you guys the opportunity to go! Let me explain the Lenovo & Microsoft’s #TeamUp With Timbaland Sweeps to you. REWIND. So, last month, Lenovo and Microsoft teamed up with Timbaland (love and yes I am a rocker but love him) to create… Continue Reading

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Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

By Melany on October 1, 2014 in Goodies

You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both… Continue Reading

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