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Van Halen in Las Vegas: I am with the band

By on April 29, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky

Ah Las Vegas! I have spent many days and nights in my favorite city doing all types of unimaginable things. One of my most memorable “vacays” in sin city was not a vacation at all. When I worked in the illustrious music business, marketing rock bands, I was presented with an offer “to work” a show that I could not refuse. I am talking about Van Halen people. You know who they are, right? Well, one of the first tours I ever had the privilege of working on was Van Halen (not with Diamond Dave but with the Red Rocker… Continue Reading

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ToadHopNetwork is now a sponsor to the Las Vegas contest #guydlines giveaway!

By on April 25, 2013 in Goodies
Toadhopnetwork and Melanysguydlines is sending you to VEGAS!

So, if our contest could not get any sweeter, it just did!!! I am so excited to announce that we have added our special sponsors/rockstar promoters ToadHopNetwork!  Now what do you think? Go check out the radio shows on the network. There is something for everyone. Sex, rock (KLOS – Heidi and Frank), geeks, funny…..on and on. I thought that giving my loyal followers and newcomers a chance to win a weekend in Vegas on me would get a lot of entries. But, I have found that running a contest is more challenging than just offering a kick ass prize… Continue Reading

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Vegas : “The Great Unimaginable”

By on April 25, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Unless you’re occupying a comfy space underneath a rock, you’ve noticed we’re giving away a weekend getaway package to Las Vegas.  As we were throwing around ideas for new content, the focus was on our individual experiences with Sin City.  While Emily wondered how she could possibly spin an appropriate Vegas tale (is there such a thing?), I quietly inhaled my cigarette a little more aggressively.  You see, my life to this point has been a little….sheltered.  Summer is coming up around the corner….and that’s pretty cool, I suppose.  There was a point in my life where this was significant… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for Coachella… How avoid Looking Like a Stupid White Boy

By on April 24, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Amongst a sea of Urban Outfitters and white kids dressed as Indians was the world’s largest music festival.  Hosting over 80,000 people and bands most of us have never heard of, we decided Coachella goers needed a few guydlines to help them survive the weekend. Coachella Guydline #1: Go with an open mind, but please, beware of any guy who wants to show you his “wand”. Coachella Guydline #2: Find sensible shoes, you might step on acid and wake up 5 days later in the middle of the desert wondering what the hell happened to you. Coachella Guydline #3: Opt… Continue Reading

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Female Lakers Fans

By on April 24, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

Alright, as this painful seasons continues I cannot go any longer without giving a breakdown of the female fans. I’ve had enough of your generic tweets and conveniently timely statuses to believe that all of you are true fans. So here ya go.. my views on girls who are Los Angeles Laker fans. Girls who don’t know and don’t care I mean, at least these girls are honest. They don’t pretend to know who the players are or clog our news feed with fake statuses pretending they care. Its okay! You’re allowed to live in Los Angeles and not scream at… Continue Reading

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One hit wonder of the week: Reese Witherspoon

By on April 23, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky
Reese Witherspoons mugshot

Why, Reese? Why? You had everything. You had a well-deserved title as an all-American girl, the healthiest blonde locks in Hollywood and the best Southern twang I’ve heard in a long time. Then you dyed your hair dirt brown, married a no name and got yourself arrested for being a rude, inconsiderate drunkard. I never thought you’d be on my one hit wonder list, but your behavior earns you a top spot on today’s agenda. I’ll give it to you straight, Reese. I expected better from you. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s celebrities who think they’re above… Continue Reading

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ENTER CONTEST TO WIN TRIP TO LAS VEGAS HERE:

By on April 21, 2013 in Goodies

Want to get lucky? Me too. I think I may be able to help you out. How about a weekend in Las Vegas on your favorite snarky blog – Melanysguydlines.com and sponsors; Travelvegas.com and ICJUK/ Inspired By Claire Jane? And now, our special sponsor rockstars – Toadhopnetwork  PRIZE: LAS VEGAS WEEKEND – 2 nights stay at The Signature at the MGM Grand Hotel. You will live like royalty in this luxurious suite with sweeping balcony views. May 31, 2013-Jun 2, 2013. -Cabana at The Signature private pool for all three days where you can soak up as much or as… Continue Reading

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Bodyguard or Photobomb?

By on April 21, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
Lindsey Lohan

Living in southern California means a lot of things; we do yoga, juice cleanses, we’re ‘sooo chillllll’, but mostly it means that we get to see celebrities on the reg. It’s not unusual to see Justin Bieber speeding around Calabasas or Slash eating sushi at Katsuya. Well a couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to spot the one and only, disheveled Lindsay Lohan partying at a club in San Diego. The good thing about being in with the industry is knowing the promoters, bouncers and all of the bottle services girls who have the inside scoop. I was out… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

By on April 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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I am dating my blog

By on April 16, 2013 in Relationships
Be nice or I will blog about you!

There are people who blog like scrapbooking and people who are working their ass off to TRY and make a living doing it. I never knew that you could make a living from blogging and started with Melanysguydlines.com as a creative and cathartic outlet. But, I really needed a job and guys, I have to make a living and Teddy is hungry. It is not as easy as you think. People ask me what I am doing and trust me – I am working 19+ hour days. I wake up to Melanysguydlines at 5:30 AM, we eat breakfast, shower, shit,… Continue Reading

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The Guidelines For a #Guydline

By on April 14, 2013 in Goodies
Guydlines for life.

What happens when you combine a tablespoon of snark, a dash of cynicism and heaps of truth?  You get a delicious little nugget of credence called the “Guydline”. Guydlines are theories rooted deeply in life’s greatest successes and failures.  They’re words to live by, wisdom to share, and if you can find a cool font or latin translation– perhaps something to permanently tattoo on your body. As my father would say, “Big hat, no cattle” or in other words “when they say they are, they are not” (and consider it a friendly warning to ALL of you not be taken… Continue Reading

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Don’t take a chance on dating reunion tours

By on April 11, 2013 in Relationships
not with my ex anymore

  After a quick look through the latest posts it is depressingly obvious that my dating life is non-existent due to the lack of material posted recently. I can’t remember the last time I was actually asked out. I get a lot of  “aren’t you worried that no one will ask you out because of your blog” and requests from guys from my past asking to meet for lunch but no follow up. I just don’t understand men today. Even if we are to become friends, shouldn’t you still follow up after the initial email? Are you all really scared… Continue Reading

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